A rainy confession

'19^th January 2008

One night of the year where you are allowed to do whatever you want is your birthday night. You have the right to party late, scream out loud with your friends, celebrate with music. Specially when you are a little young and a little not so young, I mean you are somewhere in between. You got me right, I was talking about late teenage years. Teenage parties, one of those liberation spots where at the end of the night, spontaneously you emerge as who you are. It is at those nights when you make the choices which decide the person you would grow up to be someday. It is here when people take a first shot of smoke or drink and eventually evolve as an addict someday, and it is here when at times people make judicious checks on desires and eventually realize later that being uncool was not so uncool.

Pind Baluchi, Louge and Restaurant, South Delhi.

I am Tarun, currently working in ericsson as a telecom engineer. This is my story. I take you back two and a half years in time, that strange january night, when it rained and I actually drenched in it.

“Have you come all the way from your boring engineering college life in Kanpur to Delhi for this? I mean come on yaar, It is your birthday?” Anubhati said, making a fussy annoyed face, as her two hairlets fell on her specs. Anubhati, 20 was an intern journalist in a leading tabloid. She was a year elder to me,my closest childhood friend from the hometown. We grew up together as best pals. For past three years, she had been studying journalism in Delhi University.

“and that too the very last one in a sense” Richard laughed, Anu’s boyfriend and a senior executive at her office.

“as in what sense?” I asked a little shaky, with the whisky peg still gripped in my hand.

“You know what they say at our place in Australia, it is till 19 that u can try in life, the rest of the life is spent in expertising the things that u tried till 19” his smile was assuring and so was his pat on the back. So go ahead and try it again, This time with friends might never come back”

Roars exclaimed around my birthday cake, as I gulped down the fourth neat peg of the night. It was like hammers thrown in my head, but I could hear music a little louder so it was kinda cool. Emily and Armaan, two other common friends decided that it was enough for the day. They stood up, hugged me and left. We waited for Neha,Anu’s younger sister, she was in the washroom coughing and vomitting the hangover. She was 18. Both Anu and Neha are like, the most desirable looking girls absolutely stunning. I discovered that night, four pegs down you can’t differentiate between the two, they look so similar.

It was raining when we came out. Anubhati and Richard went ahead and started singing happy birthday in the rain, they danced a little and then smooched each other. Anu hugged me a good bye, and told me to come again soon and give regards to all at home. Richard shook hand with me and asked me “am I drunk?” I smiled back and said “Nobody gets drunk on his birthday even if one drink a whole bottle, I have only tried four pegs” He smiled back and said “That’s the spirit”.

“by the time we would meet again, I shall be a man of greater capacity then u all”

“Yo!” they both shouted and took an auto rickshaw to their place, I could see them undressing each other at the back seat from a distance. The music was still playing in my head, I continued to stand there and let water droplets fall on my head. It pained a little and I felt sleepy.

Neha told me that it is late and I should drop her home too and proceed to my hotel. She also told me that I am drunk, on which I moved my head in disagreement. We both sat in the auto and I remember sleeping in middle of the journey. She told me midway that her boy friend is so bad to her and what not. May be the vomit had made her sober again. She sounded sad and depressed. The auto stopped and we walked in her lane. There was no sound, except that of falling water when she came closer to my ear and whispered “Make love to me”, I was like “What?”.

She started kissing my neck and I pushed her back. I slapped her and told her that she is like a sister to me. She started crying and apologized that she is a little drunk and something else about her messy life that I can’t recall. She again held my hand and we continued walking in the rain. This was strange. We walked to a place where a few steps away I could see a police jeep standing. She came closer to me again and said “Make love to me or else I shall shout that you are trying to rape me” I was numb, rubbed my eyes again trying to figure out if she is crying or is it the rain. I could see her face clearer now, her eyes were mean and she was not crying. She was not even Neha infact, She was Anubhati.

Word Count - 654