Safar

चलते चलते मैं रुक जाती हूँ,.
अगर बहुत दूर चली आती हूँ.
मुड़ के एक बार देख लेती हूँ,
अगर भूल जाती हूँ,
कि अकेले ही तो चली थी,
दिल को फिर समझाती हूँ,
अगर बहुत दूर चली आती हूँ.

कभी कोई तितली मिल जाती है,
तो पल भर को ठहर जाती हूँ,
नज़र भर को देख लेती हूँ,
अगर भूल जाती हूँ,
कि कई रंग है बेरंग दुनिया के,
एक नया रंग देख पाती हूँ,
अगर बहुत दूर चली आती हूँ.



कभी कोई नदी आ जाती है,
तो उसके साथ हो लेती हूँ,
फिर मोड़ पे अकेली हो जाती हूँ,
अगर भूल जाती हूँ,
की सब साथी नही सफ़र के,
फिर एक साथी छोड़ जाती हूँ,
अगर बहुत दूर चली आती हूँ.

कभी ठोकर लग जाती है,
तो गिर के संभल जाती हूँ,
कई बार रास्ता ही बदल जाती हूँ,
अगर भूल जाती हूँ,
कि लंबा सफ़र है, जल्दी नही अच्छी,
कुछ देर ठहर जाती हूँ,
अगर बहुत मैं थक जाती हूँ.

चलते चलते मैं रुक जाती हूँ,.
अगर बहुत दूर चली आती हूँ.
मुड़ के एक बार देख लेती हूँ,
अगर बहुत दूर चली आती हूँ.

P.S. Writing in hindi after ages..feel free to correct my mistakes :)

Raindrops on my Window

All pretty, small and together
They laugh, they dance then wither
Singing a song, they mingle along
Disappearing back to where they belong

- The Raindrops on my Window

The Perfect Being

Pre-Script :One of my friend updated the following status on his fb :

When Apples were 3 and we were 4 ...my mom said "I don't like apples"

..and to torture you all..it reminded me of my following poem which i wrote when i was 14 (and edited when i was 16)..It's kiddish but the closest thing to my heart i would have ever written..Enjoy!


When I was four :
A heartily smiling face,
Looking down on me,
Swinging me with full pace,
Grabbing me with both hands,

The only one,
To be happy
When i passed step one

--She is my mother
The first memory of her.

When I was ten :

Tightly, steadily holding papers,
Asking a familiar face,
To fill them up,
Standing worried in a new school,

The only one
Though literally illiterate
Getting my admission done

--She is my Mother
One of the faintest memory of her

When I was thirteen :

Trying to console me,
Standing beside my bed,
Arranging the pills and syrup,
Moving fingers through my hair,

The only one
Greatly afraid
Still making me stand operation

--She is my mother
The most heartwarming memory of her

When i was fourteen :

Making me rest in her lap,
Encouraging me with most zealous words,
Unknown with Boards,
But preparing me for the trial,

The only one
Mysteriously filled
With moral information

--She is my mother
The most lovely memory of her.


When i am sixteen :

Ready for the most wisest advice,
Ready for the most warmest lap,
Ready for the most genuine care,
Ready for the friend in need,

Ready for the only one
I know will be with me
Always, at any situation

--She is my mother
The perfect idol on earth.


Post-Script : Isn't it simply amazing how your mother understand your world better than you....even when you refuse to admit that.. :)

Death (Again!)

Wish Life Was Peaceful Like Death!

Shattered Expectations

I come down to my knees

to please you..

to worship you..

But like all worldly Gods..

you turn gray

and run away.

Not realizing my

bleeding heart lays

beneath your feet..

You walk away crushing

the last hope

i hold to breathe

I don't know why

i fall so low

coming near your toe

What i want is small

i want you to hold me

and break this fall

Am i asking for

something big

you dont wish to give?

One More Time

Say it again, Oh Baby! Say it again
Let me be clear, Let me hear it again
Let me see my world fall apart
Oh Baby! Let me witness my part

I tell you I am not strong
But I know, I have to take this along
I know the words you will convey
Oh Baby, but if you should, then you may

Don't hide it, don't fake it anymore
Go if you want to, just say it once more
Don't worry if it will hurt, if it will pain
You see Dear! It's about love and loss, not gain

So, Say it again, Oh Baby! Say it again
Let me be clear, Let me hear it again

It's not easy, to see this fall
But it's harder, to carry this all
So It's better, you kill me right here
Oh baby, Don't bother about every year




When I look down in your eyes, today
I see no place, nowhere for me to stay
I knew you would leave me, somehow
It's a bit early Dear, But if it is, let it be now

So, Say it again, Oh Baby! Say it again
Let me be clear, Let me hear it again

And while you walk down the other way
For one last time, let me ask you this straight
You remember, the day when you came
Was it only to hurt me, all over again?

I walk ahead, Leaving you to trace

Pre-Script : The topic is not new or unheard of. In fact, it's the one debated uncountable times ending on some absurd solutions every time. The biggest failure of "man"kind have been the disrespect of it's better half. For long women have suffered, subjected and kept patience. But not anymore. Things are changing. Slowly, yet transforming. It's a tribute to the longest war ever fought. "She" is winning and you have to notice that. "I" in the poem is the soul of women speaking to the Man (you) who held her as subjected for long.

I walk among you
My head held high
Altering the age-old notion
I walk towards sky

And I walk fast
As you try to race
Yes! I am ahead
Leaving you to trace

I have learn the art
Well before you predicted
I have set myself free
Of the chains you invented

I demanded my place
And before you could reject
I tried to stand
Only to walk this perfect

I have beaten you dead
In your own game
Perhaps, u made a mistake
When you called me lame

The pain and agony
I endured on your birth
Accumulated for long
Showing its worth

You tried oppression
You practiced strength
The atrocities you carried
Lasted centuries length

The more you tortured
The stronger I have hit your face
I now walk ahead
Leaving you to trace

A gentle Reminder :

Be careful of your duty toward God in Whom ye claim (your rights) of one another, and toward the wombs (that bear you)" (Quran 4:1).

Updates:

#1 I know i don't comment..and its a crime...i am guilty..but i read..i really do..think thats enough a bribe to be allowed to post :D
#2 I ll comment soon...aaj hi may be..and i ll try to be regular...
#3 Sowie :(

The Battel within

But a battle with your own heart is the most difficult battle to win..you know your enemy so well that you often forget by which side and for whom you you are fighting..you play from both sides...and so you lose half the battle even if somehow you manage to win the other half..the victory will not be satisfying because a part of you will fail...Your failure is so pre-written...nothing works..no weapons..no strategies...you cant hide..you cant run..you cant bow and you have to stand the whole battle...no matter whatever it takes..

**Quoted from one of my own rants..something i felt like sharing

I feel you around me, like air

The bubbling water washing my feet
The setting sun reddening peek
And the breeze lifting my hair
I feel you around me, like air


The deafening silence of solitude
The growing night bluing mood
The chilling wind touching my body bare
I feel you around me, like air


I feel you when I breathe,
When I walk, when I sleep
I feel you when I am alone
When in a group, when I am home


I feel you when I am down
When I am happy, when I frown
I feel you living in my soul,
In my heart, somewhere very close


The words won’t let you know
Neither the tears which mourn
On how much I miss you
On how much I love you


But believe me I swear, always
I feel you around me, like air

**Hey guys ..long time...i hope ppl rem'ber me here :P...

WL Meet-up - Chennai's Day Out

This it folks....the day we were waiting for....

We waited, we sweated....and then we met....

Chennai Meet has officially begun

The destination was Pizza Hut....nice place...nice chicks around...food had to be great..its pizza's for lord's sake :P

Kingsley was the first one there...standing dumbfounded....guess he searched inside for us....hope he didnt gt hold of some other gal thinking her to be aarthi :P

lols...so when we reached, john was already there...i was meeting him for the first time.....he's pleasant company...talks way too less and very much matured.

Jeez am J

okays we went in and chatted...the waiter was eyeing us with suspicion....hehe...and we kept on chatting. Aarthi and Kings started in Tamil and everything went over my head...i could only mumble ser seri from time to time. Gulshan rang up...said she was on her way!! she found an auto but had to run after it :P

She arrived bout 20 mins later...all in pink and yay!! we were 4 of us then.....

We chatted about ourselves.....i dun wanna get into details...but yes people...it was fun....we had a rollicking time....thoorika arrived late after we finished our pizza's hehe...

Over to Gulshan

I never knew apart from writers it will introduce me to some great friends too…when I came to know via Stephen that he has met a few writer’s from Lounge, I used to wonder if I will ever be able to meet anyone of them…coz the only guy I knew from Chennai in Lounge was Kings and till then we were as good as strangers….but finally Her Highness (Artz..she looks like one) descended from heaven, read Delhi (bad comparison :D) to earth, read Chennai….met her Prince Charming (FL…he is doesn look like though :P) and decided to meet some poor mortals like us….lol….

To cut the story short….it was WL’s first anniversary and some brilliant person(i-don’t-know-who) decided to keep a meet in Chennai…yes u read it right..here..in Chennai..the one in Tamil Nadu..Gosh I was so excited so happy and so down in fever ….my mom said no..even before I told her Sunday’s program..she made sure that I am on my bed, in my room, at the most if I can go anywhere it was within the four walls of my home ….poor me…but then I decided in the morning itself…I have to go..so I jumped out of bed, hopped and played around, fought with my brother and mom finally irritated..shooed me out from home :D :D

I was late but was finally there….after a lot of hungama of course..the place was new for all of us..so everyone was confused ….FL ko pakdo :P….but when I met them it was awesome…superb…too good…I don’t have words to describe…not even for a second I felt that I was meeting some new people…it was like as if we knew each other….we started with introduction and some leg pulling and reminders to FL that he wasn’t on date :P….then Kings ordered…oh I forgot to tell that we were in PizzaHut …which poor people had to select coz of me …because I said no to Mocha…sorry guys :(….

Kings was a calm and composed person of course the most mature and the “Gentlemen” type of guy…he was just as what I imagined him through his blog writings :)..felt great to meet him…

Artz was a great friend…a charming personality…she is literature graduate and handling some Building stuff business….wow..how do you even link it dear…anyways was fun all the time…cracking jokes and hi5’ing all the time….she was the second most mature person…above all I was wondering how she was juggling all the work and these frequent meetings at the same time..She was kind of a lost friend found :)

Freelancer a.k.a Mridu was really irritated because of me...he was even going to throw me out of the auto : ( heartless :D :D ….i kept pulling his leg all the time... and he kept cursing me because I didn’t leave him alone with Artz even on way :D :D…on a serious note…he was a great guy..fun to be with…think we can be great friends…and yeah..he is last in the list of maturity :P :P lol

Thoorika..she was late…very late…atleast she made me feel that I am not the only late lateef :P…she was kind of silent but smart….calm and composed ..her signature words being “Khalo” and “chalo” :D :D….I don’t think I heard anything else from her mouth whole day long…nice girl though..she dint step in water but as it was supposed to be…we got drenched way back home :D :D

Arv was supposed join us..but couldn’t because of his some commitments…anyways hoping to see him next time :) We spoke to Prats, Ste and other Bangalore people also :) They too met and it seems and enjoyed a lot :)

After PizzaHut it was beach..Kings couldn’t join us…but then we four were there…had fun….I made them all walk miles for Arun’s Icecream..hehehe..hope they aren’t cursing me….I was supposed to leave back at 3.30 or max by four…but then I didn’t wanted to leave and by the time we parted it was already 6.30….we all decided to meet next weekend for movie..Bidding goodbye to FL and Artz me and Thoorika left for home..and thus ended the tiring and happy day :)

I was sure of catching fever..but wow I was able to go to office today and write this post :)..i think happiness took over tiredness and fever was shown way to home :D :D I am too excited to meet these people and all of them again this coming weekend…hope it ll be even more fun and we ll bond even better :)

Love you loads guys…thanks for bearing me throughout the day :)

Heena

over to artz--

On Sunday, we experienced what we have always talked about – TWL is a family. Since you know about almost everything after reading Heena, I would just sum it up in a few words.

It is always good when you meet the one whom you know in this virtual world. Few months back I got a chance to meet Sandeep, my big bro! J

This Sunday I woke up wit a lot of excitement. I was going to meet some more members of my virtual family – Kings, Heena, Fl, Thoorz, Arv…

Sadly, Arv could not make it because of other commitments he had. Me, FL, Kings, Thoorz and Heena kept chatting… not even for a second did we realize that we were meeting for the first time. It seemed as if we knew each other since years.

Now I would just want to say a few things to all of you whom I met –

Heena - You rock! I just could not believe that you are just 19!! Your sense of humour just amazes me all the time! J You have an intense persona… very matured and I just loved your company. It was great meeting you and I hope our bond grows real strong!

Kings – Start talking da! I mean… he looks really matured, very focused sort of a person. Thank you for bearing with us throughout the Pizza Hut torture sessions. Lolz!

Thoorika – She has that killing cute smile on her face. She is so polite, so quiet… There is that warmth you feel around this girl. I just love your ‘KHAO’ and ‘CHALO’. The next time we meet I should see you TALKING!!

FL – Do I really have to say anything about you? Don’t you guys know it all? He is a jester, a sweetheart, a wonderful human being with a heart of gold. You rock!

The awesome beach time we enjoyed will be cherished by me always. Thanks to you Mr.Freelancer! :P

Thank you all for making it to the TWL Chennai meet. The feeling that you all have left me with can’t be described… it was wonderful. I love you guys…you are just fantastic

FL speak-

okays...me back again....John had to leave soon....pity arun, arv and dr.kumar coudn't make it. They would have loved the beach...Someone teach heena how to sit in an auto...she keeps falling off. We went to the beach and did some rifle shooting...i was showing off my nearly impossible to learn tricks :P

It was a day to remember.....a day where john nearly turned into a waiter, a day where aarthi nearly became smart....a day when thoorika nearly became Valentino Rossi...a day when Heena nearly became the next P.T Usha after showing off her sprinting skills behind an auto...and a day when i nearly revealed my true identity as BOND :P

Mostly it was a day of the Lounge....a lounge that sprung back to life.....rose like a phoenix from the ashes and now turned into a peacock...

huh? i am going bonkers i guess...too much beach water in my head

IT WAS A DAY WHEN THE LOUNGE WENT BEYOND THE INTERNET

We READ, We WRITE, We definitely LOUNGE

P.S| couldn't get John's and Thoorika's views today....don't mind folks...they would post it in their behalf soon. Moreover Sunday we are going for a movie :P

Kingsley and Gulshan

kings and FL

Gulshan and Artz

Thoorika, Artz and Gulshan

FL and Artz :P

Companon for me is you..

Crushed hopes, dark world, lost ways and killed aspirations

Once, there was a world of such devastations.

Mourning continued, sobbing followed, night kept creeping in

Plight like this, and a girl fastened there in.

And all the miracles of which mortals are aware; seemed false

Nothing worked, all went in despair.

Indeed the only thing she needed was a little love, a little care

Or may be a little stretched hand to support; but

None came, none bothered and she was left alone.

For a while, suddenly the prayers seemed to come true

On a far land, came an angel, as human he grew

Ripping the darkness, steeped in her little world, wiped her tears off

Making an unsaid promise, held her hand and walked short

Entwined fingers, shivering body and a new ray of hope

Inside she was afraid, but knew now she ll cope

She knew, the angel came for her, came to love and trust her

Yes, she knew he came to be a companion of her

Oh, how happy she was, to be loved, to be cared, to be trusted all again

Unending tears followed, but this time, not in vain.

P.S. It's the nearest poem to my heart...something which came so deep from my heart that i almost forgot that it was just a mix of words...:)
P.P.S. It's a repost....from my brand new blog ❤❤~~Mirage~~❤❤ exclusively on poetry and all kinda fiction :)
P.P.P.S. Like always i am again going to say sorry....as soon as may exams ended...office started..:( :( and so i cudn get time to chck WL..:( :( m so sorry..:( :( i ll start commenting and posting again...hopefully mod ll forgv me for that :P

I am back..with a bang :D

PAPERS ARE OVER.

Look at that sentence…it looks incomplete..Yes it surely does…

there should be an “Alhamdulillah” after it…

or may be “finally”…

or may be “pheww”…

or may be a “screaming me”…

but it doesn’t matter..it’s a sentence I wanted to write from ages and ages ago…

or lets be honest…rather let me be honest..a sentence I wanted to write from about a month ago…why??? Because I started studying only a month back…the study u call a CA study…not the usual me reading some case law and remembering those weird names just because they sound…oh so weird…not because they are part of my examination syllabus (hell it’s such a horrible word!!!)

Whatever that sentence is peaceful…very peaceful..Alhamdullillah….

I want to write so many things..

want to tell so many things….

have started hating so many things….

have started loving so many things...

have so many people to blame…

have sooooooooo many people to thanks…

but I am lost…I mean am at a loss of words..Or may be am lost…whichever is true..I hardly care….the point is there are so many things in my mind that I am not able to comprehend them properly.. It feels like that auditing and costing exam.. Everything in my mind and me at a loss of word…or was I lost??? but now i don’t want to comprehend them….why…?? Because I am happy being like this…

Anyways..what am I doing…TALKING STUDIES ON BLOG ….oh God pls…no one …no one among you people is gonna tell me that I have changed….yes I know that’s true..but let’s keep it like “it’s for the good…”

Ok so the main point..exams are over..and my keyboard will be going under severe torcher….:D :D and may be even you guys :P…I have so much to write..but for the sake of this post let’s keep it till exams…

The good thing : they are over…ALHAMDULILLAH

The bad thing: i have screwed half of them…that amount to 3 outta 6 (what math :D)

The good thing: I realize now what Jaimy and Tarun were doing…when they were looking in the books…they weren’t murmuring..oh sure they weren’t….

The Bad thing: I was murmuring and dreaming while doing so :(

The good thing: I learnt the correct definition of the word “HARDWORK”

The bad thing: I feel I have to refresh my memory over the word “LUCK” (it has to be wid me ..has to)

The good thing: I know what FRIENDS mean..i mean all of them..Mom (yes I know I wrote friends) Lian, Angel, Ram, Fatin, Dhir, Shailu, Shanu,….i get emo when I think of u guys ..i mean…

mom thanks for tolerating my extreme behavior…

Lian, Angel..thanks for getting up in the middle of night and encouraging me with the most loving, caring and zealous words..

Ram..Thanks for being in touch..

Fatin..for the miss calls in morning :) it meant a lot….

Dhir..Oh dear I can’t list down how you supported me in my al sudden mood swings…

Shailu…for constantly reminding me that there someone whom I always tend to forget but he does remember :)…

and Finally Shanu..thanks for fighting, scolding, loving , caring, tolerating, encouraging me every time..It showed your care…even when you behaved in those inhumane ways..:P and even in all your gentleman-ness

There are a lot more ppl I missed…I know..i am sorry ppl…blame it on my poor memory over stuffed with those matter written in Arial, 10, black on CA books.

The Bad thing: I wasn’t being in touch..:( I am sorry….and I was being immature and extreme and emo..i am sorry again ….:(

The good thing: I came closer to my extremism

The bad thing: I still think it wasn’t me

The good thing: I have doubled my faith in GOD…and yes it’s because of the exams

The bad thing: I still sin a lot :(

Ahggg…it’s never ending….basically exams alone did a lot of change in me and my life..Besides the BIG BIG changes already happening in my life sans the effect of exams..I know I won’t be able to come at par with the expectations of people around me, this time…but believe me I tried…I miscalculated and then I failed…I am sorry..but I ll do it…if it goes wrong again…and that won’t let you ppl down…

WHAT AM I THINKING…the result aren’t out…that means I STILL HAVE TIME..and Inshaallah I ll pass…:) Don’t you remember ALLAH is all merciful and that God helps those who help themselves…hell…again I am thinking two contrasting statements at the same time :(..Isn’t this insecurity..nah..let’s say it’s the devil’s work..It’s so easy to do that :P..plus it improves your belief on GOD..YAY!!

So anyways…results aren’t out…and it ll take time…till then…aap main aur WL :P

The intro of Moi :D

Assallam Aliekum (Peace be upon all)

I am known as Heena in the real and formal world; full name Heena Kausher Ansari, but in the virtual world and the world of those closely related to me call me Gul, Gulshan and then their creativity flows to the limit unimaginable. I don’t mind either of them.

I lived a blessed life of full 19 yrs and 6 days on this wonderful and marvelous earth. God has somehow always been kind to me. And my belief on Him just strengthens with every passing second. No, I am not a religious kind of person; in fact I started getting a little spiritual only a few months back. The right thing exactly at the right time happened to me. :)



My interest hovers on variety of topics; nation, politics, literature, science, people, religion, mythology, logics, random, and you can go on naming them. I am unpredictable even to myself. I fail to understand my emotion so much that at times strangers get me better than I can. But this thing doesn’t let me go down. I feel it’s the search for peace within me. And I get closer to my goal the more I get lost this way. After all to find the way you ought to get lost (abridged from to run you need to walk :D :P).

I try out every new thing I can and also which I can’t. My loved ones caption me as too experimenting and somehow I love the caption. :) I get deviated very fast. I may be speaking on something nd in an instant I ll change the topic. This is not how I get lost; this is something which once a friend told me happens because I have numerous of thought running in my mind and want to vomit them all, but have no control on them. I am learning. It helps and I love to learn.

But I hate studies. For the sake of formality I ll let you know I am studying CA. II have my exams due in June and I am here ;). And I belong to UP, never lived there; I have the extremely blessed fate of traveling and residing with people who take pledge to guard the nation :). Ya, I am patriotic too. A little too much. You dare not to stand when the National anthem goes on, and you are dead. Mind you.

I know I had to write not because I was born with any silver, gold, diamond pen but because I always knew my words on paper are a more of a mirror to my heart than the tears in my eyes. They always defined me, somehow completed me, they are the walking stick in old age, the oxygen which I breath, the cloak which covers me, they are my life.

The sand is running down the sand box। I have no time, literally. I don’t know much about me. It’s anyways something for others to know. So I ll stop myself *wondering who is gonna have the patience to read it full* :/.

My personal Blog : ☆☆~~My Innocent Paradise~~☆☆


P.S. I am so sorry not to comment on any post and come up wid my own post॥but i so much wanted to be in this intro league nd as soon as i get free i ll comment on the post too..mods,admins,owners pardon me for this pls..


P.P.S.nothing special about the pic..that's me in the real life :)

A Quick Hi !

hey guys...

this is a quick post..a very quick one..i have been so outta lounge that i ll hardly believe if some of you still rem'ber me ..hehehehehe....

anyways.. i am hell busy...but i do keep visiting lounge..a comment here and there...or may be no comments...but i do read...proof??

i know Princess shonshu writes like a 14 yr old...but is extremely good and her Smile school is too good :)

i know freelancer who studies in Satyabhama..God even ma bro knows about him :P

i know Kajal is MoM..well she was supposed to..a regular lounger and a darling...who else can be at par wid her..

i don't think the LoL results are announced..

i know its Mohita's b'day...Happy b'day dearie...though i don't know u....but have an image of you as a sweet gal :)

i know Prats is back..and though she was at home..she managed a few post...once some other person posted on behalf of her..Oh god lounge is so non-experiment-poetic w/out her :D :D

i know Illusion is a sweet gal...happened to talk to her :)

and i know a lot of stuff...and a LOT i missed...above all i miss u guys :( :( :(

y am i here??? 4 ds quick post and to give u all guys a look at what i had on ma b'day...it was pretty boring..considering all frnds are locked up in their room and i was at home..still ma bro managed a few stuff and we family of 5 enjoyed...have a look....

Not much stuff huh??

well half of the things mom prepared...and ppl ate as soon as it was served...so cudn get the original pic of lot of things :(

anyways hope u enjoyed our small gathering.. :)

P.S. i know its so mean of me to come here and write just about my b'day :( but so solly..cant help it..i ll b back in full form soon inshaallah... :)