tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-878684769651514469.post4647348843103406431..comments2023-11-03T18:40:49.451+05:30Comments on The Writers Lounge: Andhera (Darkness)Sandeep Balanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09497006740037526922noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-878684769651514469.post-39502918010481874582009-03-16T17:03:00.000+05:302009-03-16T17:03:00.000+05:30My very personal comment: I'd rather want to read ...My very personal comment: I'd rather want to read you in english.<BR/><BR/>Pink's suggestion is worth considering, but its still your poem and you are the one to decide what to do with it.<BR/><BR/>repeats: I will still want to read you in english :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-878684769651514469.post-61280144913443940902009-03-15T14:20:00.000+05:302009-03-15T14:20:00.000+05:30i guess last two lines need a bit more polish .. l...i guess last two lines need a bit more polish .. loved the poem neway !!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-878684769651514469.post-79742304175932068662009-03-14T22:51:00.000+05:302009-03-14T22:51:00.000+05:30hey u know wht...i liked the hindi one betterthe e...hey u know wht...i liked the hindi one better<BR/><BR/><BR/>the english one's gr8 tooAparna (Life Takes)https://www.blogger.com/profile/10317107449181119426noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-878684769651514469.post-30064397107883999872009-03-14T17:55:00.000+05:302009-03-14T17:55:00.000+05:30its nice!its nice!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-878684769651514469.post-14841066385634667552009-03-14T17:38:00.001+05:302009-03-14T17:38:00.001+05:30@ adi.. good translation !! lol...@ adi.. good translation !! lol...Monahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13315716648905142443noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-878684769651514469.post-74326678394152292332009-03-14T17:38:00.000+05:302009-03-14T17:38:00.000+05:30@ adi... really good for a first attempt...!!! i l...@ adi... really good for a first attempt...!!! i loved the last line... ! keep writing... cheers!!!Monahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13315716648905142443noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-878684769651514469.post-53421845271842082782009-03-14T07:55:00.000+05:302009-03-14T07:55:00.000+05:30Sab raahon ka ant ho gayaab tak gum wo savera hais...Sab raahon ka ant ho gaya<BR/>ab tak gum wo savera hai<BR/>socha tha raahon me roshni to hogi<BR/>aur yahaan manzil par bhi andhera hai.<BR/> <BR/>8instead of the last line -<BR/>pur yahaan to manzil par bhi chhaya andhera hai.<BR/><BR/><BR/>I loved the flow and the thought Adi.. doesn't look like the first attempt. Suggested a change for the last line, coz as a master of english poetry you very well know that the last lines of the poem should hit the reader hard, especially if its a sad one.<BR/><BR/>I hope I didnt over do it.. but I loved it.. and for a poet there is no term called 'last attempt' :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-878684769651514469.post-45655917930718206072009-03-14T07:29:00.000+05:302009-03-14T07:29:00.000+05:30nothin abt good or bad, keep writing, though i can...nothin abt good or bad, keep writing, though i cant do justice to hindi poetry, practice will definitely bring in de best keep writing, english poetry was really good.Kings Chaoshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09428021846428512346noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-878684769651514469.post-82877325396961629582009-03-14T06:45:00.000+05:302009-03-14T06:45:00.000+05:30Good one Adi(i guess dats ur name...i picked it up...Good one Adi(i guess dats ur name...i picked it up frm sum members of the lounge)! Was rilly good! <BR/> It doesnt seem like a first attempt! Offcourse, there's alway room for improvement, but still continue writing, nd dey would become more and more wonderful with each passing day! <BR/> And this comes from a person whose just written 1 hindi poem till date! So dat makes 2 of us in the first-timers club! cheers! :)Maverickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11442002151797497705noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-878684769651514469.post-67463194841633497322009-03-14T00:24:00.000+05:302009-03-14T00:24:00.000+05:30Nice one.. and please continue to practice, some d...Nice one.. and please continue to practice, some diversification is always needed.Karmasurahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01593320349146292650noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-878684769651514469.post-9833805932700109142009-03-13T23:48:00.000+05:302009-03-13T23:48:00.000+05:30nice onebt i think it could be betternice one<BR/>bt i think it could be betterAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com