Don't you sometimes feel that you're doing everything to make others happy but they're only more upset with you? I have felt that very very recently! I smile to make others smile. I crack jokes to make others feel good about themselves. I even sing when they're low! And I am not doing it for strangers..am doing it for those for whom I care. I console them when they cry, then why today when I am crying, none of them showed up? Why does time always plays around with me?
The moment I cry, everyone makes a face and goes. I do not expect them to come and console me. But at least they should not make a joke out of it. Why is it that the people closest to me fail to understand the reasons of my sorrow? Why is it that the only ones who ever understood me have gone away forever? They would not let me be alone with myself. Neither would they understand me. They would not even make an effort to understand!
I then decided that I will never cry in front of anyone! Anyone..means everyone!! Its better to cry and weep off alone than watching your tears getting wasted in front of those who never cared for them. And I actually thought that I had some "understanding" people around me! Why am I the only one to suffer all this? I had never done anyone any wrong. Then, why is God so mean to me? Why can't He just let me live a normal life? A life like evryone else's. I don't want to be different anymore!
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I tried to find an answer for years,
ReplyDeleteNow i am learning to live with this truth.Stop expecting.
Care for people,but never expect anything in return.
You have lot of time.
Try to face the truth.I have run away from it a long time, with lot of optimism,but gained nothing.
Either stop caring for ppl
or stop expecting anything from them.
i once wrote somewhere," when it came to sharing of sorrows,i found everyone busy in their own lives"
ReplyDeletethe whole blog of you is an explanation to this phrase .
never seek expectations from others for it only would lead you to melancholy of yoour soul and regrets of favours you'd made before!
@ Tsshar
ReplyDeleteyou're right..I cannot stop caring for people but from now I would not expect anything in return...
i have time and I'll learn it...
Thanks
@ Uz
Thanks! I will have to stop expecting..even from those who i know would be there...but as you said I don't want to lead myself to a melancholy life...
Yes! you have to expect less.
ReplyDeleteANd missy, God is Not mean :) He has given you a previliged mind, why would anyone want to leave her 'extra-ordinary-nism' and want to be 'normal' like others? han??
remember sweet, everyone is alone at the top. the first position is owned by only one person :)