Smile

auburn mist of ascending sun
Yonder on the soaring peak
creeps swiftly over the cliff
and spreads softly
upon the dewy grass
obliterating darkness
eliminating the gloomy thoughts
that have crawled to my mind
gazing in reverie
into the blue distances
and to the endless crimson horizon
being covered by the gleeful mentle
I smile atlast


.a.
May 05

He Cried...

I sat beside him on the couch, our hands inches apart from each other. I desperately wanted to take my hand just a little bit closer and just touch his hand with the tip of my fingers. But it stayed just where it had been. Despite being so close, I felt miles away from him.

The air conditioner was on but I felt a weird warm feeling inside. She looked at me. Her eyes were like two brown pools of sadness. I knew she wanted to touch me, stroke my hand, and caress my cheek with the back of her palm, just anything to feel my closeness. I looked away.

He avoided my gaze and looked away. He then leaned back and gave a sigh that felt like an explosion in the silence.

“What do you want?” I asked softly and finally looked at her. I really looked at her this time. Her eyes were wide with pain and tears were rolling down her cheeks. She put her hand over mine as if seeking comfort from the feel of my skin.

“I want what you once wanted but can’t give me now, or you won’t.” I sighed.

She sighed, strangely composed like the calm before a storm and held up her hands helplessly in a gesture.

“Do you really want to what I want? I want to wake up every morning beside you. I want to lie beside you at night and watch you sleep, your face next to mine. I want you to come home to me everyday, sit down to supper together and talk about our days. Then I want to follow you to our bedroom and cuddle up like an unbreakable knot and I want you to love me and make love to me. That is what I want.” Saying this, I burst into tears.

And with that final burst of speech, the dam broke and her tears poured out in an immeasurable gush. I looked away.

He looked away as if it pained him to see me cry.

It was hurting me and I didn’t’ dare look at her again. “I cannot give you what you want. I am not ready yet. You know how I feel about marriage. We are together. Isn’t that enough for now?” I said, my voice rising defensively. I then gently laughed.

He laughed softly, somberly. Laughter was his mask; it protected him and hid him from showing what he actually felt. He said something, trying to make a joke. I didn’t even remember what it was later.

Trying to joke at such a moment was a bad move. “Why do you have to make a joke out of everything?” She cried, her voice trembling with the strain of emotion. “Why can’t you just feel? Cry?” she asked. “I cannot help it. I laugh when I am nervous.” I replied uneasily. She nodded.

I just nodded. I had heard all this many times before. Silence engulfed us in its drowsy softness. He threw his legs over mine. I felt a sense of contentment. He covered his eyes with his arm and his breaths changed, quickened. I laid my head across the warmth of his chest. It felt so soothing, and familiar, and to think I would never have it again…it brought on almost a feeling of fear deep within my gut.

Her sobs were quieter now, but no less emotional, and I felt her body shake with the force of them. “Here, feel this.” I said and clutching her fingers I touched them to my cheek.

I felt the dampness and I looked up. This time he didn’t look away. He smiled but there was no laughter in his eyes, he had tears. “See what you do to me?” he said. I was surprised. I had never seen him cry before.

Her breath sharpened. She had never seen me cry before. It must have come as a surprise to her.

I wanted to see it, to feel his emotion, probably for the last time. We cried silently together, his hear beating with a slow rhythm beneath my ear. “I’ll never have this again, will I?” I sobbed.

She sobbed and gasped for breath. It was killing me to see her in so much pain. “Don’t say that! And please don’t cry!” I begged. “This doesn’t mean it is the end.” She still continued to cry.

Despite the hope that blossomed in my chest, I kept crying. I stroked his face. “He doesn’t love me anymore. But I still do.” I thought.

She stroked my face. “She thinks I don’t love her anymore. But I do.” I thought.

We sat gazing at each other, both of us scared to think about what would happen once this moment ended. Goosebumps danced along our bare skin, and we breathed as one.

Achi lagti hai...

Main aur wo takreeban satran (17) saalon se ik dosray ko jantay thay.Hum dono saath palay bharay, saath khailay kooday hameesha saath saath rahaythay. Magar hum dost naheen thay kiun ke wo na to mujhe zaroorat se ziada janti thi na, na main usko zaroorat se kam bas hum ik dosray ko zarooratan jantay thay. Wo sab ki ladli thi or main uski ladli thi. Wo sab se naaz uthwati thi or main usse.., wo sab pe ghussa karti thi or main uspe. Main uske kiye gaye har zulm ka badla usse leleti thi usne khud ko logo se khud ko dor kia to main ne khud ko loogon se aur qareeb karlia. Pata hai kiya? uski maa ko mujh se bohat shikaytain hain jinki bharas wo us pe nikal leti hain, main usse satati jo ho magar wo bhi to mujhe aur statanay lagti hai ye silsila chalta rehta hai. Usse uske abba bohat pasand hain aur pasand to wo mujhe bhi agar wo usse kabhi ghalti se bhi kuch keh detay hain to wo roti hai phir mujhe bhi rona ajata hai aur hum dono khoob rotay hain. Wo mujhe bohat pasand hai halanke woo logon se bohat jhagrti hai par mujhe achi lagti hai. Main uske andar rehti hon, wo mujh ko achi lagti hai..

Meri Maa..!

Mera por por dukh raha tha, dard tha jo beinteha tha or ghum tha jo hadse sewa tha. Ghum jismani aziat ka hargiz nahin tha kiun ke ye to har dosray din ka khail tha ghum apne aj ke kiye ka bhi nahin tha, kiun ke agar jo aj kiya hai wo na karti to meray bachay (han main 3 bacho ki maa hon) wo kal apni masomiyat ko apne andar khaeen chupai Karachi jaise baray shehr ki bheer main kaheen gum hojatay ab kam se kam mujhe pata to hai ke wo kahan hain.. une mustaqbil ki pareeshani go ab bhi hai magar unke masoomiyat cheenay ka khoof nahin hai.. Main ne Rehan ko mana kardiya hai ke main unahin wapis nahin laon gi go usne or sari baradari ne mujhe dhutkara bhi or dhamkaya bhi magar main kaise man lon ke main unahin wapis laon gi to unke saath pehlay jaisa salook nahin hoga ye char dewarain bhi wohi hain Rehan ka rawaya bhi na ab tak zameen se koi khazana nikla na asmaan se hun ki barish hoi phir kaise sab waisa nahin rahega? Main jab se baradari walon ke pass se uth kar ayi hon chup hon meray saas susar bhi aye thay amma abba bhi unhon ne bhi wohi kaha jo adhi duniya keh rahi hai Rehan bahar he hai ussse meri chup se wehshat mehsoos honay lagi thi wo or us sameet saray log yehi chahtay thay ke main bachon ko wapis le aon. Abhi sirf 9:00 baje thay agar "Shafaq" ghar main hoti to yaheen sehn main meray kisi dupatay ko orhay apni sahelion ke saath khail rahi hoti usse abhi se he dupata pehnay ka bohat shoq hai or agar "Hasam" hota to wo meray pass is cvhatai pe leta mujh duniya jahan ki kahniyan sunata take uske bap ka diya ghum us pitai ki aziyat main uski baaaton main gum hokar bhool jaon. Duniya ki maa'ein apne bachon ko kahanian sunati hain or mera shehzada mujhe kahaniyan sunata hai or "Sarim" mera sab se samajdar beta sab se bara sab se acha wo hota to.. magar wo to EDHI CENTRE chalay gaye balke wo kiun jatay wo jana he nahin chah rahay thay main he.. Hasam to meray baghair neend he nahin ati thi Shafaq apne bap ke sulaye baghair nahin soti thi. Baramday main dono charpaiyan khali pari theen yeh meri charpai ke samnay wali ispe Rehan or Shafaq sotay thay halankay Rehan betiyon ka yun bap se lad karna zara pasand nahin karta tha magar wo bhi usiki beti thi zid karke larke soti thi. Or Rehan ki charpai ke painteen pe jo charpai thi uspe Sarim soota tha soochtay soochtay main ne takiye pe hath jo mara to ghari hath main ayi ye Sarim ki ghari thi jo main ne usse is saal di thi wo roz raat ko meray takiye ke neechay rakh deta tha takkay main saweray time par uth sakon.. Mera poora jism dukh raha tha or usse bhi ziada dukh mujh apne bachon se judai ka tha magar main en unka bura to nahin chaha tha koi Maa kaise apni olaad ka bua chah sakti hai. Tabhi darwaza khola or Rehan aya
"To ne bhari duniya main meri izzat ka janaza nikal dia aray naseebo jali kisne aha tha bachon ko wahan daal aa ab dekh puri duniya main TV main dekha rahain hain teri olaad ko" Wo atay he meray sar par khara ho kar cheekhnay laga
"TV par" meri to so'een waheen atak gayi
"Han tv par ... zamanay bhar ke loog tho tho kar rahain hain magar tujhe ise kia tu to unahin beech ayi" wo bolta ja raha tha ke meray zabt ki inteha hoi main ne uska girebaan ko pukra
" Mai ne beech dia aray beechnay tu to ja raha tha ye kiunn nahin kehta k teray seenay pe sanp laut rahain hain ke wo wahan kiun chaklegaye to jahan lejana chahta tha wahan kiun nahin gaye beghairat be-emaan tu to hai" main bedam se hokar gir pari

Poori raat kaise katti main nahin janti magar subha main apni mamta or apne dukh ke saathiyon apni himmat ke sahrroon ko na pakar unse milnay chali gayi wahan gayi to pata chala ke meray jigar ke tukray bhi mujh se door reh kar puri raat ah o zari karte rahain hain main ALLAH ka naam lekar ghar le ayi rastay bhar wo tv walay peechay paray rahay go ke mein ne chehra chupaya hoa tha main bus behtti to peechay behtay babay ne akhbar ki surkhi parhi jismain kisi siyastdan ne ye kaha k "Bachon ko edhi centre main jama karana darasal hukumat ke khilaaf propoganda hai ik sazish hai" main poochna chahti hon in sab siyasatdano se ke kaise koi maa pane bachon ko baghair kisi majboori ke apne se dor karsakti hai?Kya koi maa iti kamzarf bhi hosakti hai k olaad ko mulk ki hukmarno ke darmiyan tasadum main istemal honay de.. Kia yehi wo PAKISTAN hai jiska khuwab IQBAL ne dekha tha, jiske liye lakhon ne apni janain deen?

(I dont know how well or how bad its written i know there is always a room for improvment but i dedicate this piece to all the mothers especially mine)

rajni makes it possible - 1

He is a Super star.

He is the richest actor in India.
He is a Dream boy to every girl in Tamil Nadu.
He is a talent hub. He is a style icon. He is a skilled actor .
He is .......... guess .
... guesss.... and guess....

Rajni Kanth

Have you ever wondered how Rajni makes things possible.With his entry in Tamil cinema ,things changed drastically.He soon went on to become Tamil Nadu's youth icon in 1980's and a super star.He never knew that a Super star tag awaited him.He was simple yet sincere.He never showed off ,but to be honest he did and always does weird things in all his films.In this space I am going to talk about Rajnikanth and just Rajnikanth.
In Tamil Nadu,people are very fond of this super star called Rajnikanth.Many times I have wondered what is so special about this guy?.Some times I used to realize that he just shakes his head and hands here and there and people call it style. .I could not imagine to the extent to which people are crazy.Some people do pray for his films whenever it is released .I wanted to see his movie called 'Sivaji',but to my vain I could not get a single ticket and it seemed that the tickets were booked for the next 5 weeks.Finally ,I got to see this tamil flick after 3 months.Now,even I started liking Rajnikanths acting.He is the only Indian actor to have more than 150 fan clubs in India and Outside India.Amitabh Bachhan was way back behind RK.He is 59 and he likes the simpleton way of living life.Just check this picture and you will know everything.Please don't get frightened :P

I remember the stunt that he did in a tamil movie few years back.Consider the following scenario.

Rajnikanth is a police officer.The villain tries to ravish the heroin and tries to strip her naked.After few seconds,Rajnikant comes into picture with his khaki uniform.He waits and watches the villain and the heroin for a few seconds.He then removes a cigarette from his pocket.He then throws it up along with the lighter.I still wonder where the cigarette has gone and I was shocked to see it in Rajnikants mouth.I still wonder how is that possible.I myself haven't tried such weird stuffs.But ,I feel that Rajni makes things possible.

Scenario no.2
In another movie, Rajanikanth is confronted with 3 gangsters. Rajanikanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife. Guess, what he does? He throws the knife at the middle gangster? & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.

Scenario no.3
Rajanikanth has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can't be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Rajanikanth is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured!
Long Live Rajanikanth!..isn't that amazing .

Scenario no.4
Rajanikanth is chased by a gangster. Rajanikanth has a revolver but no bullets in it. Guess what he does. Nah? Not even in your remotest imaginations. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajanikanth opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang...the gangster dies...
I guess Rajinikanth dances well.I loved that song of his called "Tilana Tilana".I just want you guys to check that video.Rajni dances
Ok ,I was doing a research on this great actor and these were the results that I got.

1.)Outer space exists because its afraid to be on the planet where Rajnikant lives.
2.)Rajnikant has counted to infinity twice.
3.)When Rajnikant does push ups ,he isn't lifting himself up ,he is instead pushing earth down.
4.)Rajnikant is so fast,he can run around the world and push himself in the back of the head.
5.)Rajnikant never wears watch,he decides what time it is.
6.)Rajnikant gave mona lisa that smile.
7.)Rajnikant can slam a revolving door.
8.)Rajnikant's house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
9.)Rajnikant grinds the coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
10.)If you Google search " Rajnikant getting kicked",it generates 0 results as it doesn't happens.
11.)The Bermuda triangle used to be Bermuda square until he kicked off one of the corners.
12.)The only thing that runs faster and longer than Rajnikant are is his films.
13.)Where there is a will ,there is a way.Where there is Rajnikanth ,there is no way

In Other words ,bole toh ...

Mind It...enna rascala..
Live Long life Mr.Shivaji rao Gaikwad a.k.a Rajnikanth of Tamil Nadu

Rajini makes everything possible ,what say???

Addicted.....

Addicted to your eyes,
Addicted to your smile,
Addicted to you,
I am all the while.....

You injected the venom of love,
Deep into my vein,
And just can't tell you now,
How sweet is the pain.....

This drug of your love,
Has given me such a high,
That I crave for it more and more,
As each day passes by.....

Take away my body,
Take away my soul too,
I would rather die,
Than live without you!!!!

Mother India Speaks....

So easily destroyed,
So difficult to build,
So many of my brave sons,
Mercilessly killed,
Enough of destruction,
I crave for peace,
I, Mother India, pray now,
For violence to cease!!!

Dear terrorist brother.....

You may have a different religion,
You may have a different name,
But dear terrorist brother, just pierce me and see,
Our blood is just the same,
For what are you taking revenge on me?,
When and how did I become your enemy?,
Who's put that blindfold on you, dear brother,
That right and wrong, you can't see?

Dear terrorist brother, don't you feel,
That it is but a little odd,
That you are out to destroy, what's been,
Created by your own God?,
We were born and we shall mingle,
Into the same dust,
Then why is it dear brother,
That for my blood you lust?

We eat the same food,
We breathe the same air,
We drink the same water,
And the same sunlight we share,
But still you claim that we are different,
And hate me for it too,
Just think hard and tell me now,
What bad have I done to you?

I don't know who's Ram and Allah,
But the same God created me and you,
How I wish He had taught us,
To love and respect each other too,
Dear terrorist brother now stop right there,
This excruciating pain I can no more bear,
Just try to change yourself now,
For its never too late to learn to love and care!!!

Father, Forgive Them, For They Know Not What They Do

In the beginning You made the heavens,
the earth and everything else that is.
Did You know all of it even then,
that we would be nothing but remiss?
You made us in Your image from dirt,
and breathed into us the breath of life.
Did You know then that all we’d do is hurt,
and be with You always at strife?
There was no pain, no tears, no mar,
the world was perfect in every way.
No sin, no crusades, no holy war,
no terror attacks to ruin the day.
There was nothing that we couldn’t do.
You said, just don’t eat from this one tree.
But still we chose to disobey You,
and be slaves rather than to be free.
Why Eve? Adam why?
Why did they rather choose to die?
If only they hadn’t chosen to sin,
how wonderful then this world would’ve been.
And since then it’s been the same,
we’ve always kept our backs on You.
How lowly and dirty we became,
and yet we gave the devil its due.
We slaughter and kill in Your name,
and then we conveniently choose You to blame.
Don’t You ever regret You made man?
That You made us the center of Your plan?
We don’t curse our fathers for our wrong takes.
We don’t blame our mothers for our mistakes.
Aren’t You our Father too?
Then why do we point fingers at You?
All we’ve ever given You is hate,
and yet You tell us that it’s never too late.
You loved us and You died for us,
Why do You waste Your love so precious?
How can You just forgive the things we do,
when pain is all that we’ve given You?
You came to take our sins away,
and yet we crucify You everyday!
On one hand we want to be free,
We say, “God, I don’t want You controlling me!”
We have freewill and when we screw things up,
it’s then that we want You to make it stop.
Oh God when will we understand,
that Your ways are different from that of man?
That the reason you let things go by,
is that like everything else, certain rules apply.
You’ve always given us a choice,
to choose between what’s right and wrong.
And to help us, You became our inner voice,
but we have ignored it all along.
Inside all of us is the Spirit of Jesus,
and there’s also the devil in every one of us.
It’s up to us who we let dominate,
the God of Love or the god of hate.
Death, destruction, terror and war,
What is the world coming to?
Father, forgive them, for,
they know not what they do!
Lord Jesus when will You come?
We're sick and tired of living like a slave.
Look at what Your perfect world has become,

hurry, or there will be no one left to save.

***

Quit blaming God for everything bad that happens in this world. Face it. We brought this upon ourselves and we are the ones to blame for it, not God. Seeing the state of the world, He is hurting much more than you are right now. Instead, praise Him and thank Him for everything good that's left. My condolences to the victims of the terror attack in Mumbai and prayers for the misguided 'terrorists'. May God have mercy on their souls. I'm sure most if not all of you must be hating these men from the core of your hearts but realize that the same God who made us also made them. All of us are born the same. It is not God who makes us or lets us do such evil things, it is us. Look closely in a mirror, and you'll realize that there is a 'terrorist' in all of us.

Brave sons of Mumbai...

To kill the wretch,
they took an oath.
Of bullets and guns,
they were fed.
They settled the tiff,
which was so stiff.
Fight was tight,
the scene was not so bright.
to topple the enemy was their only might.
The knave's ruthles acts annoyed 'em ,
to kill and clear them was their prime aim.
Heroes skills were prominent,
but the rogue's were dominant.
To freed people,devoid of harm,
Erase and Evade danger was their plan.
Hopping out from the Arsenal,
with armours and guns,
they shoot out the brutal force,
for the dangers they posed.
Brave are they,strong their heart,
to reach and protect every soul was their goal.
They fiercely accept the bullets on their chest,
without bothering to return back to their nest.
Lets salute our heroes,
who tackled the zeroes
May their soul rest in peace.



On 26th November,Mumbai lost its brave sons in the event of fighting against terrorism.Around 11 top cops were killed, which included Hemant Karkare,Vijay Salaskar ,Ashok Kamte and many other officers.It was one of the most high profile attack ever carried out on the city.The city lost its true son in the event of tackling terrorism.Lets pray for these officers who have lost their lives, just for the betterment of the city and its people.May their souls rest in peace.

My Guilty Promise

It was the seventh period and the class attendance was half. Reason: My school's much talked about conti party. I didn't go. Dad didn't allow. I had to listen to him. After all, I"m living with him. Chuck that. The seventh period was the Physical Education period. I wasn't in a mood to play. No one was there. Shivani had gone to the party. So I sat on the dais stairs with Vindhya and Mansa. My iPod was plugged in and we were talking about friends and solitude and all the world's philosphical things. I said, "Let me play my and Drishti's favorite song. We used to sing it all day." The conversation ended with the period and we went back to our respective classes. The next two periods were strangely interesting. I came back home and had lunch despite of my hunger strike. That strike was for my parents to come back together. Seeing it getting wasted, I took to eating back.

I called the driver at about 3:15 pm and asked him to come as quickly as possible. He came at around 4 and I was in Gurgaon by 5:30. He dropped me at Galleria. I asked him to inform mom that I was in Gurgaon and that I would be meeting her. I had not called any of my friends to give me company. I was feeling terribly lonesome. I wanted to go ane meet mom but something was holding me back. I wanted to stay here...and not go back home. I saw people smoke and have drinks behind the Wine Shop. I didn't want the booze. It makes my head spin. But I wanted to smoke. It was the weakest me asking for a smoke. I confess this....I was weak at that time. I had smoked yesterday also... I wanted to tell this so I couldn't find a place better than this!! I hate me for smoking. I hate me for deceiving my own principles. I hate me for everything. I held myself back. I knew that smoking was bad. It is bad. Come on!! I made him give up smoking and here I was...drooling for the high. "It's pretty cold." I thought. That's no excuse. But I found myself walking towards the shop to get myself a slender piece of shit. The guy lit it up. My lips touched it. The smoke was whirling in the bud. Soon it came out and sooner than I thought I joined the "smokers" group. I sat near the fountain...blowing off my sanity. After it was all finished, I jogged myself to mom's house. That must be about a good fifteen kilometres.

Mom was sleeping. I didn't disturb her and went straight to my room and here I am...typing my guilty experience of the smoking. While I smoked there, I thought of all the deaths I witnessed. I then remembered that tomorrow is my eldest brother's 2nd death anniversary. Wow!!! It's been two long years since I lost him forever. Tears trickled down my cheeks instantly and I rubbed the small bud on the ground and ran.
I promise this to myself and to everyone that I will not smoke ever again. It's not who I am. And it's not who I'll ever be. Sorry. I apologize to myself and to everyone whose faith is still with me. I won't let my solitude take over me!! Ever!!!

Mumbai Bombs

Dear All!

I have come to know about the terrible bombing in Mumbai. I hope you and your loved ones are safe and sound. These terrorists won't get away with that. It's time like these when we realize how important it is to unite with each other.

My condolences to the families who faced any kind of loss in this tragedy.

Regards,

Mehreen.

I Think I Found My Life Again

I think I found my life again,
a little sunshine after all the rain.
This faith that I now have in us,
is slowly easing all the pain.

A past so full of hate and hurt,
a heart that just had filth and dirt.
You came and took it all away,
I’d never thought I’d be this way.

The words you say are healing me,
It makes me feel we are meant to be.
For the state that now I’m in,
I don’t regret the way I‘ve been.

I think I found my life again,
a little sunshine after all the rain.
This feeling that I have for you,
I promise it will never wane.

Those sordid days and lonely nights,
the bitter moments, sullied sights.
The soreness and the burn is gone,
lost in you, I carry on.

I hope, I wish, I now have dreams,
I’m modest now in my extremes.
I’m no more the man I used to be,
because you chose to be with me.

I think I found my life again,
a little sunshine after all the rain.
This fervor makes me feel revived
of a love I can never explain.

You complete me, you make me whole,
your love intoxicates my soul.
With every heartbeat, every breath,
I am loving you to death.

Through this life and then beyond,
nothing ever will break this bond,
and every moment, all the while,
I'll do anything to see you smile.

I think I found my life again,
a little sunshine after all the rain.
Being bleak I’ll hide no more,
I love you madly, Mi Amour.

- To Shreya, mi amour.

Favourite blog of 2008

hey guys,its just one month remaining for a brand new year and a brand new season.Blogger v2 has decided to present an award called "favourite blog of 2008".This contest is open for all bloggers in our Lounge as well as in blogosphere.All you have to do is register ur blog on or before 10th December 2008.Registrations can be done in Blogger V2.0 community.

hey guys wht r u waiting for.Juts nominate ur blog and let people judge your blog wheter it fits to be the favourite blog of 2008.I have already nominated my blog for the same.We need more participation.

For More details about registration info,check Blogger V2.O and Writers lounge Orkut

Rules: Only one blog per person is allowed....so do nominate the blog which you can fetch you the award.

here is the sneak peek of the winner badge "Favourite blog of 2008"

I don't know!

Everymorning I wake up,
Finish my morning chores, and get to work,
I make a target for the day,
But I don't know how much I would complete!

The whistle blows at the dock,
The sailors aboard their ships,
The anchors rise from the sea bed,
But I don't know how many ships will reach the next coast!

A nation goes to war,
Its army readies itself against the enemies',
Soldiers full of optimism stride confidently into the field,
But I don't know how many will come back!

Parents love their children,
Bring them up and give them a life,
Thinking they would be supported in their old age,
But I don't know how they end up in an old age home!

Such is the life of man,
He toils for his aspirations, spends all energies after them,
Halves his sleeping time, and shuns his pleasures,
But he doesn't know how much he will achieve!

It is but the vanity of man,
That makes him so confident, so ambitious,
So greedy, he cares zilch for his fellow beings,
But he doesn't know how much God knows!

So my fellow beings, lets surrender ourselves to the Almighty,
For it is only He who knoweth all and
It is only He who can guide us to our desires.
Let us forget all our troubles and gather one more time
At the table of He, who knoweth all.
And live happily ever after.

Romance with my Maiden

ROMANCE WITH MY MAIDEN

Every morning,
My love calls me,
After I am done with the yawning.

Rest I do, my palm on hers,
The luscious bosom of hers,
Ever so alluring.

That body full of rounds,
Making a perfect hour glass-
Never before, had I seen such mounds.

Ride we forth taking bends,
Signs come, we wait for a while-
But we never reach dead ends.

Her purr, ah! softer than a cat-
Every man would drown in those-
Desiring to take her, but for that brat.

Her paws so firm, never letting free,
Grip on the bed, like no other-
Not for a moment loose, or gone would I be!

At last at the time of desire, we come.
Oh what a pleasure that was-
Fun always, till old age come.

I thank God, for giving me such a bride-
Without whom, I would be late
At work, and by the boss fried.

My bride, my pride is...

Birthday Wishes

Happy Birthday Stephen....!!!!

Hope you have many more birthdays to come and all of them bring you the best in terms of health, studies and prosperity.

May all your wishes come true.

You've been an awesome person and always stay the same.

God bless!!!

Unceremonious Return.

Hello, Hi, Asalamualikum (May Peace be upon you) people.

Let me start with the latest, Birthday ste =) so proud on you.

So finally the lost traveler found her way back, I had to in the end.. just that it took me coupla weeks.
Winter has arrived, autumn leaves have begun to loom and the nice chilly breezes are loaded to send shiver down the spine. Wardrobes are evacuated and re-arranged with shawls and sweaters here, the frost are weaving myriad of patterns on the window panes and fog has started to appear. A large mug of coffee and chocolate are your favorite beverages now and the color of mountains are deep blue.

With the change of season, your routine and choices change. I wonder if the emotions turn cold too? No, I think.. Not.


Yes, I have been away, went off without notice. Not as such a big deal or something, just emotional turmoil, I thought I would rather isolate myself from everywhere just to find my way back to the world of people.. striving hard to.

And oh! Found a plethora of posts to-be-read. I promise to read and respond to all InshAllah. (If Allah wills) and new members are here too.. wow!

And hey ste, how rude, how could you do such injustice by Not Selecting Sandeep's name in the poll for member of month? I think we should have a 'man of the month' award permanently dedicated to him.


Anyway, some one welcome me please? I have stories to share.. I hope to start posting soon, Also, I have this friend, Insya.. she's left her email ste, Please consider her..

And confetti anyone? Expresso? Anything? *sniff*

A GREETING FOR APPU - Part 3

But fate had something else in store. After completing my 9th Std. we got transferred from Mumbai to Gujarat. Crucial board years that followed restrained me from going back to Kerala in vacations. I used to send Appu new year cards without fail. Appu would go all around Krishnapuram showing my card to everyone concerned with an air of pride about him. And here I was, as an engineer coming back after 7 years to visit Krishnapuram on New Year’s eve with a card for Appu firmly clutched in my hand.

The cart shook a little and came to an abrupt stop. “Saar! Krishnapuram Ethi (Krishnapuram has come)”. I alighted and after paying off Vasu headed for our ancestral home. I was overwhelmed by the pompous reception I received from my cousins and other relatives. Delicious lunch was lined up for me. Relatives squared up to have a glimpse of me, to hear about everyone back home.

By evening my arrival phenomenon seemed to fade out and I slipped out of the house under the pretext of taking a bath. I walked along the mud road, had a view of the overflowing river and the temple ruins, and took a shortcut along the fields to Appu’s house. I walked straight into the backyard of Appu’s house, my eyes searching for him. There he was…..my dearest friend Appu, but not in his usual bubbly self overflowing with enthusiasm.

He was eerily silent, lying still inside a large mound of mud with a few flowers by where his head was supposed to be. My dearest friend Appu, buried there. My feet suddenly gave away and I embraced the mound, letting out a loud wail, tears swelling in my eyes. The news of his death last year, when I was in my final year of engineering, had come as a big shock and hit me hard.

Our very own Bharatapuzha river had swept him along on one of his bathing sprees, taking Appu with her on the embarkment of an eternal journey. I could not stop crying for the months to follow at the thought of loosing my dearest friend. But gradually, I began to feel that an angel form heaven was always by my side, ushering me to go and get everything under the sky with that usual stammered call of his, “Ssss…..andu, Go, Get it !!”. I placed the new year card by his side, looked up towards the sky, as I knew that Appu was up there, and whispered to the winds, “HAPPY NEW YEAR,APPU. I REALLY MISS U DA!!”

The setting sun was painting the sky with a flourish of gold and red. I had a strong feeling that Appu was welcoming me back to Krishnapuram. I listened to the symphony of the water lapping against the hull of the boat. Like a miser, I clung desperately to the moment. It was late into the night when I got back home, blew out the hurricane lantern and surrendered to the bed.

The End.

The Large Black Spot

My first print on this blog, please respect it. Thank you.


The Large Black Spot


Sometimes I feel stuck,
Between every thought,
Behind every laughter,
A large black spot

The stencil of this masque,
Has been shaped so perfect,
Despite being deceived,
I grow more allergic

All these beautiful faces,
Don’t give me wings,
I generate more sorrow,
Instead of sweet things

Don’t plaster me, inside these wall,
These walls that u made, with your own thoughts,
On these walls, you’ll find my name,
On these walls, a large black spot.

_ANDY

_2008-11-22

The inner voice....

Someone speaks from inside me,
This voice eggs me on to live,
My inner voice is pure,
It teaches me to forget and forgive,
This voice leads me on,
When life gets out of control,
and gives me strength and confidence,
To fight and reach my goal,
And when life turns unfair,
And everything seems untrue,
When today pains me,
And of tomorrow I have no clue,
This inner voice of mine,
Speaks out loud and clear,
Motivates me to keep going,
And God seems to be near,
Hope I am never separated,
From this inner soul of mine,
May it always stay protected,
In my tiny heart's confines!!!!

May be... May be not

The smell of coffee fills the air. She is talking to 2 friends, making one the butt of her jokes. She dressed up well today and for a change, she actually looks darn pretty. Pretty enough to sway him off his feet, she hopes.

 

He walks in. He looks darn good. She is swept off her feet. Actually, she just missed a heartbeat. If someone looked real close, they would see the blush in her smile. He looks at her and she knows that she knew all along that he liked her… or may be not.

 

“Looking sexy handsome” – her friend, who is also his friend

 

“They are making me walk the ramp.” It’s the office fest.

 

She laughs, amused by the idea. She is after all, before everything else, his friend.

 

He ignores her amusement, completely engrossed in his worry.

 

“I was supposed to walk the ramp with a chick. She bailed out.”

 

“The chick ditched you. Hee Hee” The butt of all jokes attempts a target

 

Target fails.

 

“Don’t worry, we’ll find you someone” - The common friend.

 

“I hope so. How do I look?” – Her cutie-pie

 

“You look good.” – 2 voices in unison.

 

He looks towards her. “Snob, I asked something”

 

“Your wardrobe is missing a tie” – The Snob

 

“I have it here. I just don’t know how to put it on”

 

“I’ll help you”

 

The moment she adores- being close to him. Hoping he feels the same way about her. She helps him with his tie. She likes his choice of colour – pink.

 

“There you go”

 

“Thanks”

 

A moment of silence and the language of eyes. Or was it the moment of her overtly positive imagination.

 

The distance ensues. They become aware of 2 other presences in their moment.

 

No one notices anything, or may be she was the only one who thought there was something. 

Towards Destiny

"You can never go home again"
Thus spake a wise man
Years ago, of how Time
Has that fascinating property
Of lending distance, excising
Incisively, through experience, any
Tremulous familiarity with a past.

Nestlings fly away,
Rarely ever, to return to their
Nest of birth;
Though Salmon brave
The currents to reach the
Old spawning waters;
Nothing less that a cruel
Destiny awaits!

And while that invisible
Umbilical cord strains
With time, and its ally, distance,
One forgets that the
Process of Birth
Is a one way street-
A that cord can
Never be retracted!


Thus, as Time oxidizes
Rusts the sheen, and finally
Shows the doorway:

The game, it moves up, another level.


Usha Pisharody
5 July, 2008

A GREETING FOR APPU – Part 2

Appukuttan or Appu, as he was more popularly known, was 10 years older than me but behaved as if he were a 6-7 year old. Since my primary school days he was my soulmate during the summer vacations, remaining with me like a shadow for these 2 months every year. It took me some maturity to learn the fact that Appu was not normal, that he was mentally retarded. But that did not deter me at all. Our bond grew stronger and stronger and stronger with every passing year. I had become used to that familiar stammered call of “Sssss…anndu” ( as Sandu was what he lovingly called me). Tucking up his lungi every now and then was his hallmark. His description is incomplete without the mention of the heavy Gandhian glass he wore. A constant source of worry for his father, a new pair of glasses would not survive more than a week. His father’s novel idea of tying a string around his neck attached to the glasses to prevent them from falling down wasn’t much of a help either. Yes, it did bring some improvement in the survival time of the glasses. Appu was a staunch believer of cleanliness. Just a speck of dust on his glasses, and he would give them a nice wipe with his lungi. In this way he ended cleaning up his glasses nearly 35-40 times a day. So thorough was the wipe he gave them that many a time while cleaning the glasses, the glasses would succeed in finding their way out of the frame that seemed to imprison them.

The next moment I realized that I was laughing my heart out and Vasu, the cart owner was giving me an amusing look. “Saar! Bet you just saw a very nice dream, didn’t you?”. “ No Vasu” , I replied, “Just remembered my good old Krishnapuram days. Those 2 month summer vacations every year when this place was my heavenly abode. By the way, anything new in Krishnapuram? What about the Bhagawathi temple?”. Vasu answered in a sad tone, “That temple’s now in ruins saar. After Unni Namboothiri’s untimely demise 5 years back, the temple has had no caretaker. Even the suspension bridge to the temple is in a very bad state. Every year the politicians pledge to repair the whole thing but do a disappearing act after the elections. Even the public is not interested saar. The world is definitely going to end soon, with the people having no time to spare for their creator. Oh God!! Please forgive. Shiva, Shiva.”

The cart was speeding its way through the jungle. I felt sorry for the state of the temple. The good old Bhagawathi temple on the other side of the swaying suspension bridge, poised on top of a pinnacle like hillock that seemed to soar out of the swirling waters. We would sit there for hours over viewing the beauties of nature. I used to luxuriate there in the gentle pace of unhurried activity engulfed in an enlightening divine feeling. Here, overlooking the land which celebrates the bounty of nature with a riot of vegetation, I relaxed and contemplated the seconds as they ticked by. Sailing with Appu across the Bharatapuzha river which kissed Krishnapuram was like drifting into a mysterious world untouched by time. Our days used to start with a bath in the river, often accompanied by my father. Ever heard of someone taking a tumbler along to the river for a bath? That was me, as I didn’t know to swim and neither did Appu. But that did not deter us from going to the river for a bath. We would set about with a professional swimmer like stature. Villagers would enquire where the Siamese twins (villagers gave us this name) were heading for and Appu would give them a prompt reply, “To the river to have a bath. Ssss…andu is too scared to go all alone you see. Moreover he doesn’t know swimming as well.” As if he himself was a born swimmer. The villagers would giggle at his reply and I too couldn’t help giving a faint smile. Once near the river bank we would just go knee deep into the waters as we knew our limitations and then use to exchange turns to use the tumbler, with the river serving as a bucket for us. Appu would often treat me with a soda at Renjith’s store where his father had opened him an account in his name. Appu was a complete movie buff. Sometimes even I would doubt on his mental status when I would hear him delivering dialogues from each and every movie he had seen till date. Appu was my soulmate and I would confide in him everything. He would be really concerned to hear my problems. No one could break our friendship; no one could take us apart.

To be continued...

Oh No...!! Not Again....

“Good Morning ! You can use the bathroom first today” said my smiling sister. My God ! I can’t handle such big surprises that early in the morning. For the first time in my life , I reached college with 30 mins for the bell. Then came the good news – “The last date for submission of assignments is extended by 2 days ”. For once I felt – “ The world is so nice , lecturers are so sweet & I’m so very lucky ”. I reached my classroom & as a routine walked up to the guy who is the topper of my class to kindle him off and said – “ Hey buddy, ask me if you have any doubts. I teach better than girls ”. With a Charlie Chaplin look on his face, he replied – “ Are you alright ? ” . I un-temptingly refrained to say – “ You egg-headed rascal . You minus the ‘ syllabus in your head ’ equals only a Papaya seed. (Wow, that was too complex even for me. But actually I always wanted to say such facts to him as he perpetually pisses me off). Then entered my lecturer with the ‘Examination Result Sheets’ . To my surprise, I was announced as the class topper this time. Elated I became. Everyone started clapping hands and I felt augmented & happy, though I always felt ‘clapping hands’ was a silly, childish gesture when I was on the other side.

I was over the moon & everything seemed so rosy-rosy. Just then I heard some weird sounds tickling my mind. I contemplated the sounds for a while only to end up shouting- “ Oh Shit , it’s my alarm & I’m still on the bed ”. I just couldn’t convince myself that it was all just a dream.

“ Oh Noo….. Not Again…”

“I’m using the bathroom first ” said my kind sister. Asusually, I reached college with just 5 mins for the bell. The last date for submission of assignments wasn’t delayed. Not for once I felt- “Such a battered world , lecturers are atrociously sulky & I’m ‘light years’ away from being lucky ”. I went straight to Mr.Topper and asked- “ Dude, completed the assignment? ”. He said- “ Ofcourse. Submitted yesterday itself. You didn’t ? Don’t worry, ma’am will screw you ”. My lips were rattling with countless special words. I recalled the ‘complex dialogue’ of my dream and said it straight. Before he could even understand it, ma’am (aka terrorist) stormed in with the results sheets in her hand. To my awful luck, I was right in her way when she almost bumped into me. It was then she realised that I’m a ‘not so favourite’ student of her & asked- “ Where is the assignment?”
“Kick my bad luck to the core” I thought but said “ I wrote it but forgot to get it” .
She wore this expression on her face which reflected a thousand synonyms of ‘Get Out’ .
She said- “ Haha, nice joke but an old joke. Get Out”.

So, that meant I had the privilage to visit the library, where I came up with this small, silly poem –

Sleeping in the bed cozy-cozy
Everything seemed so rosy-rosy
Entered into reality
Now everything looks hazy-hazy

.. and you know, what?

Staring at the floor and thoughts flooding
diffusing the raunchy castles, once fantasized
adhering to thine, now leaving away, delights
gloom filled in eyes, so strange seems the twilight
often, being snuggled by your deep inward sigh
he won over all the worldly fictionous cloud,
now, what the win or what the loss, alas!
whilst, starting the day as early as from dark
"to breathe" is all he assign, in his "to do's" merit
what a twisted turn, has he took out of his lyfe
that, no more living doth he feels, no matter what
see, what your giggle has done to him...
nor the gloom filled days, make him question anymore
nor do he, giggle along million of things, once used to do!

Admit It

I saw you once again,
I heard your voice again,
but I pretended not to listen.
I dreamt of your love,
of our secrets we promised,
we won’t tell.
I walked past you,
the things you said stopped my love.
There were no walls, no doors,
no scorns no tremors.
Just coincidences?
What about a heart broken to pieces?
Selfish girl.
No time, you have no time.
and yet you spend hours.
No more phone calls, no more messages.
Chilled to the bone, I hide under cover,
and whisper up against the shadows.
I don’t rue you for your absence.
I wanted to taste you behind the veil,
wanted to pierce your desire to no avail.
The vessels of denial bear flowers to graveyards.
How could you?! How could you?!
I made myself available,
I said I wanted to kiss you.
So much more was on my mind.
We should’ve overcome hesitation.
You shouldn’t have judged me whatsoever,
I shouldn’t have judged you whatsoever.
We lay in bed and marveled at ceilings.
I wanted to at least understand your body.
Your rebellious mind would not admit me,
and your commitments were too awry.
We failed a glimpse of passion,
Admit it.

A GREETING FOR APPU – Part 1

“All passengers to Krishnapuram to alight here!!” , shouted the bus conductor at the top of his voice. Half-drowsy I strutted about my way to exit and alighted down to confront the mild welcoming morning breeze. This along with the excitement of getting back to Krishnapuram, my native place, after a gap of 7 years was pumping adrenaline down my viens. “Namaskaram……Saar!!”, saluted a rather stout looking, dark, lungi clad man heading straight towards me. “Saar…Vandi (Malayalam for vehicle)” , barely had he uttered these words that he had snatched my baggages from my hand and was directing me towards his bullock cart. I followed him blindly like a man in spell. Krishnapuram, a sleepy village in Kerala, was a good 30 kms away from this city and one had to take a path through the forest to reach there. Once I got seated comfortably (not on par with the comfort of motor vehicles), Vasu, the cart owner, gently tapped his buffaloes and we were on our way. The morning breeze along with Vasu’s humming of an old Malayalam song was creating just the right atmosphere for me to relax.

My first glimpse of what lay ahead was when, on the outskirts of the town, a swarm of butterflies fluttered across the road to create everchanging patterns of rippling colours. A dramatic welcome like that is a hard act to follow, but Krishnapuram did not disappoint. The jungle was filled with a deafening void and only the occasional twitter of a bird nibbled at its fringes. As I sliced through this quiet on the cart I started to understand the potency of silence; it is the code of the wild, the invisible fabric behind which the predator hunted and the prey hid. Yes…….this was Krishnapuram; my soul, my great escapades after a torrid year of academics in the concrete jungle of Mumbai, year after year after year. How I simply loved to reach here everytime in my vacations, to run along the river banks that skirts this lovely village chasing a host of colourful birds with my dearest friend Appu. Appu……….my fellow adventurer, a total freak.

To be continued...

Ana Sidranskova - the blessed child 3

To Isabelle, Grace was everything. She loved her like crazy. It is a natural tendency of every mother to kiss their kids. Isabelle used to kiss Grace at least 50 times in a day. It was 24th November 1938, Grace was crying hard for around 2 hours. Even Mariane could not spot out the reason. The baby girls face was red by now. Isabelle soon rushed to the baby. She unhooked her bra and breast fed the baby. The baby was showing signs of sleep .Isabelle continued feeding the baby. Marianne was on her way to the market to fetch some vegetables and fruits. Captain Frankesten ordered us to clear of the Serbians living in Milan. We soon left for the place."Round uppp!!,'We surrounded the camp where the Serbians lived. Marianne soon hid when she saw us. Her watchful eyes became more watchful .We knocked the door and pulled Jacob, Joseph and we did not even spare the young woman who was feeding the baby. Peter Penki tried kissing Isabelle, as a result of which Jacob got annoyed. Jacob kicked soldier Peter as his hands were firmly held by other officers. Seeing this, Peter took his gun and shot Jacob on the spot in front of his wife and his father.Mariane was hiding behind a large tree whose branches reached the periphery of the tree.Mariane’s eyes started shedding out tears. The sky started weeping too. The other Italians were just standing like spectator. There was no one to support them. I warned everyone to get back and we even dared to shoot them out. Isabelle’s face turns pale of a sudden. The baby was still sucking milk from her mother’s breast. Poor, she knew about her father’s death. Isabelle was stunned. They planned to live happily with Grace. They even thought of Grace’s future. They prayed that once the war gets over, they will return back to Serbia and live there happily. All the hopes were dropped and the dreams were shattered .Joseph could not do much. He shook his head down and Isabelle was in a standstill. Every neuron in her body took a pause.Mariane was watching everything from sidelines. I soon grabbed the baby from Isabelle. The neurons came back to life once again, she soon reacted."Gracea, Gracea!! ", she came running towards me.Peter and Robert shot her dead. Her long hairs took a sharp turn and her bra hooks remained open. She felt down on the ground with her breasts exposed. Joseph was the next on hit list and we shot him down as well.Mariane screamed and came running towards us, but an unfamiliar hand held her firmly from behind. He was Jamin.Jamin was from Belgrade and his entire family was killed by the Italian troops during the war. We soon dumped the body. The baby was still with me. We didn’t had any intention of killing the infant .This all happened on 24th November 1938.Jamin took Mariane away ,Misona soon followed them. She watched everything happened. She was amongst the spectators.Misoni was Mariane's neighbour.She has helped Mariane at times, but this time she was helpless .Mariane was the only surviving member of her family.

We soon left the place which was shed with blood all over. It still moistens my eyes when I think of it. I better prefer to stay away from those core memories. I do believe that Ana must be back, home.Sarah Jenkins was busy reading newspaper. Ana studied the presence of Sarah Aunty and hugged her from behind."Aunty!!!,"she screamed.

Ana Sidranskova - the blessed child 2

(All characters are imaginary.)

"Oh shit!!,' I said as I was expecting a boy.Jane was happy with the girl child.I believed that a son would raise the heavy weights from the parents shoulder at their old age.I was not happy at all.Margarine Aunty ,my fathers sister tried to explain me the importance of a girl child.One day she even said that this baby girl wouldtake care of you.She was born one day after Christmas,so we named her "Natalie".Natalie means the birth of Jesus Christ.We named her so as she brought happiness into our family as she was the first child after many years.
Margarine Aunty was true,may be she had excelled the art of reading others future.My daughters Natalie,Tatiana and my cute angel Ana were taking care of me.My wife Jane was fond of Natalie and Tatiana ,but she could not give that much care to Ana.Jane left us when Ana was just 2 years old.Ana would be surely deprived of maternal love.Jane was suffering from a prolonged illness and oneday off a sudden she died. I was shooked.I wept and sobbed as I loved her very much.My guide,my philosopher whom I loved left me on a fine afternoon of a Sunday.I could not even attend the funeral as I had national duty.During my bad times,Jane was the one who used to stand aside me.Jane's death was a big loss for me and my family. She died on November 7th,1940, when Ana was 2 years old sucking feeding bottles.After that , Sarah Jenkins was the only person or may be a part of our family who took care of my daughters.Tatiana is like a queen to our house and she has helped me in my accounting work.Tati ,thats what we used to call her.Tatiana means a beloved Queen.She was indeed a queen.

The year 1937 ,with the advent of the World War II, our attrocities increased as the war had just began.We supported Germany ,Japan and Spain joined us at a later stage.General Frank was the ruling leader of Spain.Some times ,I used to feel what I had done was incorrect.It sometimes used to hurt me ,but I could not help .My good friend Robert used to talk about such things.1937 it was;Tatiana was 5 years old and Natalie was 9 years old.I had asked Jane to take care of the kids and not to leave the house without any reason.Our Captain Frankensten informed us about the migration of some Serbian nationalist into the city of Milan.They were
convicted of crossing borders through Romania and Austria and were accused of carrying banned weapons .The Serbians were a group of around 200 people who used to live in tents around Milan.Milan was flooded with Serbians and a bunch of Bulgarians. In those group of Serbians,there lived a family of 4 .They were the Sidranskova's. The Sidrankova's were amongst the richest family in Serbia. But to vain,at times of stress and troubles,the rich are the one's who get affected.The gem in the crown lost its spark.The royal throne broke of a sudden and they reached Italy via Romania.They lived in a place where accomodation facilities weren't available.They lived under extreme conditions .They made tents and started living in Milan.Mariane and Joseph Sidranskova were the seniormost member of the family.They
had their daughter Isabelle and son in law Jacob living with them.They both were young and still studying.Isabelle was married to Jacob at a very young age of 17.She adored him ,loved him and wanted to treasure all her life in his presence.They had big plans about their future.It was just 5 months since they came to Milan.Jacob and Joseph were working as clerk and accountant in a local bank claiming national identity.They were Serbians ,but now they were Italians to all.Isabelle and Mariane used to do the cooking job at home.Marianne was teaching grade 10 students in Serbia just before the war broke out. Isabelle was a tall fair young woman with brown hair just like Marianne.Jacob was tall and athletic as compared to his wife Isabelle.He was just 18 when he got married.Isabelle was pregnant with Jacob's child."Moma,I am concieved,"Isabelle said to Marianne."God bless you Isa,"she said to her only daughter."I will call her Grace,"she said to her mother."Holy Graceaa,ahh!!,"Mariane chanted and was happy with the name."Are you expecting girl,"Mariane asked Isabelle.Isabelle said that a daughter is a pride to a family and believed that Grace would bring back their lost glory and happiness in their life.Few months passed and a baby girl was born on May11,1938.The girl was a replica of Isabelle.Isabelle has a unique habbit of leaving her hair loose.She would always do it.The men in the family were happy too.They named the baby Grace ."Grace Sidransky!!," shouted
every one."Grace,Grace,"Isabelle was now very much attracted to her daughter."O !! Gracea!!" Isabelle loved her baby.

(To be continued..)

This Shall Pass Too...

She hadn’t had anything to eat last night either. What her mom said had devastated her; and she had lost her appetite. The night was rough as she clung onto her brother and cried. He was the only soul who knew how to lay it to rest. He listened to her more like a friend and would hold her warmly in his arms as she would weep her eyes out. Later she would be light and would beam a smile at him. It would be over as simple as that.

Last night, too, he had listened to her. His face had been calm, not a sign of anything that could have possibly disturbed him. But deep down, he was angry. How could mother have said this to her? “Di, I’ll have a word with mother.”

“No please, don’t”. But the boy had made up his mind. So, the night grew worse as there arose yet another argument. She had given up to her sobs eventually and had fallen asleep.

---

She woke up to her best friend’s call. “Tell me, why do you always send stupid messages?”

“I’m sorry Adi; I just had an argument with mum. I wasn’t okay.” She had sent a frustrating text to him last night, just to show him she was upset and he wasn’t there.

“Okay. So, what’s up? What have you been up to?”

She thought, Geez, I fought with my mom what else? And he thinks I’ll be dancing around after that?

“Nothing much.” Silence.

“Well, talk about something!” Adi said after a pause.

“I don’t know what to talk about.” That was true. All she could think of was her hard moment with her mother. She was half shattered because of it.

“… Okay then, take care… Bye!” It came so suddenly, she didn’t even make out what he had said; she was there in her depressing train of thoughts.

Should I stop him? What shall I talk about? But she soon realized she would be pretending everything’s fine. Why did she have to pretend always? And why to someone who claimed to be her best buddy? She decided otherwise.

“Ya… bye.” She heard the other end click without a word. Rude.

 

Her lunch was getting cold but she didn’t care anymore. WTF! What do people think of themselves now-a-days? Her brother had asked her last night if it mattered anymore. She had had nothing convincing to say in return. Now, what just happened made her think again.

“Tell me about those countless nights you came crying to me? Where was he? Did he ask you even once if you really were fine?” he had asked her last night.

No. She thought, but she dared not say it… And now this. She was angry. She picked up her phone and started writing a text message to him.

“I don’t need a ‘zabardasti’ ka friend. It’s so clear you don’t need me. I don’t want any friend now. They all change! Even you did!!” She knew what was going to follow. He’d message her back, an angry one, telling her to be off and ending it with a cold, cruel “bye”. But it couldn’t have been helped. A year back they were inseparable. They never fought and were always there for each other. Perfect, perfect friendship. Their friendship started with honest confessions of the past. They clarified their past relationships. Now, Diya was engaged to someone but she was finding it somewhat difficult. She dreamt of her life partner as someone she could feel happy and alive with. The poor guy was very sweet and caring, but then, he wasn’t Adi. Diya thought of it as her betrayal to her fiancé. She had tried sincerely to forget her special moments with Adi but wasn’t successful. She wanted it to be him. But when the engagement thing came along, she knew it will soon change between them. That was something she couldn’t bear. She looked back at the horrible time when she cried on the phone, endlessly, telling him she knew him too well to think it wouldn’t change between them. “No it won’t.”

“I know you… You have always been possessive about me…”

“I’m saying it won’t. Now don’t make it worse!” And she would know it better to shut up. It wasn’t that she liked being a trouble. It was her heart that was fretting and making her worry. Something very precious was going away and she couldn’t do anything about it.

What she had feared happened. He went further away with every passing day with her trying fruitlessly to stop it. Now he was out of reach. The binding love between them had vanished. What she still regarded were the memories of an innocent friendship that they had shared. He had long ago learnt the art of being distant; and it was so perfect, she doubted if it was the same person. Traces of happy times were left in her still. There were nights she lay awake in bed and would eventually cry her heart out, trying to rid herself of the memories. In vain.

The phone buzzed, interrupting her train of thought. It was him. She braced herself.

“You don’t need me, well babe, hold your ground with this. And yea, go get your brain checked up!! You need it badly!! You’re such a waste! Bye!!” Her eyes fixed themselves on his “waste” and “bye”. They were such hard words. She remembered his previous texts that always ended with hugging expressions and a “muah”, a caring “take care!” Ah, gone are those days.

She turned back to her lunch, cold and tasteless now. She tried to eat but started crying bitterly. Of all the people, you mattered so much! I gave so much to this lovely friendship… and it goes down the drain when you call me a “waste”. Loneliness started creeping up on her again as memories from the previous night came back. Adi was such a shield from anything bad that may hurt or harm her. Now him going like that, she felt vulnerable and unprotected. Last night was rough. It had all started when she fell for someone. That was years back. Someone in her family came to know about it and people started taking about every bad thing they could associate with her tender, innocent love. She endured it all but one day she gave up on her tolerance when her mother said she feared she’s suddenly put on weight because of the special pills she took! She was bewildered… she went crazy and mad and out of control!! Can her mother really think like that? About her baby? The girl she raised with so much love, can she really think her baby would cheat on her? She remembered how she had quarreled with her mother for the first time. She had forcefully made her sit and listen, her blood was boiling! And then, after everything, they had broken up, she and him. She got over him quickly because Adi was there. He healed her to her old self. But people didn’t shut up. They still took her for a flirting little tramp, which was the last thing she could have been. Her self confidence was restored a great deal when she and her mother came close again after years of being distant. She was happy and felt protected… until last night; which started as a little disagreement between her mother and herself and ended with her confessions that she still thought of Diya that way. Again she went crazy, half mad… Had she been any weaker she would definitely have committed suicide. She had tried it once; but that had only made her stronger. There came a fit of screaming madness in her, trying to put the world back at its place. For God’s sake! I’m your daughter… How can you say that? I’ve never had anything to do with a guy all these years of my education… it was just him Goddamit!! And it was anything but vile!! Look at me in the eyes and tell me  do you really see any sign of mistrust…?? Come on mom look at me in the eye! She suddenly became quiet realizing it was of no use anymore. It is only God who forgives, she thought, humans are not capable of something as divine as that. She locked herself up in her room and silently sobbed. She felt as if she were stone. She had gone numb now. Every feeling of trust and love she had shown to anyone in her life had been thrown back at her face. So they don’t need it. Fine. She lost her composure in front of her brother and she cried in front of him like a child complaining about something to a parent.

Life had been bad with her. All she had were a few internet friends who were kind enough to listen to her. She could share her bad luck with them, but now she didn’t feel like doing it anymore. People felt sorry for her and she didn’t want their pity. She wanted a real friendship that she could dwell in and be stronger. They say you find strength within yourself, she thought as she sipped orange juice. Hell! God knows how bad I take things just ‘cause I don’t know an honest heart to share it with. She had another bite at her sandwich. Her brother had just come home and had given her a warm hug the moment he did. She smiled back. She spotted a little butterfly outside the window with beautiful colors… bright shades that reminds one of life, hope, happiness. She felt better. She remembered life again. Of course, I have my bro; she thought as she felt a twinge of happiness starting to grow within her. And this one shall pass too!

--

picture courtesy: deviantART

Ana Sidranskova - the blessed child I

(All characters are truly imaginary and this is an exclusive fiction work)



'Dad,I'm off to school,' Ana's gracious eyes made me feel proud as she headed for her school.She was the most gorgous and the most beautiful amongst my three daughters.Ana was the youngest one.'Bye,dear,' I kissed her .She was just 14 and she behaved like one of her sisters.She was just a grown up kid and she was matured enough to a assist me in my work.After school ,she directly used to come to our Restaurent.Six years ago our life was a complete mess when we were starving for food.We didn't had enough money to fulfill our basic needs.The Litzburg Mayor betrayed the citizens.We migrated to Sicily soon after we were kicked out of Litzburg.The main reason for this was Italys failure in World War II.Sicily was a different place as compared to Litzburg.Unlike Litzburg ,it was a developed city whereas Litzburg was pre dominently based on agriculture and cultivation of season crops.World War II was the only nightmare in every Italian's life as they had to suffer the most.People were shot dead,innocents were forced to live their place,daughters were brutally ravished in front of parents and brothers and childrens were forced to work.General Mussolini may have realized his needs and may had framed his policies against other nations,but the basic citizens were the sufferers.

I ,along with Robert Jenkins ,my close friend used to work under General Mussolini.Robert was 2 years older to me and had a very versatile personality unlike other soldiers who just fought for their nations during Wars.We both served for the Italian Army from 1927 to 1944.Robert was an amateur photographer and a painter.At times he used to write poems.I still remember that night when the French troops entered our Camp and thrashed Jenkins.We were forced to remain numb as we were under the threat of being killed by the French.'Take care of Sarah,'he said when he was couting his final minutes.World War II was a big source of destruction.General Mussolini's partnership with Adolf Hitler was one of the main reason for the same.We disliked Hitler,the Nazi leader who was said to have killed nearly around 5 lakh innocent Jews.He wanted to posses the world and no earthly power would ever allow that to happen.He started attacking less powerful countries and captured certain regions .He wanted to earn name and fame .For this he included General Mussolini and Japanese troops with him.We regret that General Mussolini had done that and he lost our faith in him "TRRR TRRR," some one was at the door."Hello,Mr.Agere,'Mrs.Jenkins embraced me.Mrs.Jenkins was Roberts wife.Sarah Jenkin was a very useful resource for me.I used to leave my daughters at her place during national duty.Ana was her pet and was like her best friend as Sarah had taught her at primary level.My elder daughter Natalie offered her a cup of coffee.The middle girl Tatiana came to greet her Sarah Aunty.

Mrs.Sarah Jenkins was missing some one badly and I took no time to realize that she was missing Ana."Ana è andato a scuola",(Ana has gone to school) I said to Mrs.Jenkin."Agere,you have 3 gold,' Sarah indicated my three daughters and make me feel comfortable.She said that I was lucky enough to have been gifted with three beautiful girls.She soon reminded me of the great Carlos festival that was held every year in Sicily in memort of Alfred Carlos,the legendry actor.She urged me to send Ana with her.Ana was like her very own daughter.She remained firm for a while and later on read a magazine."Bye Aunty!!,' said Tatiana and Natalie in Unison."Bye!!,"she said.She asked me about their sudden departure.Tatiana and Natalie were going to the restaurent as I had an important work in post office .Natalie was born on 1929,December26th."Its a baby girl!! Sir,'the doctors rejoiced when she was born.
"Oh Shitt!!!," was my first reaction.

(to be continued..)

As a new member

Hi everybody! I am an addition to the already existing talent pool out here. I am Akansha Agrawal and I was invited to join the blog by Stephen. Although I was very hesitant initially about joining coz I am not too much of a fiction writer, and I think anybody who's been hanging around my blog would probably testify to that. I used to write stories once, both in Hindi and in English, but then I just stopped. (That was before I started blogging) Excuses are plenty, lack of time is the favourite. But then I decided to join, thinking maybe this place is going to rekindle some enthusiasm I once possessed for writing fiction. I've never lost it for reading though, and since there's no dearth of people writing it here, I'm all ears, oops, eyes maybe.

Hello Everyone!

Hello all :)

This is just going to be an introductory post, so it's short.

Hi, I'm Mehreen. Became a member of Writer's Lounge recently. Stephen asked me to be active here, but I guess I'm not finding the proper time for a good post.

A little more about me... I'm 22, a relatively new blogger. I'm an IT graduate, but I'm into other stuff like fine arts and of course literature. For more about me, you can see my personal blog here.

In the end, guys I'm not as good as the rest of the writers here, but I'm looking forward to your kind response and support :) 

See you all soon!

Have fun and Happy Blogging!!~

Love Me, Love Me, Love Me

It was a cold winter night and the moon lay hidden beneath the clouds. Silence engulfed the air due to the lateness of the hour. I was on my way back from an old friend's house. I pondered over what I had witnessed there. Due to some unknown reason, Abhishek seemed very distant towards me. I noticed that much of his hands and face was covered in ugly scars. When I asked him the reason, he blatantly refused to talk about it.

I had been walking for what seemed like half an hour. Though I was quite sure I was alone on the road, I kept having the eerie feeling of being watched. I stopped and looked around but saw nothing unusual. I started walking again keeping my eyes and ears open for any sign of unwanted company.
Within a few minutes, I was in front of the gate to my house. Just as I opened the gate, a cold wave of air swept past me. I felt a shiver run down my spine. I had never felt such coldness even in the severest of winters. I thought it best to get inside the warmth and solitude of my home and enjoy a quiet cup of coffee in front of the fireplace. I entered and proceeded towards the kitchen to make some coffee. As I was in the process, I glanced outside through the window. For a moment I felt sure I had seen the rosebush move even though there seemed to be no trace of any wind blowing. Just to make sure, I opened the front door and stepped outside. Ice cold air stung my face. Again I had an uneasy feeling of being watched. But somehow I was aware that I had nothing to be afraid of it, whatever it was. Maybe it was afraid of me. I smiled at the thought. How could something which I couldn’t even see be afraid of me? I spoke in the gentlest voice I could muster, "Don’t be afraid. You can come inside if you want to. It’s pretty cold out here." For a while I waited, hoping for something to happen but nothing did. I went back inside but kept the door open in case it changed it's mind. I sat down by the fire and waited…
Bright sunlight forced me to open my eyes. My neck was stiff since I had fallen asleep on the chair. It was about 7 A.M. I got up and closed the door. As I pushed aside the curtains, I saw something written on the condensed dew on the window pane, 'Love me, Love me, Love me'.
I got the news of Abhishek's death a few hours later. The cause of his death was uncertain. Before dying, he had scribbled a note on a piece of paper with his blood. It read, 'She was mine'.
The thing had definitely come inside the house. I couldn’t see it but I felt it by the coldness around me. It would turn up in every corner of the house. Till now it had never shown its bodily form. Many a times, I would find the same thing written at random places with blood, 'Love me, Love me, Love me'.
One night I was sitting by the fire after dinner reading the papers. As I put down the papers, I was taken aback to see a woman sitting in front of me. She wore white clothes and even her skin was as white as snow. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Her deep blue eyes stared at me with deep anticipation. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. I got up and went near her. As I extended my hand to touch her face, a cold wave of air swept passed me and she disappeared. At that moment, I realized who she was.
After this incident, she started showing herself more often. I would find her staring at me with those beautiful blue eyes of hers with what clearly was a smile on her face. But more often, I would find her sitting on her favorite chair; the chair I had sat the night she had followed me home. I started calling her Jynx. I would sit for hours in front of the fire at night, talking to her. I poured down my deepest secrets and desires out to her. I had no idea why I was doing this but something told me I had to, as if I had no other choice. I would go on for hours without a single word from Jynx. Eveytime I looked at her, a thought crossed my mind, 'I was falling in love with her, falling in love with a spirit'.
Weeks passed by without me getting out of my house. By now, I had got used to the coldness around me. It had become my habit to wish Jynx goodnight when I went to sleep. She would sit beside me the whole night and I would find her staring at me when I woke up in the morning. One night, I was sitting by the fire. Jynx, as usual was at her favourite chair staring at me. As I looked at her, the look in her eyes told me that she wanted me to come close to her. I walked over to her and extended my hand towards her. Then, as I had expected, she extended her hand and put it over mine. I felt my hand freeze. The coldness around me increased. My head started spinning. I fell down and as I felt myself losing consciousness, I muttered out the words – 'I love you'.
The next night, I invited a friend to dinner. After dinner, we were sitting by the fire. Jynx was sitting on her favourite chair, staring at Tushar.
"It’s so cold in here...", Tushar was saying.
"You look so tired. You should take a vacation."
"I...can’t go." I said looking at Jynx. "I have work here."
Jynx was still staring at Tushar.
"What happened to your hand?"
"Nothing. Just burnt it." I had tried to hide my hand but Tushar had seen the bandages.
"Well, I must be going now. It’s pretty late. By the way, do you have any idea what exactly could’ve happened with Abhishek?"
"I have no idea." I knew what had happened but if I told him he would think I was crazy.
"Well, see you then."
I closed the door and went back to Jynx. As I sat down in front of her, I saw a tear roll down her cheek. I knew the time had come. Jynx put her hands on my face. A piece of rotten flesh fell down to the floor. I knew that wherever she would touch me, the blood would dry up and the flesh would rot. But I was helpless. I was in love. Her hands slid down to my chest where my heart was. I knew in a few moments, my heart would freeze up, forever trapping my love for her. I felt my knees getting weaker and I stumbled to the floor. Somehow I made it to the window and saw Jynx following Tushar. I knew in a few moments I would die. As everything around me grew darker, I heard myself say, "She was mine..."

Found, then Lost !

Found, I am.
By you.
Lost, I am.
To myself.

And that, perhaps,
Is why
I shall have to
search till Eternity-

If I so wish.
If I ever wanted
to meet Me again.

Happily enough,
I don't really want to.

Instead,
I'd rather keep you.



Usha Pisharody, 17 September, '07

Wedded Bliss

Energy was in the air - a collective energy of 150 people in perfect coherence with the loud beat of the music and a universal joy. 

She was the only one out of sync with this Universe. Her disconnect was hidden by a smile. A discomfort was seeping through her entire body, originating at her legs or was it the brain? They say the brain sends out signals to the legs to flee when in danger. It was definitely the work of her twisted mind, gifted with its own rebellion gene. 

Marriage – the joyful union of two souls. Again, they say. Everything she had seen about marriage in her life pointed nowhere to a joyful union but only to two aimless souls bound together in a holy meaningless matrimony. Shouldn’t a person, like, learn from his and her mistakes? Shouldn’t they, like, create a movement strong enough to make people question marriage and it’s relevance before dreaming of one? 

May be it’s just one of those things that wasn’t for her.

“Run away, quick!” Not her brain talking, but her legs. Her composed, politically correct, rightful self makes her not run away.

 “You are killing me, you murderer!” - Again her legs talking.

 A smile gathers on her face, juxtaposed by the presence of sweat on her forehead. No one is looking at her. Good. 

“I need to sit down” – her mind, feeling her legs, which are getting wobbly.

 Slowly she walks keeping her face straight, hoping no one questions her discomfort, praying for another wedding ceremony to pass through without arousing suspicion. She finds a seat and concentrates on a glass of vodka, desperately hoping she could have one. She decides to focus on something else. A tree. Oh whee! 

 The bride and groom tie the knot. The music gets livelier. The crowd gets cheery.

 “No one would notice now if I scream” – she thinks.

 She decides not to. Nothing should go wrong in this drama.

 The ceremony is over. Everyone congratulates the couple. She finds a familiar face, someone who won’t find her gamophobia abnormal. She walks towards him and he looks at her, breaks into a smile. 

“Vodka?” 

“Yes please, but my parents are here. I can’t drink in front of them” 

“Go around the corner to the backyard. I’ll sneak one out for you”

“You are a sweetheart!” 

“And you are a mess. Why can’t you just… adhere?” 

“All in the messed up genes, honey”

One Bemused Evening..!!

(Here's another fiction coming your way.)


Mr. Barack Obama, walking across me and Mr. George Bush( 2 spoilt brats) sitting by in one of the well known pubs in Washington. We were out vexing Mr. Obama.
Bush – “ Is the kid old enough to get a ‘driving license’ of his own ??”

Me – “ His aunt, Hillary would drive him, don’t you worry.”

Bush – “ Oh!, so Bill must be happy that his wife’s finally employed, eh !! Muahahaha ……. ”
Mr. Obama turned towards us, digged his gun out and and shot at us and said – “Obama..........Barack Obama..” Within seconds, we were both transported to hell.


My cell phone rang, I sprung out of my bed, muttering “ again, the same dream !! Oh God.!!.”
I answered the phone, on the other side was my childhood crony, Roshan.

Roshan – “ It is 6pm now. You were supposed to be here by 5pm assisting me in arrangements for today’s re-union party at my home.”

Me – “ Oh yeah. Sorry, I was busy vexing Mr. Barack Obama.”

Roshan – “What?”

Me – “Nothing, nothing.”

Roshan – “ You ass, make it fast. ”

Me – “ You bet, I’ll be there in 5 mins.” We hung up.

My phone showed me some news – ‘5 missed calls from my girl – Nikitha(my classmate from school)’. I had coined her a shitty nick name – ‘Nikks’, inspired by bollywood movies, you see.
Anyway, I took the risk of calling her up.
She – “ What were you upto whole afternoon?? What is with your stupid phone? Why din’t you receive ?”
Too many questions at a time for a poor guy.

Me – “I was busy studying for exams. Kept my cell phone far away so that I’m not distracted. You’ve got to concentrate you see. ”

She – “ Very funny. I wasn’t born yesterday. See you at the party, you idiot.” For the favour of me coining a nick name, she’s made a countless number of such ones for me. Presently its ‘idiot’.

I may take this occasion to say that we are the most light-hearted couples around. That literally means, I can get away with almost anything.

Anyway, after the tedious process of ‘ selective and smart dressing’, I reached Roshan’s place, eventually after 1 hour. The party was a re-union of a few of our classmates in school. All arranged by the ‘socially active’, presently furious over me and an extrovert Mr. Roshan.

Me – “ Hii..!! ”

Roshan – “ Fuck you. ”

Me – “Ya. . whatever. So what have I got to do now? Has the food arrived?”

Roshan – “Everything’s already arranged, you ass.” ( I would have, under normal circumstances smacked him on his nose for addressing me a ‘ass’ for the second time. But, I’m a born gentleman. Anyway, the world is busy coining nick names.)

Just to play with him a little more, I said – “ The arrangements look awful.”

The intelligent Roshan realized, it was of no use and hence just walked away without a word.

Meanwhile, the hall had filled in it’s capacity with pompous people. The congregation looked good. It was nice meeting all these guys after ages. Hugs & enquiries were all around. Non-punctual Nikks wasn’t here yet. My first crush, Shreya was here, accompanied with her boy friend. The world has lost all it’s ‘singles’, I wondered. Everyone dinned at her presence in the party. She was staring at me, with a sweet smile. We were rekindling the never lost, perpetual, clandestine chemistry between us. I reciprocated the stare and the smile. Like all guys, her boyfriend was observing this. So, I went forward to talk to him.

Me – “Hi, you remember me? I am Arjun”

Him – “Of Course. You remember me? I’m Raj.”

Me – “Yes, I do.” Not at all.
Enough of him, now to Shreya.

Me – “Hey, how have been doing? Longtime…… ” My eyes said – You look gorgeous in black.

She – “I’m good. You ?”

Me – “I’m good too. Where do u put up now?” You look very pretty with loose hair.

She – “Same place. Where’s Nikks?”

Me – “She’ll be here anytime now.” You still look awesome.

Meanwhile, somebody pinched me on my back. It was Nikks. “ Hello everyone”, she announced her presence. Gorgeous Shreya & the boy with bollywood’s favourite name ‘Raj’, responded. I just smiled.

Alongside, I observed a guy (my ex-classmate, of course), sitting in a corner, with a dull face. He never ventured to speak to others. He was sitting isolated, he seemed intimidated. God knows why. He was off-color. With this sight, I almost missed Shreya ji asking me – “ Can you show me to the hand wash?”
Me – "yeah sure. Follow me.” Your hair spray smells great.

On the way, I again noticed that guy, still sitting battered. After showing her the way, I approached the guy and said – “ Hey, You are Rajesh right? I’m Arjun. How are you? Why are you sitting alone?’
He din’t reply. Din’t even bother to look at me.

I continued – “ Shall I get you something to drink?”
Again, no answer, no reaction.

Disgusted by his cavalier attitude, I said firmly – “See dude, this is a party. We are here to enjoy. Cheer up. Nobody wants to see you this way.”
He finally turned towards me. He was alive.
He said “I am madly in love with a girl since 3 years now. She’s here. I want to propose my love to her.”

Me – wow, that’s great. What better time and place to do so. Go on my boy, go on.”
I saw a smile and a cheer on his face, finally.

Me – “Go on. Go on. I’m there for you.”

Him – “Thanks.”

Me – “ Who’s the girl?”

He din’t reply. Instead, he started hurling across the hall, and went straight to Nikks and said to her - “Hey Nikitha, I’ve been madly in love with you since 3 years now. Please do accept my proposal. I’ll go mad without you. Ask Arjun if you doubt me . He propagated me to come up here to you.”

"Dear almighty"

All the eye-balls in the hall gaped at me. I was ‘out-of-stock’ for reactions.


1 hour later, on the way back, me driving, in my car, with a question mark stamped on my forehead. Nikks, seated next to me, still laughing her life out. Shreya and Raj seated behind, with Shreya emanating stares at me through the ‘rear-view’ mirror. Mr.Raj carelessly looking out of the window.

“What a bemused evening….!!!”

I asked for ......

I asked for Strength...
And God gave me difficulties to make me strong.

I asked for Wisdom...
And God gave me Problems to solve.

I asked for prosperity...
And God gave me a Brain and Brawn to work.


I asked for Courage…..
And God gave me obstacles to overcome.

I asked for Love...
And God gave me Troubled people to help.

I asked for Favours...
And God gave me Opportunities.

I received nothing I wanted...
But I received everything I needed.

Live life without fear,
confront all obstacles and evince that you can overcome them..

Member of Month - October - - Sandeep Balan

I take this opportunity to announce Sandeep Balan as the member of the month for the 3rd time .

Here are the result,

Sandeep 28 (70%)

Stephen 7 (17%)

Mona 6 (15%)

The Lover 6 (15%)

Priyanka 6 (15%)

I invite the new members .The Votings for Member of Month - November are open.

PS:Sandeep Balan's name will not be considered for the member of month for November .

We can have debate topics as well...what say and we need active participation from all members ...

तेरे प्यार में.....

My attempt to write in hindi.....

तेरे प्यार में.....
जस्बात जुबां पर आए कई बार,
सुनाना चाहा तुझे दिल का हाल,
पर कह भी ना सके और चुप रह भी ना पाए।

तेरे प्यार में.....
रुके तेरे चौखट पर कदम कई बार,
तेरे साथ कुछ पल बिताने का आया खयाल,
पर रुक भी ना सके और चल भी ना पाए।

तेरे प्यार में.....
आंखों में आंसू आए कई बार,
तुझसे दूरी के गम ने किया बेकरार,
पर रो भी ना सके और हस भी ना पाए।

तेरे प्यार में.....
टूटा ये दिल कई कई बार,
तेरे प्यार में, ज़िन्दगी से गए हार,
पर मर भी ना सके और जी भी ना पाए।

The Violet

THE VIOLET

There on another cloudless Sunday morning,
Was strolling on a green hill side.
There beneath rocks I smelt a modest-
Violet, caught red-handed spreading its smell.

It was small then,
As if just bloomed-
But I felt shy then, to pluck it from the rocks,
For I was sent to fetch haystacks from the barn.

So on I went for my work-
Toiled I in the barn, cutting hay and boxing it in containers,
Sweat broke like a dam burst,
But I was still happy.

For at the end of the day, I was to take the violet-
And show it to my mother,
She might have resented, for 'twas not the rose she planned.
But I was sure she would accept it.

As I set off from my work,
I approached the rocks by which I saw the beauty,
Alas! it was plucked,
Not for me anymore!

Through the darkness....

The sun used to shine,
My world was so bright,
Till I entered this tunnel,
Where there's no light....

I struggle to breathe,
The air's so still,
It's pitch dark in here,
And silence that can kill....

The surroundings are unfamiliar,
With not a soul to trust,
Fears fill up my heart now and then,
It's just waiting to burst....

Tears trickle down my face,
As I crave for a friend,
The sadness just keeps expanding,
It seems that there's no end....

But I fight through with hope,
And keep trying to find my way,
For there's surely light at the other end,
As they all say....

One day I'll reach,
To where I truly belong,
Where the music of life will play,
And my heart shall hum a song....

The sun will again shine,
And put an end to my pain,
The darkness will vanish,
And I'll smile again!!!!!

I lie awake but try so hard not to think of u

Dad pulled over the market. The only market where you can expect everyone to be. You can even expect your lost friends to be there. Dad asked me to stay in the car as he left to get something to eat. I was getting bored. Rihanna was singing "We Ride". It was too groovy for me at that time. I looked out from the car to catch a glimpse of dad. He wasn't in sight. I stepped out, rested by the car and searched through the school people. I found him, finally!! He was pretty busy eating momos with one of his surgeon buddies. The song had finished. "What do I do now?" I thought. There was a fight going on in my mind!! I wanted to go to dad and tell him that we should move, but I was getting vibes that I would definitely find someone who would disturb me further. After a couple of minutes, I put the CD to halt, locked the car and walked towards the market. Nobody noticed me. Reason?? Well, I'm just another girl trying to find peace in here!! I greeted dad's buddy, took a bite from dad's momo and turned in the opposite direction.
Right there, I saw someone. Within a flash of light, my eyes poured tears. A tall, lean guy in a black tee and jeans stood there with someone. The same body language. And the same black tee-shirt...my favorite...I pretty quickly put the hood on my head to hide my face from him and everyone around me. The guy was far off and I could only see his side profile. As usual, he was lost in his thoughts. Carefree about whats going on around him. Dad was still busy with his buddy. He was laughing and I was right beside him, weeping. The guy could never had seen me. Never!! Because I didn't want him to see me.

As I kept looking at him from the distance, all the nostalgic moments flashed in front of my eyes. A movie started rolling. All the amusement park tickets...all the Baskin Robbins ice creams...those long drives...all of them felt so old yet so recent. I had my palms on my mouth as I walked through the crowd. I wanted to meet him. But at the same time, I didn't want dad to see me going towards him. I reached the place where he was. I stood right behind him. Just wanted to smell his perfume. The same Axe smell!! He hasn't changed even a bit. I looked at his tee shirt. As always...Adidas. His favorite brand!! He had the same ear ring. I wanted to reach out to him..call him...touch his steady arm which had always been there to hold me...hug him, for, he had been so far off...but it's only life!!! I turned back soon after realizing that he was busy. I suddenly recalled that I had to go back to dad. I had just sneaked away from him. Dad saw me coming. He had a frown on his forehead...obviously, he didn't like watching me struggling with my decisions. Dad said, "It isn't getting late now???" I didn't say anything. I just thought, "I wish mom was here. She knows!! I wish she was here..." Dad asked me to get in the car. He had to bid goodbye to his buddy. I still had my hood on my head. After so long, I had dressed like myself. The way I used to dress ever since I had started shopping for myself. Though it was pretty cold, I was in my favorite white shorts. But the hood helped me a lot. It hid all the tears cascading down my cheeks.

The guy was still visible. He was still lost in his thoughts. I was lost in thoughts as well!! I recalled all the days we spent together. Not that we're separate. But it has changed ever since my parents split. I live far off and he deosn't know about that. No one does. He suddenly turned towards my car and I hid my face with my jersey's sleeves. He didn't notice me...Thank God...He went inside the market to get himself momos. I can bet on that. Its his favorite in the market. And specially that market. I switched on the stereo to listen to Amy Lee. She was the only one who could stop me from crying. She sang ..."I long to be like you...Lie cold in the ground like you...." I rested my heavy head on the seat and closed my eyes. Dad entered, I didn't open my eyes. He didn't say anything till we reached the mall. He lowered the volume and said, "Lets get your Evanescence album." I looked at him with drowsy eyes and replied, "Which one?? I've got all of them. Besides, I don't listen to the CD player, anymore." "Oh!! No problem. I'm sure you would want another iPod" he said, trying very hard to cheer me up. I replied, "Dad, I don't need another iPod. But if you wanna go to the mall, I'll accompany you. You don't need to look for excuses. You wanted to have a look at that handycam, right??" So after parking the car, both of us were standing in the showroom. He was talking to the attendent about the price and everything, and I was listening to one of the songs in their collection...."Why do all good things come to an end"... Dad must have noticed my choice of song. He looked at me from the billing counter and gave me a smile. He was happy to buy a new handycam for himself. All kept going in my mind was...the guy in the black tee shirt wearing Axe. We got back in the car after roaming like animals for two hours. Dad made my film from his newly bought love as I drove back to home. But I just couldn't get the smell out of my senses. I covered the thirty minute drive in just twelve minutes....Dad took the car keys from me, told me he had a surgery waiting for him in the hospital and left. I cooked noodles for myself and cried myself to sleep....

What You Became

As I dreamed about you, I saw myself as I am. A sentient being, a transient of time, one of the flickering lights of substance. You were there, walking on the path beside the river that I flowed in, small particles of myself scattered about the shiny reflections of the water. The path was nothing special, just another place where we could have met. As you walked along the path, you picked up a small stone. It looked like any other stone that could have been on the bank of the river. Smooth and worn down from the elements, it had a dulled appearance. At least at first.

You dampened it in my waters to see if it would change. I felt the energy rush from the stone, filling the very essence of my being with a sense of urgency. The stone fell from your hand onto the ground. I watched as you twirled in a maddening dance, a sort of frenzy overtaking your body. Suddenly you stopped spinning. A carousel of flickering lights moved above the stone, making a mockery of anything you had ever seen, or even I myself had seen for that matter. At the ends of the flickering lights small creatures began to appear, creatures unlike anything you or I had ever seen.

They grew larger as we watched, distorted and gruesome, lovely and tantalizing, and weird odors and thoughts began filling the air. One of the creatures loomed above you. Before you could move, it had entered your left nostril. It grunted as it forced its way into your head. You were amazed. Was it horrifying or beautiful? Shaking your head, you laughed out loud.

Blood dripped from your nostril, a sticky substance that some think is the life of the body. I could never tell if you were pleased. All that I know is that you had changed forever.

A tribute to the prince

As the sun dipped in the earth’s bosom
The mighty Emperor took a “bow “

A silent tear trickled unseen,
Thunder and lightening
Sparkled and gurgled
Regaling, the blue-blooded Lord….

He brought glory
To the million hearts
Aroused passions, umpteen times
Indomitable spirited winner…


The changed winds tempted
His inborn resolve,
Sustaining the tempest
The burning spirit swaggered alone…

Now the time has come
To change the course of destiny
Sharing, caring and blessing
His subject with a born felicity ….

He bids adieu, with dignity,
Paving a path of glory
For dreams to become a reality
Reviving a charged fraternity….


PS.This poem is not written by me .This is written by Sunita Madam and the whole credits go to her.

Dada, I Miss U !!

I'm posting this with my emotions running so high. Quite a few of my blogger friends wanted me to post articles and not take this break. And I've been unable to comply with their requests for a few reasons. But Dada has just pushed me to write this. I'm just starting to miss HIM. All news channels have been telecasting those last few moments of Dada sporting India colors. And Boria Majumdar's tete-a-tete with Dada just got over and here I'm, penning down this heart-felt tribute to one of the Doyens of Indian Cricket.

I just can't imagine Indian Cricket without Sourav. What a player he has been!!! What a Captain!!! Well, all these have been said many a times but then, I want to say this once more. It feels really good to cherish those Ganguly moments.....if I can say. Be it that famours arms-up, punch the air style at Chepauk in 2001 after defeating the Aussies or his broad smile after taking that final catch to win the test series in Pakistan or that historic Lords balcony sight when he flung his T-shirt and cherished that victory to his fullest extent. There're many to note because Ganguly has just been an exceptional player, in all aspects. But he's best remembered as a leader who changed the face of Indian Cricket and gave it a new dimension in the 21st century. I'm very happy, he didn't disappoint fans like me, as he repeated the Lords sight for one last time at the Nagpur players' balcony this noon, after winning the Border-Gavaskar trophy.

He's been a special player. I'm not going to get too statistical here. Everybody knows his record as a player, captain but I'm going to pen down, what every youngster shall learn from this legend. Firstly, SELF-BELIEF. Had he not epitomized this, he wouldn't have survived this long and he's what today, just because of his self-belief. Second, DETERMINATION. In his recent interview to CNN IBN, he said he had a few goals in life, one being playing 100 tests for India and when he was left out in 2005, he had played 88 tests. That determination to make his desires deserving, is just amazing and something, we youngsters should emulate. He worked hard, really hard to make that IMPOSSIBLE POSSIBLE. Oxymorons have, many a times, been exemplified by Ganguly's actions.

The honor he was given this morning before taking the field was a pleasing sight, and more importantly, it was Dravid and Sachin up-front, patting him on his back as he led India onto the field. Bhajji, exchanging pleasantries with his mentor, wishing him good luck was a mark of respect he showed to someone who groomed him and for what Bhajji is, today, much credit goes to Dada for having backed him in the early days of his cricketing career.. Finally, as Johnson made his way back and as the stumps were removed, it was so so touching to see Dravid, run from one end, come near Dada and hug him with so much warmth. The expression on Dravid's face said what it's to miss a 12 year old friend and a once-upon-a-time roommate. A perfect way to emote one's affection for a long-time friend. Dravid's face said it all. And The Wall followed it up with another hug a few seconds later and I feel, maybe, he wanted to live that moment of his life with Ganguly alone. 

It was also moving to see Dada's facial reaction as he hugged Sachin. His lips moved closer towards each other and it really expressed what it is to miss someone who has seen every run you had scored, every ball you had bowled, every catch you had taken, every win you had got for India and more importantly, appreciated and witnessed both the comebacks you had made. Sachin had a few words to say after the hug and Dada was all smiles as he bid adieu to a career which many say, has been DRAMATIC. 

This is a heart-felt downpour of a Dada fan. Dada!!! You don't have to prove anything to anybody. It's for the world to look up to you and get inspired. You re-defined Indian Captaincy, YOU gave the Aussies a taste of their own medicine, YOU made us know what WINNING ABROAD is, YOU showed Indian selectors what youngsters could do for the team. Ganguly is seen as a man of privilege, someone who clicks his fingers and an army of servants arrives to clip his nails or fan his face. But above all, You've been one of the finest ambassadors for Indian Cricket and in particular, your ODI career has been something AMAZING, FANTASTIC, FABULOUS, EXTRAORDINARY and what not, I'm running out of adjectives. I Miss You Dada!!! 

As Dada walked along the sands of time, his footsteps are the bunch of talented players he's left behind who are currently, the backbone of Indian Cricket...be it Sehwag, Bhajji, Zaheer or even the current Indian Captain MS Dhoni. Hats Off !!! I take a bow and salute this BENGAL TIGER.

A tribute to the Iron Man.

(A poem I wrote on the contribution of Sardar Patel to the freedom struggle of India on his birth anniversary, Oct 31)

On this day, when the rest of the people around me are busy partying for despicable reasons, I am writing a 'poem' in the memory of India's Iron Man (hopefully not the last one). Yes the 31st of October is his birth anniversary. Of course, the same date has other memories for India as well, which we might revisit next year.

(The following has been written from the perspective of the Sardar roaming around the streets of India today and observing the decadence in the society and subsequently the government. I will try to give as many references as possible, if in any case there is no reference, it is to be assumed that I derived it from the Wiki article on him. So here it begins.)

I left being a barrister,
I could have been much happier,
But one man in khadi, caught my attention,
I introspected, and felt,
It was not in me, to leave my nation unfelt.

Today, I see pot-bellied barristers,
Warming benches, with typewriters,
Is this the profession I once followed?
Why sell their honor, least recognizing,
That ours is a great job, socially uplifting?

When I switched to being the Mahatma's aide,
And all my English belongings in a bonfire laid,
We donned the khadi, and fought for Swadeshi-
Today I see that my countrymen, long for foreign goods,
Doffed they our morals, to suit their moods.

The satyagrahas, the arrests,
The relentless rallying without any rests,
They seem wasted, for the people are yet,
To get true freedom, from now our own,
They are ours, and yet, they seem not our own.

The party, from which I defended,
The people's freedoms, and untouchability mended,
That party is now nowhere to be found,
A bunch of servile people, doing their mistress's bidding,
No chance they spare, to forget some flattering.

We sparked the civil disobedience movement,
To make the British quit, and to our anger vent,
Today the same people, I see pandering other enemies,
What a change, that pride in the nation,
Seems all lost, we are made to believe in a false notion.

Though charm and force, the Indian states united,
In people, the unity I ignited,
But for simple greed of power and negligence,
Today, the fabric of the nation is unraveling,
I hope somebody continues the bud nipping.

The division of India, in naivety I allowed,
Thought I, stability and prosperity would follow,
And communal tensions would die out,
Yet they are abetted,
When will human inclinations for violence, be wetted?

I wanted the Dogra kingdom every inch,
And deny the war-mongers any inch,
But alas! that was not to happen,
Now the issue lingers on,
In a bloody stalemate, on and on.

Science and technology have progressed,
But 'unity in diversity' has regressed,
Capitalism is bearing fruit, but so is corruption,
Perhaps all may not be doom and gloom,
I wait eagerly, to see the India of my/our dreams bloom.

The End.

The Immortal Detachment

As night fell, you walked out...
Never returned home and left me with my solitude
I waited for you endlessly, thought I'd be happy after all!!
Both of you failed me yet again..and slit my tears..

A pretty picture it was of you,I and you..
I see it once again, blank spaces fill your faces...
Family's just a word...it's lost its shadows...
Whom did you fool behind those closed doors??

My stark memory is reminiscent of a broken home...
Fragile heart pieces and tormenting screams...
My vision is blurred by immortal goodbyes
Who are we?? After all, mere humans...

Marriages are made in Heaven...
Which bullshit is that?? If it was so,
I wouldn't be writing my shattered life here!!
I wouldn't be singing out my wilderness...

If there is You, then there is me too..
Accepting seclusion was never so painful..
But you know, it doesn't hurt anymore..
Coz I've always felt the same way...

The Final Tribute

When I first heard the news, of Sourav retiring, I wasn't shocked, not surprised, nor sad. From what I had learned of Sourav, I just had a very strong intuition, that it would be coming soon. This man was proud, liked to do things on his own terms, wasn't bound by anything, but for the desire to serve his country. Then how could he have endured when after one, just one bad series, the media wrote him off like junk, the selectors refused to select him for a first class match, and the country voiced their opinion aloud, Sourav should retire.

But I, who has worshipped this man ever since my father told me how to hold the bat, felt only one emotion, emptiness. I knew this emotion only too well. It didn't dawn on me till today, when I realised that this will probably be the last time my HERO will be batting for his country, that all those emotions which I deliberately pushed back somewhere into the vacuum of my heart, came rushing back overwhelmingly and I succumbed to them.


Rewinding back to the old days, I started watching cricket when I was 5, and one of my earliest memories of cricket are that of Sourav making a century on debut. Yes that was the time as a kid that I started getting inspired by someone who wasn't anything to me. As I grew up, I saw Ganguly develop into a potent middle order batsman in tests, and the other half of the greatest ODI opening pair the game has seen. In 2000, after Sachin failed and gave up on his captancy stint, and Indian cricket was being pulled into a hole, BCCI was looking for someone who could pull it back and re-instate the order after the disgraceful match fixing fiasco.
Ganguly and Dravid were the top contenders, but BCCI chose Ganguly, and they got more than they had hoped for. Ganguly far from re-instated the old order, he did better, he did something that no captain of India before him had been able to accomplish, he gave them a gift of aggression. Yes Indian cricket started rising back from the ashes, under the surveillance and guidance of this great leader. He looked for young talent, developed them to his liking, supported them beyond reasonable against the board and made great cricketers out of them. The likes include Virender sehwag, Yuvraj Singh, Harbhajan singh and many more. But unfortunately, when his own form slumped, there was nothing but sympathy for Sourav, and that couldn't do anything for him. It seemed as if all hope was lost for Sourav, critics not giving him a even a second glance, even his fans gave up wishing his comeback, but it is not for nothing that this guy was crowned comeback prince.
After a draught of 8 months, the selectors called upon him, while looking for a saviour who could save the Indian team from deep dark clutches of humiliation at the hands of South Africa. He played that role perfectly. For the next two years, Ganguly almost became a dream batsman for Indian cricket, with contributions in almost every match, be it an ODI or a test. He won the test series for us against england, helped us save face by drawing the series against South Africa. Then came the Sri Lanka series. It spelled disaster for Indian cricket. Sourav failed to perform in a single match. The echoes of the critics, the media, the fans came alive again, Should sourav retire? The selectors, for reasons unknown, dropped Ganguly from the Irani trophy squad whil retaining Dravid and Tendulkar, whose performances were as abysmal as of Ganguly. This was the final blow the BCCI could give to Ganguly's pride. Then, a new selection committee was appointed which brought back Ganguly into the team. But alas, it was too late. The free bird couln't bound itsef to someone's petty discretion and go on playing with leased time. He decided it was time to go. And for one last time, he was determined to win a series for his country; for his fans. He played a very decisive hand in the match in Mohali and scored a century, and the match was won by India. It seems as if Sourav is waving a final goodbye to the world of cricket, and wants to give it a last gift. Even as he goes, he supports another youngster, Vijay, who was reccomended by Sourav first when BCCI had to appoint an opener for one match. So much for thinking for the bettermeant of Indian cricket, always.

By all the cricket lovers, players, commentators, critics Sourav will be portrayed as someone who changed Indian cricket for the better, as the best and most passionate leader in Indian cricket, as some1 who gave the most historic moment to Indian fans including the Natwest Series win in England in 2003 and as DADA, Prince of Kolkata, Comeback Prince and what not. But for me, I will remember him as someone, who unknowingly changed me into a person with better grit, more determination, better self control and played a huge hand in making me the individual I am today.
I want to say, Thank You DADA, for making my life better.

Dada serving his country for a final time:-

Some one I loved.......

I was 7 years old and she was just 2 years old when I met her for the first time in my home town.She lived with my grand mother.Even her family members were living in my granny's place.I was excited for the first time when I met her.I really loved the way she smiled.Although she was 2 years old,I started liking her.I started treating her like my pet.I used to kiss her at times and she used to lick my cheek as she was just a small kid.One day ,during our stay at my granny's place,I missed her .I believed that she must be roaming around with her other friends.But to vain,I couldn't find her any where.The same day,my mom made a delicious mutton curry.I liked it as I believed that my mom is an expert in cooking.I asked about my friend.I was shocked when I came to know that I was eating my friend.I mean to say,it was the black lamb .If you got it wrong ,then I am not responsible :p .She was adorable.But ,she was offered to god.So,we had to cook it and all.I really felt annoyed that day when I came to know that.I never spoke to my mom for a week or so.Now,after 13 years I remember her.She used to be my best friends.

I remember my best friend "Kitty",the black lamb

Rendezvous (out) Of Sorts

Scene – Feb 14th , I am driving to my friend’s place and I’m already late by half an hour . My cell phone ringing , it was him ----

Me – “Hello ! ”

Him – “You still in the car ? ”

Me – “No, I’m running alongside it . ”

Him – “You must have reached here by now . I’m waiting . Where are you ? ”

Me – “On the way ”

Him – “Okay , where exactly are you ? ”

Me – “ In the car ”

Him – “ Okay , where’s the fuckin’ car ? ”

Me – “Street 29 . 2 mins ”

We hung up . I reached his home , found him and shook hands .

Me – “ Happy Valentines’ Day ..”

Him – “Happy Independence Day. You are single right? ”

Me – “Yup.Where’s your valentine ? ”

Him – “ With her valentine . I’m ‘ex’ now . ”

Me – “ Oh , where’s the party ? ”

Him – “You teasing me?? ”

Me – “ No , I don’t tease ‘betrayed bachelors’ u see . I only pity them . ”

Him – “ Shut Up ”

Me – “ Okay , what’s the reason you insisted me in coming here ?”

Him – “ Just a casual meeting over a cup of coffee ”

Me – “ It sounds like – Do me a favour and I’ll treat with you with coffee. ”

Him – “You are smart ”

Me – “ Well , I’m here to meet you , am I still smart ? ”

Him – “ Over Smart ”

Me – “ What can I do for you ? ”

Him – “ Dude , I flunked in 2 subjects . My mom literally blew steam into my ears whole night last night. ”

I was about to laugh out loud but for a gentleman I was , I din’t .

Me – “ So you aren’t joining us for the weekend picnic ? ”

Him – “ I want to, but you should convince my mom . ”

Me – “ No way . She is terror man, terror . How can I forget that day when she blew fire (not steam) when I wore a low waist jeans and stupidly gestured – ‘ It’s Fashion ’. I’m only glad that she din’t cane me .

Him – “Hey come on , please . One last favour for me , please .”

Me – “The fourth ‘last favour’. Okay , I shall try . ”

Him – “ One more thing ”

Me – “ Dangerous thing . What’s that ? ”

Him – “ I lied to her that you’ve flunked in 3 subjects. ”

Me – “ Dude , you are shit . Any other lie about me ? ”

Him – “Sorry . No . ”

We went in to meet her . There was something foreboding about this whole thing . Meanwhile , she was blasting at her cook . I heard her shout – “ Why is there less sweet in the sweet ? ” . Whatever that is . Finally , we entered the dragon , she saw me & we greeted each other .

His Mom – “ Looks like a ‘Failed Students’ conference . Can I know what is the agenda ? ”

Me – “ Nothing like that aunty . We are planning to go to Goa this weekend . Came for your permission . ”

His Mom – “ Oh , I thought he told me it’s to tirupathi ”

Oh shit . I was lost for bad words for my dear friend .

Me – “ Oh ya , Tirupathi ”

His Mom – “ Seems like your rehearsals din’t go right . I don’t like you people lying at me . ”

Me – “ Sorry aunty ”

His Mom – “ Okay , I’ll ask you one question . You answer me right now & I’ll consider about the permission . ”

After a minute’s pause

Me – “ Okay , go on. ”

His Mom – “ Where was my son last evening ? ”

Oh God , a liar what he was , I din’t have an idea as to what he had told his mother . I looked at his silly face wanting to kill him. I deduced that telling her “ I don’t know ” would be a safe bet .

Me – “ I don’t know aunty”

His Mom – “He said he was at your place for combined study and you yourself didn’t know about that. That’s Great . ” She continued “ No picnic , nothing . Liars . ”

Totally pissed off at his sillyness, his mother’s ‘adding insult to injury’ programme and my stupidness to go there in the first place , I drove back home .

A day in my life (Muthuswamy Namboodiri)

Muthuswamy Namboodiri's background:
http://weandwords.blogspot.com/2008/10/day-in-my-life-coming-soon.html

I woke up with a start. I was sweating all over. The same old recurring dream of a yakshi(spirit) chasing me. It was around 4:30 in the morning. I glanced at my watch to confirm the same. It showed 10. Damn. I banged it twice and wound it again. This antique piece had been gifted to me by my late grandfather. The dial had cracks which made it impossible to check the hands of the watch. But I had mastered the art of using this antique. Poor thing was desperately shouting for retirement but I had turned a deaf ear towards it. How could I afford a new watch when I could hardly make ends meet here in Delhi? I would send most of my earnings back home, which left me with pretty little to indulge myself. I headed towards my old tape recorder set I had brought along with me from Krishnapuram. This was my most prized possession. It had been with me right from my school days. Days when we were well off and could afford such luxuries. We were one of the first families in Krishnapuram to own one. I would proudly turn it on and play it in maximum volume. It still manages to give a decent output. I inserted the tape and turned it on. Music filled my one room setting in Mayur Sarai. My mind relaxed in the soothing music.

"Kausalyasuprajarama purva sandhya pravartate, uttistha narasardula kartavyam daivam ahnikam…Nava Suprabhatam…….."
(O! Rama! Kausalya's auspicious child! Twilight is approaching in the East. O! best of men (Purushottama)! Wake up, the divine daily rituals have to be performed.)

"Muthuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!! Muthu you fool…..are you bloody deaf to play this on full volume at such unearthly hour. Everyday I have to go through this ordeal. Enough is enough. Ufffff….What the hell Muthu anna?? God Swamy…you are impossible….Grrrrrrrr", growled Ibrahim. Ibrahim shares the room with me. Shouting at me in the morning has become a habit for him. Poor Ibrahim. Three sisters to marry off back home in Mangalapurram keeps him on toes. Toils day in and day out at the motor workshop here. Khan Saab was gracious enough to train him and accommodate him in his workshop. Good man. It was because of him that I could land a job at the Udupi restaurant opposite the School of Management in Qutab Institutional Area. I had given up all hopes of getting a job and was preparing myself to leave Delhi when Ibrahim asked me to meet Khan Saab. And here I am today. Cleaning tables and picking up leftovers at the Udupi Restaurant.

"Muthuuuuuuuuuuuu….Come out….Will you take an eternity to bath? It's already 5:30 you fool. I have to deliver the car at Tripathi's house at 7 am. Will you come out or should I barge in?", Ibrahim shouted. You had to be very punctual with all the stuff which requires water here at Mayur Sarai. The municipality water comes only from 4:30 to 6:30 in the morning and then in the evening. Evening timings don't matter to us because at that time we are slogging it out at our respective workplaces. The music was still playing. Though Ibrahim would shout and curse me for playing Suprabhatam every day, he never ever switched it off. He knew that this was one thing that transported me back to my home at Krishnapuram and respected it. Ibrahim was good at heart. After my bath, I would head straight to the Shiv temple nearby on an empty stomach and sit there for an hour chanting hymns and offering prayers. I followed this like a ritual everyday. This was one thing that had been ingrained in me at a young age. I would apologize to god for lying to my parents and keeping them in dark about my occupation here. I would again plead almighty not to send me or my family to hell for deviating from a Brahmins path and picking up leftovers and cleaning tables at a restaurant. I would confide in God all my fears and feel light at heart. I would then head back home. Selecting a shirt to work was not a tough job for me because I was never spoilt for choices. I had only two pairs which made the decision easier. I would continue putting one till the other one would dry up. Three shirts was a luxury to me. Ash smeared on my forehead, I would head to the Udupi restaurant. The place which is the reason my family sees a new sunrise everyday. The place which is synonymous to a temple for me.

Ramakrishna Iyer, the owner of the hotel, or Iyer Saar as I prefer calling him keeps telling me that I bring in an authentic south Indian feel to his setup. My day starts off with cleaning all tables and dusting the seats. I then dust the restaurant and clean the kitchen. I bathe once again at the restaurant after this and then proceed to make the traditional rangoli with rice powder outside our restaurant. By 8 am students start trickling in. You start off cleaning tables and then graduate to taking orders within 2-3 years. That's when there is scope of some extra earnings as you land up some tips. And you land up plum tips from guys trying to impress gals on their dates. The School of management students do like hanging out here in between lectures. I have learnt distinguishing guys keen on impressing the opposite sex from the other lot. I hope this will help me when I do get promoted to taking orders. Iyer Saar is a good man. He has never slapped or hit me. He only goes to the extent of scolding me in front of customers if I get late in cleaning the tables. Earlier the abuses used to hurt, but it is fine because the customer perceives that he is treated important here. Good for the business. I used to leave my plates for the maids to attend to back in my Illam. I used to treat them very bad. Maybe God wanted me to learn. Maybe God wanted me to be considerate.

The first day I cleaned the tables, I could feel a tear trickling down my cheeks. This was my karma. But I am proud that I work. I don't laze around and am take care of my family. Any work, done with dedication is like offering your prayers to God. I don't care if my ancestors sitting up in heaven despise me for falling down to this state. I don't care if I will ever be considered an outcaste. I don't care if shuddhi is more important to them than seeing your family starve before your very own eyes. I am also doing Shanti(prayers/rituals) work that my ancestors used to do. The setting is different. The way of offering prayers is different. My ancestors used to offer prayers with flowers and milk to Gods. I do so with my work. Yes…I am a Brahmin. I will always be a Brahmin. And God will accept me with both hands when I will knock heavens doors someday. Wont he??

Mamma Mia..!!

One boring Sunday evening, with 'Monday blues' already encroached into our minds, me and my friend decided to head off someplace with our destination undecided. You might wonder, how jobless people we were. I tell you, this is fun sometimes. Only sometimes. I gave the honour of riding the bike to my friend. For the first time in his history and my life, the speedometer never crossed 30km/hr over a ride of about 30mins. I imagined - if I was a celebrity, this one would have made it into the headlines of few crappy news channels in India. Something like -"Arjun was spotted in a bike moving not more than 30kms/hr. What could be the reason? please sms your opinions to this number. We have our correspondent live from Bangalore to give more details about this shocking revealation." I was dreaming. I was loving it.
We were heading towards the heart of the city. Sunday evening, no traffic at all. Heaven. He still never crossed the 30 km/hr mark. I got anxious, so shouted loud at him against other sounds of the surroundings - " Are you awake??" Din't get a reply. With a louder voice, I shouted again - "Are you alive??"
"Yes of course you asshole. You would have been sorting out issues in hell if I were asleep." he said politely.
I shouted back - " You are in good mood."

"Lucky for you."

" Thank You."






We passed through Cubbon Park which now, in the dark looked like a jungle. Then came this huge 16 storeyed building, a mall, and an office complex. It's called the UB City. UB is Vijay Mallya's . That meant - High Class. It also meant - Very decently dressed girls in red. Think about that. We can have a debate sometime.
I said - "Stop. Lets checkout this place."
He was awake and hence stopped. The mall was about only 80% complete. Hence there had not been publicity about it, so that meant less people. Something that I can pay for, being in B'lore. We entered in. An F1 model car was at the entrance. My dosth observed it for half an hour. I was passing time, looking out for girls in red. I wan't to meet Vijay Mallya someday. Okay, by the looks of this mall, it was High Class to the high-class. We were only dreaming to be High Class. I mean we were students. Not even our grades were high class.

Anyway, we went window shopping. I swear I hadn't even heard of those names. The outlets, I mean. As a fact we weren't dressed up aptly. Who knew we would end up here . In one of those outlets, we could find some civilization. Attractive, foreign homo-sapiens that too. He said, "I need to buy a pair of shoes for myself. Come on lets have a look. " I thought that was a joke but then we entered the stall, the doors of which were opened by a guy with a wide smile on his face. I thought, I should write to Mallya about this.To replace that guy by a girl. He went straight to the shoe section and enquired a pretty stall girl (of course) about what his shoe size would be. I've never seen a person who could spend half an hour sorting out 'shoe size' matters. He tried out a few of them as well. Poor girl, she must have been thinking that we had rich fathers who gave us credit cards or debit cards.
Anyway, this guy finally came to a conclusion. His size was 9. "Shall I show you few more different varieties, Sir?" She enquired. He asked her - " What's the price of this?"

"It's Rs. 9,700, Sir." she replied. Mamma Mia

He came to me and opened his wallet- There was Rs 40 and some dirt in it. He digged out my wallet from my pocket and discovered Rs.50. Arrogant guy. Anyway, we had a magic figure of Rs.90. He turned back to the girl and said the most stupid thing I've ever heard. He said - "Haha. No . Just that, my Birthday is coming up, so hinting my friend about my shoe size."

She replied - " My boss had hinted me about people like you."

I said to my mind - Mamma Mia

The Legend of Sandeep Malan - 6

(This post is not intended to hurt any one)

"Chal baag yahaan se",said Ramu kaka.
Sandeep wanted to prove his identity.Ramu kaka refused to accept him as Sandeep Malan.Sandeep insisted and later on he flashed his I card to the peon.Later on he allowed Sandeep inside the office.No one in office could recognise Sandeep Malan."Hello ,uncle ", Shruti wished Sandeep considering him to be a senior officer."Heya Oldie!!," Mona winked at Sandeep.Sandeep was amazed and surprised .Now Sandeep's new blonde look worked very well.No one in office recognised him excluding Asbah.Sandeep introduced himself as Sandeep Kanth.Shruti,Mona ,and every one were busy doing their work and so was Sandeep.It was 2 pm ,Ramu came up with a news which he considered as a flash news for time being."Stephen sir is quitting ," he smiled.This news was a special news for everyone for they considered their boss
as a hitler.Sandeep used to call him Indian hitler.Ramu further told everyone about the urgent meeting that was supposed to be conducted at 3 pm.He urged all office members to be present.It
was 3 sharp and all office people reached the seminar hall.Sandeep was the last to reach."I guess ,I'm getting old,"Stephen D'silva said."Abhey budda," Sandeep would have said ,but he didn't.Stephen D'silva said that he would like to take rest and her daughter would taking charge as the next managing director of "Airvoice Telcomms".Hearing this every one pretend to
act as if they were sad,but in real they all were happy."I would like to invite my daughter Priyanka,"he said pointing to a beautiful lady who was standing near the door.Every one looked at Priyanka.She was tall like her dad Stephen and fair and gorgeous like her mother Parul.Priyanka came to India after completing her MBA from Howards University.She looked like a foreigner although she was an Indian."Sahii Item!!!,"Sandeep said to himself.His eyes could only see her beautiful face.Stephen introduced her daughter as a brilliant child who had done her schooling in London and who lived with her grand parents.Her younger brother TJ was doing his MS from the University of Illianos."Salle Richie Rich,"Sandeep muttered."Thank you dad,"Priyanka wished and she hugged her dad.It was a proud moment for Mr.Stephen D'silva to see his daughter Priyanka working for his organisation.Priyanka could not see her dad getting emotional ,so he asked her paa to leave .She could not see tears shedding from her dads eyes.She was emotionally attached to her dad since childhood.TJ was fond of his mom Parul.He was a Momma's child."Bhaari Item!!,"Sandeep whispered to Asbahs ears.Asbah gave him a quick punch from behind and winked.Mr.Stephen soon left the place."Junior hitler,"Shruti murmured to Mona's ears."Hope ,she isn't",Anila said to them.Priyanka asked all staffs to introduce themselves.Mona,Shruti,Asbah,Rajesh,Anila and every one had introduced themselves.Sandeep Kanth was feeling weird.Although Sandeep was one year elder to Priyanka,with his new look he was looking like her grandfather."Hey, Uncle!!",Priyanka addressed Sandeep."eich Uncle!!,"Sandeeps brows went high.He could't help as he looked like an Uncle.Asbah could not stop laughing.She started calling him Uncle as well."Sandeep Kanth from Trichur,"He
replied."Shez a hot chick,"he said to Asbah and this time he got a kick from Asbah.Sandeep started liking his new boss.He hated Stephen ,but he admired his daughter Priyanka.Sandeep is not new to having female bosses.He was aware of Nisha Malhotra.She was the one who kicked him out from"Utel Telcomm",where he worked before.He was said to have a crush on her and finally got kicked out of the company.Sandeep considered himself as unlucky.He preferred staying away from Priyanka."Bye guys!!",Priyanka left.It was 7.30 pm and Sandeep was enjoying the Rakhi Sawant show."Yeh toh bataaa ,dekhta hai tu kahaa,"his cell phone rang."Hey Mally ",She yelled and informed him that she would be coming in few minutes time.Sandeep decided to play a prank on her."Ding Dong",the door ball rang."Bhoo!!",Sandeep shouted.Richa
was shocked."Mummy ,save me ,bachao ," she screamed for help."Its me Sandeep,"he said and grabbed her inside .He kissed her on her lips."Leave me ,"she said.Richa was still confused with his new look."What is this for ?," she asked him."Stylee!! aing!!,"he said with a typical Rajni ishtyle.He wanted to make love with her .He slowly reached her and caressed her hairs from behind.He touched her lips slowly and took her to his bedroom.He laid her on the bed.Richa was getting excited.He went close to him."Ding Dong",the door bell rang."Sir,yeh achhi scent hai sir,"the sales man once again came to trouble Sandeep.He refused to buy any products and send him away.He quickly rushed to the bedroom to continue from where he stopped.He slowly reached her lips."Ding Dong",the door bell rang.The newspaper boy had come to collect
his newspaper bill."Dusra time nahi mila kya,"Sandeep hurried and settled the newspaper bill.He reached her lips once again."Ding Dong",bell rang once again.This time it was the ilkman.Sandeep
settled him the milk balance.This time he got irritated.He waited near the door for few minutes.After 10 minutes,he went inside the bedroom.Richa was waiting for him."Come naa jaldi,"she yelled.He soon came and tried reaching her lips again ."Ding Dong",bell rang.This time it was the post man."Kya hai?",Sandeep asked."Sir ,Diwali Bhakshish,"the post man grinned.Sandeep handed him 100 bucks.Sandeep went to the bedroom to continue from where he had left.He tried reaching her lips once again."Yeh to bata dekhta hai tu kahaa," this time his phone rang.Asbah was giving him missed calls as usual."Sale sab stupids hai," he said to himself.He went to the bedroom.Sandeep touched her pretty eyes."You know what people used to call us in college," she asked Sandeep."What! ?," he asked."Black and white TV " and she giggled."Common ,Richi," he touched her lips.He fondled her hair and kissed on her cheek."Ding Dong,"the door bell rang.He rushed to the door and could see his fat neighbour Mrs.Shakuntala.Richa got irritated."Some other day,sweetie!!,"she said to Sandeep.Sandeep was dissapointed."You changed ur hairstyle,"asked Mrs.Shakuntala.She also asked about Richa.He informed her that she was his girlfriend."YippO!!,Mr.Malan's got a girlfriend,"she screamed .
"Arey baapre!!,"he was vexed.
"How do I get rid of such people," he said.


(PS:not edited.please excuse any grammar mistakes if any)

True Love's First Kiss

The red of her Lips,
upon that of Mine.
True love's first Kiss,
a Love so truly blind.

Eternal flames of a burning Desire,
the Thirst of love's been quenched.
A Passion proved never prone to tire,
even with Distances so stretched.

We've Never met, yet she remains,
in my thoughts of Today and tomorrows.
Trapped inside a part of Me,
Forever to follow.

Someday, the Red of her lips,
upon that of mine.
True love's first Kiss,
a love so truly Blind.

This Love, intoxicating my soul.
I'm high in this fervor I feel.
Straight to the Heart, as always sent,
a Love I can't conceal.

I'll never let go of those moments,
that face, those eyes, that kiss.
I'll go on till the end of time,
cherishing this rapture and the bliss.

Soon, the red of Her lips,
Upon that of mine.
True love's First kiss,
a love so Truly blind.

***

Happy Anniversary my shining star. Thank you for the most wonderful one month of my life. I love you till the end of time and even beyond.

The Legend of Sandeep Kanth (Malan) - 5

(This post is not intended to hurt any one)

"Man with underwear rocks Marine drive",said Avantika the news reporter.Hearing this statement,Sandeep's heart came to his mouth.He remained stunned for a while."The guy seemed to have worn a blue color underwear,people say that some one called him Malan",She continued .The channel was telecasting the image of the guy with his face scrambled.Within no time he realized that that guy was none other than him.."Ayyo Kaddalavala ..Aaandavan eppo yaarai sodhipaan avan ukku teriyada"(god doesnt knows when he troubles any one) ,he said in his typical Rajnikath ishyle.At the same time ,"Ding dong", Mrs.Shakuntala had rang the door bell."Mr.Malan did you roam around yesterday without wearing your pants",she asked casually."Who told you?" was the question that supposedly Sandeep asked her."Headlines today is talking about some guy called MALAN,who roamed around without his pants",she winked.Sandeep soon refused to accept that it wasn't him.Sandeeps image was already tarnished in his society and this issue would be like adding fuel to fire.He learnt that only his watchman knew about this pant thing.He soon ran down through the stairs and bribed him.He gave him around 800 bucks and asked him to keep this as a top secret.The watchman accepted it and gave him a wink which suggested that he won't reveal the secret.

"Oh!! Mummy mein fass gaya",he yelled .Sandeep didn't want to spoil his so called already tarnished image.He was still having Richa's green duppatta with him.Richa demanded it to be dry cleaned from a laundry before returning it to her.Moreover Supari bhai was giving his regular supari's by remninding him everytime."Grr Grr," and it was a missed call once again from Asbah.He soon caller her and informed her about everything happened.Asbah was giggling all through out.She asked him to take leave the next day.Sandeep was depressed and felt low.He wanted to conceal his identity as Malan.Now he thought for a while and he soon got an idea.He loved that "Style " song from the Rajnikanth flick "Sivaji".In that song Rajnikanth was dressed like an European National with blonde hair."What an idea sirjii!!!", he praised and thanked Rajnikanth.The next day he got up at 9 am .As usual,he went to his pooja room and prayed.Rajnikanth would be glad to have adie hard fan like Malan who treats him as a god.He soon rushed to a near by Shopping Complex."Sexxy,Garnier color naturals hai kya",he asked a nearby sales woman giving her a big grin."Vaise ,Sandal bhi hai ",She got vexed."Sir ,tameez se baat karo don't use words like sexy and all",and she handed the garnier mens hair color to her.Sandeep apologised."Arey mujhe yeh nahi dusra color chahiye", he said.He never knew the color.He tried explaining her ,but to vain, the sales girl hardly understood any thing.Now,Sandeep got pissed off,he could not explain her.His eyes soon sighted an English woman with blonde hair.She looked like a 27 - 30 year old woman and she was buying feeding bottle for her 8 month old baby.Sandeep was not interested to quarrel and fight with the salesgirl.He went to the woman and pulled her hair as if she was his slave."Stop Stop",she
screamed and yelled, but Sandeep turned a deaf ear to that.He dragged and took her to the sales girl.He pointed her hair and said I want this color .The salesgirl could not stop her laughter.He could have evaded himself from doing such things ,but he couldn't.The English woman slapped Sandeep and one could see all her five fingers on Sandeeps right cheek.Every one looked at Sandeep as the "chttttt " sound of the slap was audible to everyone over there.He was embarresed and his voice went low."Take this and its called Blonde",the sales girl handed the hair color to him.He apologised to the English woman."Chttt", and he got another slap on his left cheek from her husband."Saala,mein maar khane ke liye paidha hun", he said to himself and
he left.He next went to a well known familiar make up artist and asked for a moustache.He made many demandings such as it should be thick and should be like Rajnikanth's moustaches.He finally got settled with one and left for his home.It was now the time for makeover.He colored his hairs and he placed his moustaches at the proper place.He let it dry for few hours.After
everything was done,he went near the mirror to see how he looked.He slowly uncovered his hands that was covering his face."TATATA TAAAAAAAAINNNN",and he screamed .."mummy ,bhoot ,bhoot ,bachao".Only then he realized that it was him.He could not recognize himself and he was very happy at that instant.Now he wanted to get rid of that "Malan" factor.He shortlisted few names like kumar,balan,chalan,dalan,milan.But he wasn't happy with any of them.He thought of a good name and finally an idea struck on his mind and he shouted "Sandeep Kanth"."Yippie!!,I got a new name ," he screamed."Sandeep Kanth" will rock the world.He wanted to give Asbah a pleasant surprise.He waited for her to come."Ding Dong ," rang the door bell."Who is this??are you Sandeeps dad", she asked him."No,No", he said .Asbah soon gave him a punch on his nose.Initially ,he was been slapped by 2 foreigners."Asbah ,stop",he obstructed her from further attacks."Sorry, Sandeep", she placed ice on his nose.She was not happy with his joker look.Sandeep had to do this in order to conceal his identity.She was impressed with his approach and he asked her to keep it as a top secret.
'Joker !! Joker Kanth",she yelled probably making fun of his new look.
Asbah was his only best friend in "Airvoice Telecomm".

The next day he went to office and he had to face some bad experiences.
"Yeh circus nahi hai ,get lost,"the poen thrashed him.
"Arey,Ramu kaka," Sandeep yelled.

"Kaun hai aap,Joker lagte ho," Ramu kaka said politely.

"Kaun hai voh joker," Stephen D'silva ordered Ramu to throw Sandeep out of the office premises.

"Sandeep Kanth ,"He shouted...


(PS: Sandeeps new look was some what like this
)

A tear Speaks for Itself...

I was entrapped in your Eye
Ever since you were hurt and went through pain..
But now I am free
I am glad your efforts went in Vain..

Why do you hide me away
And never give me my own space..
I know in my presence
You loose the beauty of your lovely face..

Every time you give me vent
I relieve you from the burden of your heart..
I prepare your soul
For a fresh and hopeful start..

However long the tale is
I cut it short in breadth and length..
Don't think of me as a Weakness
I am your Innermost Strength..