October 11, 2009

understanding family and love...

Family and Love don't necessarily go vis-a-vis .I mean both are completely different.A Family is associated with you since the day you stepped on to this world.Likewise Love is something that you get during later stages of life,but I'm sure that it cannot be compared to your family. I've been highlighting the importance of your family many times when I write such posts.Because your family is the one who serves as your support structure.Here I want to distinguish family and Love.When you fall in love with someone,you don't tend to inform your family members.Trust me since I am from India my observation may not be the same.My Indian buddies have shared many such facts with me and I've my closed friends too.Thus there might be a case where your family might come to know about your secret.This might at times turn into a disaster.Well most of my Americans and European friends here may find this strange .This is because Indian culture is different and here importance is given to family and culture.Over the period of time this attitude has changed.Thanks to Western influence.

A family is a place where you find like minded people who support and encourage you.They motivate you and provide you with all that you need at an early age.Parents play a pivotal role in this so called "life" of yours.I have my mom whom I treat as my best friend.I confess all my secrets to her and share things happening around me.This is because she trusts me.Allparents trust their beloved kids.I've been highlighting this trust factor since few days.Trust is something in which the person believes your honesty and reliability.How would you tend to hurt your parents by breaking their trust on you.This disappointment would naturally cause side effects in form of health hazards. In this para we've been talking about family.If you love your family,then you won't hurt them.Similarly you can't hurt someone who loves you.Here I am not talking about your family.He/She believes you.For some reasons ,I feel that I've been inducing things which are meant for Indians.Excuse me.Let me relate this with a real life example.I had this friend called E(name changed).E was known for his genuine characteristics.He helped people and he was imbued with great qualities.His parents were proud of him for the same reason.My mom would always ask me to treat him as an idol.Even I used to be proud of him as I knew him since childhood.
His parents never cared for him.By this I mean that they just don't sit and talk to him.So he used to feel isolated sometimes.Recently he got a new person in his life.He was dating her for past 1 year.His parents came to know this and were sad.There is no point in getting sad at this point.Because it is late and you don't know what to do at this point of time.Right approach would be to sit and talk.Talking and Sharing views can bring some solutions.Parents should keep a track on their childrens activities.Not doing this would cause unlikely events.

You love your family as well as your special one.Butsometimes what will happen if your family knows about your Miss/Mr Special.Worst case scenario would be that they would dump her.Why would you wait for all such things to happen?Why don't you tell your parents before hand ? This can be advantageous for you and you will not have the fear of losing your special one.At sometime when you spill the bean at the last minutes ,then wait and watch for the effects. Thus I would prefer informing your family about this.In some families,siblings serve as a pillar in bonding such relationship when parents fail.This won't happens everytime.It is an exception.I sometimes find my observations funny.Family and your love life is like a see saw.There should be some balance between the two.On other hand some sort of Equillibrium must be maintained between family and love.Both are directly proportional to each other.This may be contradictory to what I wrote at the first line. If there is no equillibrium between the two, then at some stage you will arrive at a point where you have to sacrifice one.Both are important part of our life and we won't wish to dump any of these . Thus ,the perfect solution would be to talk to both of them. Make them understand everything.Arrive at a solution.It is like a WIN WIN case.Make sure that both the parties are happy. Many love stories have come to an end abruptly because of lack of support from family.Also many times love has bloomed because of support from family .Be happy and Live life at the fullest. This is the only way to remain happy and gay(I mean Merry ,not the other gay ) :P

1 comment:

  1. i am punjabi and married my boyfriend who is a south indian.
    i told my family from day 1.

    i used to stay in india at that time.

    i feel i was just stupidly lucky.
    i am in my 30s.
    Most of love affairs collapsed(disastrously) or ended in divorces later.

    it is very diificult to convert love affair into marriage if different caste/race/relgion is involved.

    from my experience...Arrange Marriage...still rules..

    this is just my observation.


    your 'retweet' tweetmeme does not work..i tweeted this article..but will not show..


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