All this while ... and for What !

She protected herself from that

She had heard but she never tried

She believed that

'To try the doomed is to become an evil'

All this while 

she guarded the integrity

KEEPING IT SAFE 

by displaying animosity

Pure as anyone could be

Senile as anything could be

Escaping the stains while walking in the dark streets

She managed to remain spotless above all

But

All this while and for what

She asks herself now

She fell and fell so hard 

that scattered pieces are now hard for her to find

She sits and weeps

and continuously asks only one thing

All this while ... and for what !!

Till death do us part !

I hear your cries

Yes, I do

I see the pain and suffering

It makes me restless to see you faint like this

But I won't let you die!

I am gonna be there for you

For you have been my sole friend in this lone journey of sad life

You let me by myself

with no fear of being ignored, misjudged and ill-treated

So how can I let you die alone

You are gonna revive!

That's a promise.

Till death do us part !

I Can't Speak .

 I still miss you

your adorable pearl like eyes

Staring at me.

I still miss you,

your serene smile,

Making up my every violet day.

I wish you were here with me today

But I can’t make my parents understand this

Not because that they won't listen to

But because

I Can’t Speak.

           

I still miss you,

You lying on the bed besides me

I still miss you,

Your actions completing my day

I miss you more and more everyday

But I can't make my friends understand this

Not because they won't understand

but because

I Can't Speak.

I still miss
the velvety touch of your hands
Me kissing you,
And you relishing it .
The cozy warmth
of taking you in my arms.
Immense  joy in feeding ,                    
 All that you want.
Dressing you up                                
Like a precious jewel of my life.
I am now simply

Thinking about you all the time.  

But I can’t make
anyone in this world see my agony
not because
that they cant
feel,see,                                          
sense or understand it
but because
I Can’t Speak..

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Memoirs

The morning.

The yearning.

The futile attempts at conjuring some fatal elusive respite.

The trepidation.

Light fades.

It's evening.

And then, it repeats, in the reverse order.

- Sayak

More than You will Ever Know

Credit: Flickr

I watch upon my creek of hollow mirth,

Melancholy looms and swallows day.
Silence seeps into my soul and resonates.
Bestial hands leap from the bushes—
Less a pain than your cold passing;

Yonder holds much more an ache,
Folded deep within your hands—
Truly, I love you. Did you hear me?

***

Posted: here

A call to the Lucifer..

A call to the Lucifer...

Death was approaching near,
I still had no fear...
I wanted to get in the molten state,
But to my bad luck,the Lucifer got late...

I wanted to end up my life,
With this intention i took a knife..
I tore my wrist and saw my blood,
And soon I got surrounded by a red flood...

I was about to die,
I laid down and looked at the sky...
I went near and hugged my fate,
But to my bad luck,the Lucifer got late...

I survived yet again,
To bear all the pain...
I licked the diamond in my ring,
And waited for the devils to sing...

This time The Lucifer arrived,
And told me why i always survived...
He said,"U know why i am always late?"
Coz your name is certainly not on my slate...

I have no right to take u to hell,
Cause' you still have many good deeds to smell...
You have a very powerful and heavy soul,
Cause' for you humanity was always a goal...

I realised I still had many years to spare,
Of love, affection and atmost care...
I looked up and showed him The Middle Finger,
He went away With his eyes submerged in hunger..

Fear

Image via Wikipedia

I sit in the darkness of daylight,
a shadow on the wall

seeking colors while lingering in grays.
No one is here but silent enemies,
malice and doom,
fear mongers whistling away the day.
Outside, green glistens beneath a sky so blue

it hurts my eyes.

In the old days, a step into sunlight and warm

smiles muffled the mindless ramblings of gloom
before he could warn of murkiness ahead
fraught with dread and isolation.

I did not see it then.
Darkness hiding, waiting for a moment when
my tears would dampen the ground beneath my feet.

No, I did not see it then.

Instinct left without checking in.

It was unfortunate, a result of a windy day.
I lost my grip on a weightless wish that floated away.
I could not save it or the spirit that once lived
in the folds of a new day.
Just a window framing sky is all that remains.

Life to death..Death to life..

"A birth from the ashes..
I was on this land..
I saw the four reasons..
I was living on the sand.."..

I lived my life..
Now it's time to die..
Slashed my wrist with a knife..
I look at the sky..
It's my last moment..
I saw the bible on the shelf..
I lied numb and still..
As my life started reversing itself..
Life was slipping away from my claw..
Black and white as i saw..

"I was living on the sand..
I saw the four seasons..
I was on this land..
A birth from the ashes.."..

"Again.."