Strings are loosing out
The connection is gone
It was supposed to be forever
But couldn't last long
Nothing is wrong
But nothing is even right
Forget about the future
Even present is not bright
When more than pleasure
Something holds you back
Its better to give it up
To come back to track
Yeah..its not easy
To give up and move on
Just sounds impossible
But have to go on
Whats the point of holding
To something which is dead
Whats the point of doing efforts
When someone doesn't wish to go ahead
Nothing can survive
If its not from the hear
tWhen relations go sour
They need a brand new start
Memories will always be cherished
Even if they were just for a while
And now I let you go
Let you go with a smile....
hey charu....good one. The tone keeps switching which makes it quite a pleasant read. Gud flow as well. U build it up gradually. One small thing...whats the point of doing efforts....wont whats the point in making efforts be more apt charu?
ReplyDeleteN plz comment on other posts including mine to make this lounge useful for all. As a member u shud comment on every post besides posting. Plz do!
the first verse was nice, the third didnt sound good to me!
ReplyDeletefourth, fifth, fine!
sixth, maybe in the second line you wanted to say, If its not from the heart.
I understand it was a typo :)
relationships doesnt always need a brand new start, reminds me of Kate Winslet's song of my childhood.
'what If I had never let you go
will you be the man I used to know!
if i stayed, If you tried
If we could only turn back time...'
the last two lines were better, classical :)
yes, I will also second sandeep. It will be great if you also participale actively in the lounge :) comment other posts too.. I'll be honored to read your say :)
i loved it but i felt some sort of negative feeling towards later part...espexially last 3 or 4 stanza's
ReplyDeletehey dats a realy nice one... " n now i let u go, let u go wid a smile..."... lovely line... loved readin ur poem .. keep writin gal!!!
ReplyDelete