August 4, 2009

SEX, LIES AND VIDEOTAPES..!!!!



Today was the day when I watched this MMS scandal that originated from my friends college. Well it was an MMS involving a girl and guy aftermath of their lust sessions ( as I would like to call it..!), and honestly it surprised me to see the girl being videotaped by her ‘then’ boyfriend which is now being made into an MMS and this spread around like a wild fire never to be ceased. And with clear cut facts the girl was being convinced by the guy to give him a blowjob.
With Indian standards and taboo following sex , lies and videotapes...i mean litrally , it got me wondering how the girl would face the wrath of the society? How is she going to walk around the college campus with her head held high when half the crowd in the college ‘got off’ on that clip? And how is she going to explain the ‘act’ to people in this already over exerting society where sex is still a hush-hush.?
I honestly thought that watching the clip was degrading thing to do..atleast from my side. I agree that more degraded act was from her ‘then’ boyfriend who passed around the clip to every known soul to him. But personally being a woman I pittied the girl in the video that resides in my cell phone. I could honestly hear every guy calling her a SLUT..!!
And I don’t even want to get started on what the girls had had their say in this topic..I guess its easy take pleasure in someones cause of misery.
I have never got around to think what exactly this word “slut” implicates, never actually understood what it meant.. Isnt the littral meaning of this word “slut” say “A promiscuous woman who likes excess of sex.?
It sure is the exact meaning but as far as the videotape was concerned the girl in it was not promiscuous or neither was into excess of sex ( I think) . The way I see it she was just having an intimate moment with her boyfriend at that instant of time.. I wonder what was wrong with it ?Or whats wrong with woman liking for sex.? I mean I have heard it munrous timesthat its against our Indian “culture” and the society doesn’t approve of it for the risks involved in it. But what with condoms and safe methods implemented which ward of STD’s.?
So there, sex becomes a individual decision and own personal choice. Anybody giving opinion against this is his own opinion which is not really going to make any difference. So coming back to the videotape,what I got to notice, repeatedly was, the girl being blamed for every act in which TWO individuals were involved. What about the man involved..why does he have toget get away with this? Wasn’t he supposed to have an equal part to play in the video? If I had it my way or knew either of them personally I would have atleast raised my voice against the men kind. The videotape,unfortunately, managed to reach the college authorites and higher end people who thought the tape was outrageous and ‘indecent’. They ended up rusticating both the guy and the girl involved and debarring them from college stating that they were a “bad influence”. And the last I heard was the tape being shown to the parents of the girl which according to them was horrifiying. Aftermath the girl moved away from the city and the guy headed back to Delhi from where he hailed.
Coming back to the main root of this problem : “the way society see it”.
Keeping the facts in mind, we know that youth of today are much more liberated and opinionated. And the population of three-fourth, that indulges in sexual acts are youths aged between 14 -20 year olds. Youth of today know that there is nothing here that is stopping them and boldly “sleep around” as it is said. But also there is this larger section of youth who aren’t as well informed on sex and we can probably blame it on lack of awareness and conservative thoughts of older generation. The much needed sexual education lacks that teenagers look forward to is made ‘unnecessary’ subject in schools and colleges. What the older generation needs to understand and do is arm their kids and the future generation with better knowledge and know-hows. Sex is spiritual and emotional and should be thought from home itself. We cannot turn a blind eye and deaf ears to the fact that gen-x teens are sexually active and will indulge in it for loads of factors that drive them to it. And the even worst part of it, some families inculcate that sex is bad and evil when hypocrisy breaks through in the form of pleasure in their own bedrooms. And if you want your child raised in the right way then communication is the key. I would urge parents to talk to their kids and connect with them. Listen and be supportive to them when they are in any problem or are in any kind of doubts. After all teenagers life is a little stressful and challenging. You could breakthrough that notion and make teenage the best part of their life. And as a parent you are the best to understand what your child wants.
As of where the society is concerned they should act a little more responsibly and reason out some doubts in their own minds. They have to understand that its not the girl who has to be blamed for all the time. Men are considered promiscuous throughout ages and its perfectly okay for a man to stray out of his boundaries. And woman are condemned for eternity for the same? Is that the value and tradition we re so proud of.? What with woman being liberated in this day and age where she can earn a livelihood and manage a home as well. Woman today have their own rights and own demands. I think the society should invest its time on better cause like eradicating dowry and helping rape and sexual harassment victims. Or we should call ourselves hypocrites as we worship goddess in the form of woman. We call our country our “mother” land and still we inflict evils on the fairer sex. We maim and torture them and take away their choice of life and their decision with life and marriage. Ah.! With all the gender bias in the country education an awareness on woman’s rights and her choice for sex and relationship is so needed.
And as for the word ’slut’ its highly inappropriate for any woman to be tagged that just because she likes her sexuality and is ready to flaunt it. Where man and woman stand on the same platform with same amount of capabilities and skills , a man can also be called a slut. I guess we re so used to the fact that men are designed to be promiscous and think that way.
This is a very interesting fact I came across that men, think about sex every 15 seconds..!
I mean this fact shocked me and got me disgusted as well that if woman possessed that amount of sexuality she is turned around and called as a ”slut” where in we have men who are standard sluts themselves. There is still so much restrictions that hold woman back that any signs of affliction imposed on her by a man is stated as her “upper hand” in this matter which is degrading and biasing.
By this I don’t mean any offence to the men section. Personally I know men who are okay with woman being a liberated self and respect their decisions. But sadly there is a large part of the men community who degrade and suppress woman in many different and numerous ways. And we are the individuals and WE constitute the society in making. So for the change to set in we need to change ourselves and be more considerate towards woman in this already over contemplated society.
And going back to the sex , lies and videotapes somethings are better kept in the bed room and only there. We should stop misusing that intimate moment u shared and stop degrading womankind with their weakness. And also woman should be a little more careful with use of videotapes in bedroom . I mean honestly you don’t need anybody to videotape you when u have a feeling of a lifetime pleasure…that is considered as an emotional journey for a woman., do you?

12 comments:

  1. dear, if we think of sex every 15 seconds, i would have a hard on all day long. trust me that could be painful at the end of the day... God! where do you get these facts?

    Secondly about the mms clip I totally agree with u. Lots of things are still taboo. well written

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  2. @ Rush_me,

    Well well... lot of feminist views over there!! At many points, I do agree with you... women being named 'sluts'...etc etc. But, there is one thing that I would not agree with! In the post, you have generalized the menfolk..Everyone-is-like-that types! However, I don't feel that is not the right thing to do! :) *No offence meant*

    Otherwise, coming to the MMS scandals and stuff... ummm...its really sad!! The weaker sex (as many people call us, which I hate), we need to take care of things! :)

    Well written! Quite revolutionary! :)

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  3. I totally disagree. No one can call you a slut unless you are allowed to be. And ahaan, in this mms scandal, the girl is stupid, if she is mature enough to experience sex , she should be sensible enough to decide whom to have with. Not just any other cheapstake, who would mms-clip her.

    Its rather the stupidity of the girl. Why blame the poor guy? He didn't physically violate her to do so.

    And, yup, one piece of info for you, women have lust 10,000 times more as compared to men. Now , that's an honest biologically proved fact !!

    .....

    Ilashree Goswami

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  4. just to add to the biologically proven fact... lust is not quantifiable so it seems to be calculated by the time taken to reach orgasm..which for women is higher..

    dunno its good or bad :)

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  5. @ilasree yes it was stupid on the part of the girl...but that doesnt exonerate the guy...I think that is what the blog is talking about...that it takes two to tango, then why blame only one of them...but then I guess thats the way of our so called society...the reason why most of these people say such degrading things is that secretly unknown even to them, this is exactly how they would behave in similar circumstances...and most of us dont like to look into a mirror

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  6. god knows tujhe yeh controversial posts kaha se milte hai...
    main bolta hu....mms dekho, khush raho :P

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  7. @ Illashree and Arthi..

    see I did not say anything against men. I love men too much..I was talking about what the society here thinks and how it ahs treated woman..

    Agree with me or not...Humans are a hypocritic race..and Indians even more.
    There is no question of offence..I mean a man is defnitely decent as long as he doesnt speak his mind out and every fucking thought that comes into their mind..:-P
    And I so dont want to think what men think.!
    And men here cant disagree with me..I mean whoever reading this might a really nice..But that doesnt change the basic fact that men look for basic instincts with sex being on the list.
    Not that i am disgusted with that fact..But i understand thats how men are designed..
    and plus..If i really wnated to genralise theem and call them names and condemn them..well i would be condemning my father brother and my best friends ( who ahppened to be men as well)
    so please dont get the wrong idea.

    And one person here got the whole write up right is our dear friend CIlla...!

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  8. And i did mention at the end of my write up that the girl should be very careful with use of cams and video being taken..! So yes i agree that the girl was stupid as well..but at the end of the day..Its only the girl who is holded responsible..
    And the guy just walks free...with the next victim on his mind..

    @ FL..haanji..!
    MMS dekho aur aish karo..
    that did mean..this topic did not really influence you or...you might have not read it..coz its a little to long..!
    Awwwww..:-P I have my contempts for you..!

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  9. @ Abrajit/h
    ?lust is not quantifiable so it seems to be calculated by the time taken to reach orgasm..which for women is higher../????

    dont ya think every woman is different..? so are men..so it depends on men for how fast can she orgasm..
    waise tum point se hatt rahe ho..! this is abt MMs clips and societal thinking..not Mens health magazine suggesting sex tips..or giving ya sex facts..!
    Which by the way is interesting..! :-P

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  10. I dnt know what to say .. escept that Indian society does need to grow up soon if we need gals to be treated an equal human and not just an object of lust most times !

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  11. Well I don't know about India,but at my place I haven't heard about it as my basis for food is farming and we were devoid of things happening in cities. Get to see it through TV news.Good that you wrote ,it serves as an insight to people and did you watch it too :D

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  12. Rush_me, the name is Ilashree, and NOT Illashree.

    Nevertheless, I did get what your post is all about. But if such things are happening, though me being a girl, I'd blame the girl.

    Its simple, she is stupid. That's all.

    And about the guy, its cool if he's all ready and calmly eyeing for his next victim. If he is smart, why shouldn't he.

    If the girl is smart, she should sue, him.

    I wouldn't like to drag morality and senses of 'mercy-me' girl's honour and dignity. You choose a path, and you have to deal with the winds and the storms.

    She chose to be filmed, so she HAS to deal with all this. If she is smart, she should pull the guy a and drag him to court.


    **PEACE**

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