Tada Writers...

۩ सर्व शकितमते परमात्मने श्री रामाय नमः۩
This Post is not Meant for any Sympathy or to draw publicity.
On 19th July I Joined the Writer's Blog, with a perfect knowledge that I would be Leaving the Blog world in the next few months.Even at that time,I had many blogs, which i administrated and was in the process of quitting my personal blog.
I Joined the blog,because of some very interesting mix of authors on board and most importantly for Ste. I had joined the blog in anticipation that i will stay here for around 15-20 months,but the circumstances are such, that am in a bit of a hurry.
Something,somewhere happened [details are on my musings ] and as a result, all the emotions and that passion to write on blogs, have dried up.Even if i Continue blogging after this, it will be purely for commercial purpose.
Hence, I am quitting this blog.I feel disappointed that i haven't been able to contribute much to the Lounge, although i had planned some stories or write ups, couldn't shape them up because of the above mentioned reasons and you only saw some transplanted posts, which i thought would fit into this blog.
I want to write so much, yet cant express at all.OK friends, thank you for the wonderful time spent here.
Thank you all for everything
Adios
Jai Shri Ram !!!

SriLanka-Canada -India....

Muthu had three brothers of which he was the youngest one .His elder brother was very popular in the village where they lived .Muthu had 4 childrens of which the first one was a boy and remaining 3 were girls.Velu and satya were Muthu's elder brothers.Muthu's family was rich enough to employ 50 people in their factory.During those days, Colombo was a very important commercial centre and basically Muthu and his family members were Indians ,but they lived in Srilanka.Muthu's brother Velu was very much interested in growing up his own business and inspite of owning a big mill in Colombo ,he decided to start a new business.During those time Tamilians from Srilanka were told to go out of Srilanka and Muthu's and his family had to flow back to their hometown in India.Velu was not interested in getting back to his motherland.They all were born and brought up in Srilanka and leaving lanka was like leaving their own mother .Velu for once decided that he wanted to live in Srilanka and wont go to India just for the sake of living .Few days later Muthu and Satya left Velu and they went to India with the help of a boat.
Few years later in the mid 60's ,Muthu and Satya developed their own business and became rich and even they became popular in the town in which they lived.Muthu respected his brother very much and considered him as his father as Satya was the one who took care of two brothers since when his parents died when Muthu was just 6 years old.By the mean time Velu became more rich .It was known from the fact that his 2 sons studied in a convent school in Srilanka which could not be afforded by a common man.Srilanka is the place where there used to be conflicts between the tamil speaking communities and the Srilankans.The Srilankan army used to attack the regions where the Tamilians lived.Velu and his son lived in a popular place called Radhapooram in Srilanka which was the prime location where most of the Tamilians lived .It was friday and at 9 pm ,the Srilankan army carried out a major attack on Radhapooram.This tragedy costed many lives of which velu was amongst the people who died.Muthu and Satya never knew this and they led a succesful life in Tamil Nadu along with their family members .They came to know about this incident few years later ( in 1973) and they both rushed to see Velu ,but to vain there was no one in Velu's house and it was locked.Their farms were totally destroyed and they searched for them at many places,but could not find them.They were unaware of the fact that Velu died and later on assumed that they all died in the attack carried out by the Srilankans.Quietly they returned back to India.
Years passed by ,Muthu and Satya grew old and their childrens got married . Satya died due to stroke in 1985.Now Muthu was all alone with his wife as his childrens settled in Mumbai along with their childrens.Muthu's 2nd daughter was with him in his hometown.Even Muthu's children didnt knew about their uncles family and to Muthu's grandchildren it was like a bed time story.On march 1997 ,Muthu died due to heart attack and muthu's wife came to live with her son who was a very popular business man in mumbai.Selvan was Muthu's only son and it was his responsibilty to take care of his 3 sister and he fulfilled his responsibilty.Selvan's sister lead a very prosperous life and each of them had 2 childrens.Their led a very happy life until Selvan's mother(Muthu's wife )told evrything about velu and his sons.She believed that they would be alive and one day they would return back to their home town just to see their relatives.
The turning point of the story was when Velu's son "Kumar" visited Tamil nadu in search of their relatives.He came to India and searched each and everytown of Tamilnadu in search of his cousins.Finally after 16 days he spotted Selvan's 2nd sister who lived in village.She was amazed to see Kumar along with his family.Kumar had two sons called Anoj and Dinesh who just resembled their grandfather Velu.The sister called Selvan and told all thing about Kumar and his family.Selvan rushed to Tamil Nadu and asked Kumar about the things that happened to him and his brother .Kumar told that he and his brother vijay were not present in Srilanka when the incident occured as a result of which they lost their parents.They didnt knew anyone in Srilanka and off sudden few people running missionaries in Canada visited them and were eager to take Kumar and Vijay along with them.Like this they settled in Ontario,Canada.
Selvan was happy to know this and invited him to his house in Mumbai ,but Kumar refused as had to leave for Canada,the next day and promised to visit Mumbai next year .Selvan noted Kumar's phone number and his email id.Months later they used to chat through yahoo messenger.Selvan's other sisters were happy and they were interested to meet Kumar as well.
Things never happen as u expect.One would never expect one to trace back his past and return to his homeland to visit his cousins and relatives.My eyes started watering when I heard this thing from my friend.Its his real story,where he was none other than Selvan's younger sisters son.I was really proud of his family .........it was how they expressed their love from Canada by visiting their cousins in India.It was seen that Selvan had invited Kumar for his elder daughters marriage .




(This is a real story and the characters name have been changed appropriately.The character velu,muthu,satya,selvan,kumar,vijay are names used for just as for the purpose of writing this story .They are not related with the actual people )

THE TERROR SATURDAY

It was just another Saturday for me. But adding to my anxiety was the regret that I couldn't meet him in church the last Sunday. My mind was inconsolable and all I could do was question God and his verdict. I thought only if I could have and this thought encompassed my mind and perhaps I could not think beyond this unresting feeling.
Roger was heading for his MBA coaching classes which were commencing at around 11 am. I never knew about the exact timings but I thought he might initially catch up with his friends and then attend his classes. He returned home at around 8 pm in the evening.That was his usual timing.My mind was in total unrest and perhaps every emotion that came in me wanted to burst out of me like a hyper emotion. I could hear my heart thumping aloud inside me. The anxiety paved the way for more emotional turmoil but once my mind is in a state of discord it doesn't really listen to any logic.The only means to channelise my hyper emotions was to sit back with my poetry book and finish the poem I had been working on. I could go back in time perhaps picking up the tatters of the remains that had been left behind.I did not want to question God anymore. I somewhat reached the ending of the poem but I felt this strong urge in me to write more.But even then the blame game did not seem to come to an end. I was distraught and kept blamimg God for not letting me see him.I thought of going and watching the television for a while. Perhaps it could bring some solace to my tattered heart. Roger gave a startling surprise that day by returning home at 5 pm in the evening.
My ear was giving me a lot of discomfort and I could feel the twinge inside. Ma prepared noodles for both of us and we were seated in front of the idiot box watching a football match.Roger told me that the football match was the primary reason of his early arrival today.
At around 6.15 pm Ma instructed Roger to go the market as she needed some essential items to cook the dinner.At around 6.10 pm I was surfing through the channels when I saw on one of the news channels that a blast had happened in Gaffar market. But they stated a cylinder outburst as the basis of the explosion.Roger came home in the next 15 minutes and he received a call from one of his friends.I was startled when he said that there was a major explosion in Connought place. We hurriedly switched the channels and saw that an explosion had indeed happened in C.P.The second one had taken place near Barakhamba Road,metres away from the place Roger's classes were held. I was perturbed to hear that the second blast in C.P had taken place at exactly the same route which Roger took to return home after his classes.A feeling of disquieted uneasiness caught hold of me as if I was in the midst of a whirlwind. I didn't want to imagine Roger there. But for a while my mind was distraught.What if Roger didn't return home early that evening? I was in tears.I frantically messaged every friend of mine to enquire about their whereabouts. I also wanted to know whether he and his family were fine. They had come on a vacation and maybe they might be shopping somewhere.But by the grace of the Almighty all my loved ones and friends were safe and sound.The mercies of God rested on them on that fateful day.But for the many who lost their lives never to come back again.
Who is to blamed for those innocent lives? The government and its outdated policies on terrorism or the terrorists who are spreading terror like a wild fire?Why is religion turning into a self centred entity?What is the purpose behind the widespread destruction that happens after a blast?Why can't the world be a safer and happier place to live in?
-RINZU SUSAN RAJAN

Sitting under a rainbow...

I'm sitting under the rainbow
Sick of chasing pots of gold
looking up from way down low.

Some will say I gave up on my dreams,
But you know its not so bad here,
Looking up at coloured seams.

Chasing that elusive pot
doesn't seem so important
for I found I have the lot.

Friends colour my pathway,
Prisms of internal light,
A different sort of pay.

So I will sit under my rainbow
Enjoying waves of colour
Knowing it will never go.

Let me be a bright stripe
In the rainbow of your life
Forget internal strife
Let rainbows light your life

Principles Of Lust

Looking in the mirror,
this scar has yet to fade,
this scab of love,
that coated the lust in me.
My skin never liked rejecting you.
There was always that allure to you,
that pulled me closer.
Suddenly with all the wilderness,
I had to be close to you.
I had to taste this bitter dream,
and never forget you.
I had to do more,
than that was expected.
Open my body to you,
and let the creatures in,
paint for you an obscure image,
of pornography.
Death was always easier,
for you to swallow.
It started with blood upon your wrists,
I walked in and caught you in the act.
Pleasing myself was never as much fun,
as the anticipation of death.
That was the beginning.
The secluded nature of your seduction,
reeled me in,
creating a void,
in my already disappearing personality.
But who cares when you are pretty on the outside?
Fragments of the soul,
don't need to be replaced,
the cover up shines in all the right places,
when you know what you desire to be.
You never knew this,
and fell blindly into a pool of blood,
and you had never swam before.
Its funny how you learnt this way,
this spirit you painted yourself to be.
Me on top, forcing you with a delicate smile,
you fell in love with me that way.
You fell in love with someone,
who held the bottle tighter than you.
The alcohol always blurred your vision
and my reasons for being there.
I never knew until I lost you,
I never noticed the way the emptiness piled up,
without you to take them away.
And now as I stare at the world through red eyes,
I wonder why its so cold outside,
when the blood is boiling hotter,
than passion within the night.
You always held me in the right places,
and I could scream out your name,
I guess you realised the game,
and were tired of giving into a lie.
Plastic never feels human,
after its melted and used again.

The Gift of Life- Blogisode 6

To read the earlier five parts of the story, please click on the links below:
Blogisode 1: http://weandwords.blogspot.com/2008/09/gift-of-life-blogisode-1.html
Blogisode 2: http://weandwords.blogspot.com/2008/09/gift-of-life-blogisode-2.html
Blogisode 3: http://weandwords.blogspot.com/2008/09/gift-of-life-blogisode-3.html
Blogisode 4: http://weandwords.blogspot.com/2008/09/gift-of-life-blogisode-4.html
Blogisode 5: http://weandwords.blogspot.com/2008/09/gift-of-life-blogisode-5.html

I started screaming once again at the top of my voice. Alaena was getting really impatient now. All my attempts of sending her to sleep were futile now. I myself was dying of hunger. I took some mud and started munching. I saw no other way to kill this demon of hunger that was surfacing within. Two mouthfuls and I could not help crying. I had ridiculed the Idli’s in the morning. God had taught me a very important lesson. There are many in this world that don’t even have the fortune of having one square meal a day and there are the spoilt lot like me who have food in plenty but no respect for that which God had bestowed us with. But what wrong had Alaena done? She was all of 9 months. Why was she getting this harsh treatment from the almighty? I cried when I tried to give her a little mud because her cries were getting intolerable. She ate a little and dozed off to sleep. I think the psychological satisfaction of having had something was what made little Alaena stop crying. I felt guilty. But I saw no other alternative to keep her going. I wanted to get rid of this hell. I had seen enough. Around 27-28 hours had passed since I first saw sunlight in full glare. I wanted to play with my friends once again. I wanted to run around the playgrounds. I wanted to accept the gifts that my friends would have brought along for my birthday party. I wanted to take in their greetings. I wanted to show off my new birthday dress to my friends today. I wanted to bask once again in the glory of the sun. I wanted to stay alive. I gathered all my strength and screamed again. I kept on screaming. I lost consciousness.

When I woke up, I could distinctly hear the sound of hammers and cutters on metal. There was a lot of noise from these. I glanced at Stephen uncle. He was looking in my direction and smiling. That same wide smile of his flashing his dimples. He didn’t blink for a moment and kept giving me that smile. That gave me courage and I felt stronger. For the first time I smiled back at him. I could sense the feeling of hope that these sounds had created within me. I gathered all my strength and managed to scream aloud. I was crying for help. My cries were finally heard by a group of soldiers who were on the rescue act. When they pulled us out an hour later around noon on January 28, I was half conscious but jubilant nonetheless. Alaena was still breathing but with much difficulty and I could feel her move. I could not move my legs which were numb by now. A team of doctors rushed to give us medical attention and first aid. The first question I asked the army medical supervisor, Major Reddy, was, “Is an uncle named Stephen alive?” Major just patted me and told me not to think of anything else.


It took me a good six months to recover from the trauma and the physical injuries that the earthquake had inflicted on me. Alaena also recovered quite well, never forgetting to give her toothless bright smile (though now I could see a couple of teeth sprouting out of her gums). Those 28 hours had spun a special bond between us. Maybe later years down the line, she will say something. Or maybe she might already have told her parents in baby talk about what happened in her private hell on that dark day of January 26th. But I hope she forgets it. I hope we all forget it.

It was quite later when I learnt that Stephen uncle could not make it through and had died of multiple injuries right at the spot itself. There were many newspaper and media reports on the “Smiling Corpse”. He was found dead with a wide smile on his face. I could relate to that smile of his. I knew he had put on that smile just to give me moral support and strength. The thought that he was already dead when he had given me that last smile sent shivers down my spine. I felt guilty that he was not alive when I had managed to give him a smile back. I felt a great loss. He will always have the highest place in my heart for not what he taught me in that traumatic period, but for the birthday gift that he gave me that day. The best gift any friend can give. The gift of life.

THE END

Luck..!! What is that??

(This is my first post here in this blog. Nice to be writing here. Here's a fiction coming your way.)

One fine morning at 12pm, I was still sleeping on my bed. My friends would argue that 12pm is noon, but screw them. During vacations, 12pm is early morning for me. Am all alone at home, with my cell phone in silent mode. That meant I was totally disconnected from the outer world. That’s bliss man, if anyone had doubts how to attain it. Anyway, I woke up with a salesman’s doorbell. He said – “ I’m from Eureka Forbes. Do you have an aqua guard at home?”

“I don’t even have water at home.”, I said with a yawn.

“Would you be interested in an aqua guard?”

“I would be interested in sleep. Sorry. Bye”
Man, he spoilt my sleep, my bliss and my pastime. But I dint want to shout at him. Who knows where I’ll end up in life. I may end up selling Shirts and socks if I continue sleeping like this. No, I was not that bad actually. Just that I’m a good human being. I dare say that aloud with friends.
Anyway, I took my cell phone, which was so lonely, I thought. It showed me- breaking news- 6 missed calls from my girl friend, Arthi. So, that meant two more days of fighting, consolidating and head ache. I made up my mind and called her back. I thought she would say- “ You idiot. Why dint you receive my calls? You don’t love me. Do u?” but she received the phone and said – “ Hi! Good Morning dear”

I was ready with-“ I’m sorry ya. It wasn’t by purpose. Really.” But now I had to change it. I said –“ Why did you call me this early in the morning dear?”

“Haha. Half my day is over, you crazy.”

“That’s sounds so boring.”

“Stupid”

“Thanks. Wish you the same” I replied.

“Shall we meet up for lunch?”, she asked.

“Where?”

“Koshy’s. Fine?”

“Yeah. Will be there in 10 minutes.” We hung up.

I headed straight to the bathroom. I switched on the instant geyser to find that there was no electricity. After a regular set of curses to the electricity board, I decided I’ll take bath with cold water. I turned the tap. Only air gushed out. I had joked to the salesman. But fuck, it had come true. No electricity to pump the water. What to do?

I went to our neighbours to beg for water donations. Nobody were at home. Shit. I went back home, into the kitchen. There was one bottle of Bisleri water. With that, I managed with it, all the bath related stuff . That was tough, I tell you. I then went to my cupboard. Noticed that none of my clothes were pressed. Oh man. I was supposed to be at Koshy’s by now. But I had to run to the shop at the end of my street to get my clothes pressed. That took another 10 minutes. I came running back the house in the hot scorching sun. Damn, the mini bath that I had went wasted. I was sweating like hell. No power, so no fan. Damn it. With all these hardships, I put on my freshly pressed clothes. I looked like a beggar with new clothes on. It was 20 minutes after the appointed meeting time. I ran to my cell phone, which was switched off due to low battery. No electricity again. My God, this electricity had become my day’s yamaraj. Anyway, I threw the phone and grabbed the house keys and my bike keys, locked the main door and ran to my bike. Believe it or not, it was punctured. I looked like Mr. Bean. Why was luck playing with me, I thought and kicked my bike. Now I was already 40 minutes late from the appointed time. I went running down the street to find a public phone booth. People on the road looked at me as if they had spotted a circus joker.

Found a phone booth, dialed her number. Thank God, I knew it by heart. She received and said – “You idiot. You don’t care for me, do you? Just cut the call.”

“I’m sorry. Nothing went right at home . I’m really sorry. I’m leaving now, I’ll be there in 10 mins.”

“10 mins?? Haha.. Nice joke. Get lost, I’m back in my college now. Bye” She cut the phone.

As expected, I thought and walked back with dismay. On the walk back, I bought 2 more bottles of Bisleri. Entered into my house and noticed that the fuckin’ electricity was back on. I took a complete bath, charged my cell phone, ate and watched TV aware of the two more days of fighting, consolidating and head ache.

The Gift of Life- Blogisode 5

To read the earlier four parts of the story, please click on the links below:
Blogisode 1: http://weandwords.blogspot.com/2008/09/gift-of-life-blogisode-1.html
Blogisode 2: http://weandwords.blogspot.com/2008/09/gift-of-life-blogisode-2.html
Blogisode 3: http://weandwords.blogspot.com/2008/09/gift-of-life-blogisode-3.html
Blogisode 4: http://weandwords.blogspot.com/2008/09/gift-of-life-blogisode-4.html

I screamed in delight. There sat Alaena beneath a dome like structure without a single scratch but scared at the sights. I guess she recognized me given the way she toddled towards me. I grasped her tight and though I could not move an inch, I felt stronger now. Alaena did not stop crying. She kept on pressing her fingers towards her mouth. I knew that very instant that she was damn hungry. The questions that I had posed to God hours ago were being answered in a strange manner. Was this God’s way of explaining things to me? If I could interpret things for a baby whom I knew since the past few hours, then mothers can know what her child has in mind for sure. I tried to pat Alaena to sleep fearing that she would dehydrate if she kept on crying due to hunger like she was. I wasn’t a 10 year old kid anymore. Neither did I feel like one. I felt more mature all of a sudden, but scared down within none the less. After all the heart that beats within me is of a 10 year old who hasn’t seen the world enough. I thanked God as Alaena dozed off to sleep. I kept on sharing something or the other with Stephen as he insisted on us keeping on chatting for some reason he considered appropriate. And trust takes a whole new meaning when you are faced with adversities. You place your complete trust in a stranger. Had it been a normal day, I would not have trusted him with my chocolate. Today, I was trusting him with my life. It had been 15 hours since we had been trapped. It got darker because of the night setting in. I got all the more scared. Stephen tried to drive away my fears. Alaena has still not woken up. My throat was parched now. My stomach was rumbling with hunger. Anything in the name of food would have found its way to my stomach . Stephen advised me to keep on gulping my saliva so that my throat does not get parched. My legs had gone numb. I wanted to cry. I screamed. Stephen managed a muffled scream. Our screams were lost in the rumbling of bulldozers and trucks. “Would I remain buried here forever?” I asked myself. I clutched Alaena stronger. Stephen was finding it hard to breathe now. He was heaving. I told him this day was supposed to be my birthday and the gift that dad had promised to buy me. He smiled at me and wished me a very happy birthday. I think it caused him great pain but still he managed to sing a short happy birthday song for me. 20 hours had passed since we were trapped in this hell. It was getting unbearable with every passing minute. At some points I could see the heaves of Stephen getting heavier. When I would try to show concern, he would just smile back and remind me to be strong and not to cry. Alaena was getting more and more impatient. How would a baby know that he was not at the comfort of its home where the mother would feed her the finest idli’s in the whole world? How would she know that hunger and thirst did not find a place in the dictionary that they used in this place which I had christened as hell? How would she know that it could be any moment this whole rubble could come crashing on us decimating our hunger and thirst’s forever? I wanted to close my eyes. I wanted the pain in my legs to leave me. The pain in my legs was now getting unbearable. I let out a wail. I did not want this pain. Stephen was sweating profusely now. He seemed to be in considerable pain himself. He was finding it difficult to maintain that smile on his face now. Still he gave it his best shot and mumbled, “Pain is a friend molu. Pain is a friend. As long as you are in pain, you know that you are alive. And that’s the best gift a friend can give. The gift of life.” I tried to drill these words into my psyche. “Pain is a friend Meera…Pain is a friend.” Stephen uncle was now finding it hard to speak. Not that I was well off, but then in a better state than Stephen uncle. He directed me to keep on making voices so that we get heard. Else we would have to endure this torture for more hours. The very thought sent shivers down my spine.

To be continued....

FATE...

I jostled against the tide of time,
nothing is left in the journey of life.

things were thought differently,
never meant to go in such hurry.

I bleed to death with the appalling pain,
fighting to the last for what i have not gain.

Is this what is stored in my destiny,
half way through my life's journey.

expected so many avenues on the way,
but ended up like a seamless castaway.

The Bond 1

‘DV,DV,’ I heard some one addressing me.

At first I didn’t respond. Later on I could hear a familiar voice with whom I had lived for a long period of time.I turned back to see who it was.It was the same Shashank who studied with me in my Engineering college .I never wanted to meet my friends especially my Engineering friends.I wasted my four precious years with them.I could utilized that time for my MS or MBA exams.I would not forget the insults and quarrels.It still buzzes on my ears.

‘Hey ,DV wait,’ he said.

I stood for a while.I had joined Cap Gemini long while ago,but I still feel like a fresher.Being a Project manager of a project team is a very difficult thing to do.You are responsible for the project delays and the manager is the only guy who is answerable.But unfortunately ,I had to meet him.

‘yeah, what happened ?,’ I asked him.

‘Man you have changed very much,’ He was surprised after seeing my behavior.

I had changed long ago when I left my Engineering college.Even I was an active youngster till my final year.One thing that happened to me was the most disgusting period of my life.I won’t wish to recall it back.

‘What do you do?,’ he wanted to know my designation.

He was still the same.The same jealous and the stupid guy who abused me in 3^rd year for getting good marks.I was not in a mood to fight with him.

‘Yeah . I work as a Software Engineer in a Small firm,’I said .

‘You used to work for Accenture naa,’ he asked me.

‘yeah,once upon a time, but not now,’ I answered patiently.

I didn’t want to disclose my work details to him and that’s the reason why I lied to him. Once I used to be a loquacious young man, but now I am silent like a bug.I respected my friends and my friends were everything to me.But , I was backstabbed and hurt badly.Now ,I feel like a hermit just doing my own job without interfering in any one’s life.But , my friends were malefic, that’s what I feel now.

I was getting late for my office.My boss at CG has already warned me several times for not arriving in time.I had to take care of it.

‘I am getting late for office,I will give you my number,’ I said showing some kind of urgency.

‘9967$$$$$$,’ I gave my cell number to Shanky.

‘Ok dude, I will call you later this eveing,’ He replied and we both left.

Sudden arrival of Shashank had put me in a fix.Once I promised that I would never meet my Engineering friends.Perhaps that was the reason why I tried to avoid him.

I would live happily for another 10 years if I hadn’t seen him .They were a group of obnoxious worms who loved hurting people.Even I loved my friends like any normal person.I trusted them and helped them a lot.I finally reached my office at sharp 9.30 am.

“Good afternoon Gentlemen ,’ I addressed my colleagues and guests who attended my seminar.

‘Today we are going to talk about the various advancements in the software field and the various factors which comes into account while developing a software,’ I added.

I remember studying the same chapter in my final year Engineering. Every one used to ask me doubts and queries .I was an expert in that chapter,I used to point out teachers mistakes as well.I remember sheetu and TJ teasing me “Software Engineer” soon after I got placed in Accenture India.

Everything went smoothly and my presentation got over.My boss Mr.Trivedi appreciated me in turn.After the day’s work I got back to my home.I was living alone in a small room for which I had to pay a monthly rental of 11 grands.Housing is an important factor in Mumbai.People still live in small places just for the sake of living.I sometime feel that we are blessed.But ,this is not the same case in Delhi.Although its not the financial capital of India,but the standard of living in Delhi is high.The last time I went to Delhi was to attend my elder sisters wedding.It was some 3 years back. I could not stop thinking of my friends.I somehow felt some sort of discomfort and I was upset.I believed that even I was wrong and without any reason I hated them.If I had to meet my friends,then I would love to meet Akshita.She was my first crush in my life.I would call her as the girl who changed my life.

I could not stop thinking of Sandy,Richi,TJ,Sheetu,RD and Esh who were once my best friends.I spoke words that I shoudn’t have used. Well, that’s an old story .I even reckon if they forgive me.I feel that its better not to recall them in my life.

And of sudden ,my phone rang.It was a new number.

‘Hello,’ I said.

‘Hey DV,’ the person on the other side said.

‘Who is this?,’ I asked.

‘you soon forgot me,’ he added.

‘Ok Shashank ??,’ I was confused.

‘Yeah dude, ‘he said.

He still has the weird way of calling me as a dude. I hate when people address me as dude .Every one in my college knew me as DV.I am Deepak, the pride of the Vora family. I wanted everyone to call me as Deepak. ‘Will you meet me at CCD on the coming Saturday,’he said.

‘Why?’ I asked him.I was startled.

‘Need to talk to you regarding something.will you make it dude,’ he said

‘Ok sure,’I replied and I cut the phone.

I was anxious to know the reason why he wanted to meet me.May be to talk some thing about our college days .But,I wanted to meet him.I was keen to know about my friends.But at the same time, I was angry on them.I won’t compromise for the same.I just could not sleep,I wanted to know why he wanted to meet me at CCD.

( to be continued..)

Her Madness

A true story. Every word of it.

Some things are hard to define; to me she was one such enigma. I am still unsure whether I truly loved her or not; the truth is a part of me still yearns for her, her touch and her madness. And her madness was what that touched me the very first time, the madness with which she danced with me, holding me close, bordering almost on cheap obsession. I had never been fond of dancing. Sitting in a corner at the nightclub, I didn’t notice when she came and sat next to me. It was when she took hold of my whiskey and gulped it down did I realize her presence.

“Excuse me! That was mine!” was my quick protest.

"So?” she replied glancing at me. And then she took hold of my hand, withdrew the cigarette from in between my fingers and put it to her lips. As twirls of smoke danced around in the air, I couldn’t help but discern the beauty of her. She was clearly drunk. I could tell she was sad as well. There was something about her that mesmerized me. The voice of James Blunt crooned in the background…

“You're beautiful. You're beautiful. You're beautiful, it's true. I saw your face in a crowded place, And I don't know what to do, 'Cause I'll never be with you.”

Yes, it was true. She was beautiful. And I really didn’t know what to do, what to say. Was I angry? I don’t think so. Then what was it? I felt weird, unexplainable feelings churning inside me. As she took the last drag, she looked at me. Her eyes screamed in pain. I wanted to free her. For an eternity, none of us spoke. Every sound around me went dull. I was transported to a different place, and all the while she was right beside me, her eyes hollowing out my soul. I wanted to feel her touch again. There were a thousand sentences forming in my mind that I wanted to tell her, but words felt superficial.

“Dance with me…” she said and stood up. It sounded like an order. But it was a desperate plea, a cry for help. I felt being pulled away into the crowd. All around me, sweaty bodies blended and severed. The darkness was kept alive with the flashes of red and blue lights. People around me were in a trance, worries of the world eons away. And she pulled me into that dream. As our bodies moved to the rhythm, it amplified my heartbeats. I only saw her, and just heard the music. I wanted to dance my life away with her. I was dancing, like I never had before. And then, when she held me, I had my answers. She was lonely. So was I. It was a revelation. Till then I had not known what it was like to be loved. It melted me. I was drunk high on all the attention, and the power of seduction that came with it. I was in my own universe. Temptation outweighed my coherence. Suddenly the world felt crowded again. She read my thoughts. “Come with me...” she said. We cut through the swirling crowd like waves through the ocean; she, all the while gripping my hand tight as if afraid that I would let go. I felt a connection. I wondered if she felt the same. And later that night, as our bodies became one, it was the beginning of an agonizing end.

Was I being contrived? Or was it just another outlet for a fantasy? Was it a sinful ambition or an untamed desire? I didn’t get the chance to know her enough to know her mind because it was madness all along, and I drifted along the discrepancy of bedlam. Yet she remained a constant thought, an irrefutable reality. Maybe I wanted her to remain one. Something told me she didn’t want to let go of me either. But she could never possess me. It was the only truth of our connection. She could never belong to me and me to her. Our touch was an appalling crave. It did something to us emotionally. Yet I didn’t comprehend whether to her it was all about the touch or a trace of love existed. She would hold herself back, and thwart my expression too. The distance did something fatal to my soul. That was when her madness would pour in, rain in with all verve and leave me drenched and rapt. I loved the gleam in her eyes, the nostalgia that would follow and the reverie that would precede it.

My insecurity vended with time. I started to believe more in her. We tugged at a subtle part of each others' emotions, which we could never let our respective worlds see. Our bond of five months seems so fresh, I can still recollect every word of hers, written or said, the sweet nothings she whispered into my ears and the method in her madness. I still wish she had chosen me more often than the fear of guilt, and made interesting conversations a lot more times. I wish I had told her that it was more than just the sex. I wish I had known her a little better and not been rude to her that often. There was a dignity in her silence and never ever did she hurl back a mean word to me in reprisal. I still desire her in my darker moments, yet there was more to her than just her touch that created madness. Her intellect; it was a pleasure getting to hear her speak her mind. She had the clarity of conviction.

I wonder if I meant something enough to her. I wonder why it was meant to happen and I wonder what at all had us going? Our paths will soon diverge, and it’s a sin we will never divulge. The desire to hold on till the road divides and we lose sight of each other lingers on. It's a memory I will live with, of a girl who won me over with her inexorable madness and satiated me selflessly. Was I able to be with her? Maybe…

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See original post here.

The Bond - abstract

One day I met an IT professional in the first class compartment of a local train.He had his own personal problems .I spoke to him after seeing his company id .He seemed to be working as a project manager in a famous IT company.I asked him about the profession, as even I had to join TechMahindra next year.He decided to share his story to me.I was impressed with whatever he said .I felt that people should learn something from his life.I am going to narrate you a story of 9 friends.9 friends who enjoyed life at its best.They studied in the same college till final year.They were Computer Engineers who graduated from Mumbai University.They served as inspiration for friendship.A misconception l in his gang and the fight begins.Over these years , they help each other and friends like each other.Friends became enemy over a simple issue.Best friends turned out to be enemies.They decide not to see each other and not to meet each other in future.Finally after 10 years ,they do see each other.They meet each other at their friends wedding. It was a different occasion for them.They felt hesitant and finally spoke to each other.Deepak Vora , the Engineer whom I met was the worst affected .He never wanted to see his friends,but one of his best friend Shashank invites him to his wedding and it all begins .The 9 friends are Sandeep Balan,Richa Sinha,Esha Singh,Rajdeep Saxena,Tejas Jain,Akshita Sethi,Sheetal Patel and Deepak Vora.This is the story of friends.I decided to write down the ups and falls in his life ....
Lets create a bond, a bond between friends.

The Bond..
Coming Soon!!!

~~~~~~The Solitary Writer~~~~~

Party..??

Party!!What’s the first thing come into our minds when we hear this word “Party”.?

Right! Dance,at least to my mind.!

So whats Party is all about?The 3D's. Drinking,Dancing Discotheque..?

Not exactly,Basically parties are2 refresh, to rejuvenate are lost energy.After working 5 days a week,exhausted people,bored people party just to to take break from there tiring schedule.

But have we ever noticed that, In this 21^st century the basic idea of partying has changed.

Today’s generation party mostly every day,and why’l they’l not do so,,if they have given excessive finances to deal with it,obviously they'll indulge themselves.

Anyways its not about funding but its about they way they party.

Some believes in wild parties,some in milder parties some in theme..and some in sutta or that cocaine parties[sorry could'nt remember the actual name of these kind of parties:D]the more time is passing the more different kind of parties we tend to hear .

But ever we have thought that the way we party now is morally right.?The wildness, aggressiveness which we show is right?Nops,its not!

But the trend is changed,people don’t party just because they are tired, they party for fun,for flirting, for drinking,for show-offs.Not guys but many girls also becoming too extrovert and they are also indulging in all this,which is bit surprising,watching females getting soo wild,is bit weird.Guys have their trademark in partying soo restlessly but now girls also..bit strange.

Recently only that Patiala girls case happened few girls and 40 vodka bottles,,goodness me..!!!! I was wondering how can females be so unsophisticated,how can they goo so wild.Females are always considered to be more sensuous,elegant, cultured,, n more respect full than guys..how can they do this?

Where are country is heading towards?

If we analysis then,Western culture also have a great influence on us regarding these parties,all this sutta parties n all are imported from them only to our country,people find all this very interesting but in real its very destructive.people feel that doing this is a sign of high status or being very modern,but I don’t feel so,I think foolish people do so.

We people are soo busy in our lives that we have started living are lives blindly ,I mean we have forgotten that innocent charm of partying.Partying is eating dancing,a time to socialize,pampering ourselves but today it is a status symbol the more expensive discotheque the more your looked upon,the more u can spend on smoking, drinking,and Drugs the more rich you are,the more you can flirt with girls the more dude u look,whole scene is changed we ourselves have degraded this ‘party’ feel..

Sometimes these parties spoils lives of so many people,people tend to experiment with different cheap things and at the end, they end up spoiling there careers,may be sometimes lives..

Its sounds so unhealthy partying these days..its more of depression than of rejuvenation.

Its sad to see that, where we are heading towards,its surely not a better world.

Note:This post is originally posted by me on my personal blog Unpredictable Life.

Tryst with teenage - Part 2

Before I start with the discussion, I would like to rewind myself 4 yrs back, the time I entered teenage with all worldly desires. I would like to look back at my own thoughts, how I perceived things then and how different are my perceptions today. What was my affinity to soft-porn and porno stuff ? Did I ever watch porn ? What influence peers had on me ? Whether my teenage was lived to the fullest ? How do I see myself as I leave the teenage world ? If ever I experienced eroticism ? If ever I experienced aestheticism ? How did I differentiate then ? Lots of questions remain unanswered. After answering and analyzing all these, I’ll draw conclusions. This topic certainly needs much time to jump to the right conclusions.

All written here is straight from my heart. People who get hurt when things are told blunt shall keep away and not read this part. Those willing to read with an open mind shall go ahead.

I remember, it was an April afternoon and as I was about to doze off, entered my cousin (5 yrs elder to me). I was upstairs and the rest of the family downstairs. He entered, switched on the TV and told me to tune in toFTV. This was, if I’m right, 8 years back when I was in class 8. I had no idea what it was and kept changing channels and once that channel was on, he enthusiastically told me ’An interesting channel da this one’. I was not-so-much bothered. He watched for a while and then left. When I think of his enthusiastic dialogue now, I guess he had told just to ensure, I get convinced that FTV was just like any other channel. After a few days, on a boring summer evening, I was reminded of this channel and switched it on. The show on air was ‘LINGERIE’. Maybe that was the time when I reached puberty and no wonder my eyes began looking to my left and right rather than straight at the TV. I made sure I was ready to change the channel if at all my parents give a sudden entry and my thumb impression was inscribed on the ‘NEXT PROGRAM’ button. I was so smart that I used to flick 2 channels so that even if my parents press the ‘PREVIOUS CHANNEL’ button, I would be safe. Hee...hee. I was clever, rather cunning. This continued for hardly a few weeks and I put a full stop to this practice to avoid seeing myself  in a mess. This was my first experience with eroticism. 

If FTV was what enthused boys at their early teens, it is pornography that rattles the hormones of all guys when they enter high school. That's the time when the testosterones are desperate for hyper-action. My experience with porno dates to that one and only day at my friend’s place when I watched Angelina Jolie’s sex scene in the film ‘Original Sin’. I had a horrendous time that evening as I pedaled my way back home from his place. A guilty feeling pervaded my heart and I felt, it was a SIN that I had committed. Never after that did I watch porno. The guilty feeling apart, I also found nothing enjoyable (unlike my friends) to be honest and the motion / activity on screen was disturbing. That was the only day I watched porno and till date, I’ve never visited a porn site. Even today I see most of my friends hooked on to porno and they’re addicted so much. I request if any of you guys reading this write-up could actually share with me your first feel at watching porno. I’m an exception here because I didn’t like it. It’s strange or rather I’m curious to know what actually describes that feeling best and this is where I'm pushed to believe in Pantheism and above all, in the omnipotence of God. I'm unable to justify this connection with God but my instinct drives me to relate them. As for peer influence on me, I’m glad to say, none of my friends forced me to give them company in watching such stuffs and even if they were to, I’m sure I wouldn’t have backtracked. I’m a person strong in my principles and do only things I feel is right for me.

Read the previous sentence again. There’s this peculiar me wherein I feel something is not wrong but when it comes to me doing it, I’m hesitant. Yes!!!! To me, watching porno or arousal of erotic feelings is not bad but somehow I’m not convinced to get myself involved. The reason is, the moment the very thought of watching porno strikes, my heart gets fenced with guilt and fear. It’s an instant feeling and I’m unable to act against my heart. It’s not mandatory that one should watch porno but watching it is no wrong in my opinion. It's part and parcel of everyone's life and one should get to know these things. Though I was averted to watching porn I made sure, I was aware of all porno terms. Guys are sometimes, looked at with contempt if they behave too naive and I agree, it's essential one doesn't see himself a stranger to the land of eroticism.

As I had stated in the previous post, there’s that thin, impenetrable blurring line separating aestheticism and eroticism. As far as I’m concerned, it depends from one person to another. Let me cite one example, the Tamil film Billa (2007) had a scene wherein the heroine Nayanthara , in most people's opinion, scorched the screen with a two-piece bikini and went gaga over it. But to me, neither aesthetic nor erotic feelings were aroused. The reasons for which, I don’t want to disclose and make this space more erotic with my descriptions. While the same Nayanthara in the film Vallavan succeeded in MISSION EROTICISM & AESTHETICISM. One example of eroticism is the song Jaadhu Hai Nasha (Jism). I know you're reminded of  the video... No, here, I refer to Shreya Ghoshal's rendering of that song. Wow!!! that was stunning. She sung at her SEDUCTIVE BEST. The best example I could cite for aestheticism would be a Rani Mukherjee or a Meg Ryan. It’s more of the skin that makes one get erotic. And that’s why I guess, a Namitha has huge fan following down south. I’m sorry to say, I just can’t watch her for more than a second and I still wonder how people watch her. And if there’re two ladies whose pictures I can watch on and on, it would be Meg Ryan and Shreya Ghoshal. The very look at their faces spell beauty. Meg Ryan is like wow!!!. Her cute smile with her eyes blossoming with sparkle really makes me go crazy and You've Got Mail (1998) showcased her beauty at its best. My not getting exposed to too much of their skin is, I believe, the only reason which make them arouse in me, the aesthetic feelings alone.

Eroticism, in my opinion is just like any other feeling which elevates a person to the next level of excitement. It’s a feeling to be respected and if there’s anyone trying to show that in poor light, my reply is ‘I’m sorry boss, you’ve got it all wrong’ I would like readers to answer this…What makes parents prevent their children from watching porno? Or rather why boys hide or shy away from parents while watching porno? Is the latter a result of the former? My question might look stupid to a few, but just give a serious thought about it and post your comments. It should end up an interesting discussion. Looking forward..

As I acknowledge my exit from the realms of teenage, I leave a happy man. I enjoyed, knew where my limits lied and stayed well within them (was never austere though). Thank God !!! I never got caught by parents for all wrong reasons unlike many of my friends who have witnessed all miseries. :)

This write-up demanded quite AN INTROSPECTION...must say

The Gift Of Life- Blogisode 4

Today is the birthday of one of the founding members of this lounge...Miss Asbah Alaena..The Charcoal Scratcher...A great writer in the making...She weaves magic with her words...It was her Izterab(http://asbahandwords.blogspot.com/) that got me sit up and take notice...Friendship happened and i cherish having such a talented partner. Many many happy returns of the day Islex..alias..Asbah....May all your wishes come true and may your pen conquer more hearts...wishing you the very best.....Sandeep and Stephen...Hail the trio.....He he....May our toddler named Writers Lounge grow into an kid we all are proud of... Cheers!!

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To read the earlier three parts of the story, please click on the links below:

Blogisode 1: http://weandwords.blogspot.com/2008/09/gift-of-life-blogisode-1.html

Blogisode 2: http://weandwords.blogspot.com/2008/09/gift-of-life-blogisode-2.html

Blogisode 3: http://weandwords.blogspot.com/2008/09/gift-of-life-blogisode-3.html

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I screamed…. I screamed at the top of my voice. My screams got lost in the cries of help that were originating from everywhere. “Oh God! What have I done to go through this torture?”, I was shouting at the top of my voice. People who were trapped were moaning in pain. Apart from some bruises, a sore neck and the tangle my legs had got into, I had managed to come out unscathed.

I wanted to get out of this dust and rubble this instant. I was struggling for fresh air. It was suffocating. My white uniform no more seemed white. It was eerily brown. “My class teacher would give me a sound scolding if I will reach school like this on a Republic day. Aiyoo! She will make me stand on top of the bench. Please don’t keep me trapped in this place. I will get a sound beating from my mother for going out of sight for too long. She won’t even know that I am trapped down here. Please help me god! I promise not do any sort of mischief in future. I have learnt my lesson. Now please get me out of this mess. Pleaseeeeeeeeeee!”, I pleaded to the almighty. All my prayers seemed to be falling on deaf ears as of now. I could not remember for how long I kept pleading for help. It had drained me of all my energy and I soon fell asleep. I don’t know for how many hours I slept. The screams that were so strong hours ago now seemed muffled and feeble. It seemed hope had started draining out of their bodies. All the escape routes seemed to be cut, but a dust-choked pocket of air kept me going.

I tried to look around for some help. I saw an elderly male trapped till neck trying to wriggle out of the mess he had got into. His efforts were reducing in intensity with every attempt which indicated that he was in this act for long. He had a thick moustache which was as dark as his complexion. It was the only thing that added some years to his erstwhile boyish looks. I could bet that he had grown them to give the same impression. He had trimmed the hair on his head really short but they could not hide the curl in them. He could have easily come across as a dark skinned foreign national with his looks. He had dust smeared all over. He seemed to be muscular fellow, which I assumed from his square jaws and the way the nerves of his neck stood out and seemed to bulge out every time he tried to push down the beam that he was trapped under. Though very dark, there was something in him that would capture your attention. Suddenly he looked in my direction and our eyes met. He gave me a reassuring smile. I noticed his stained teeth. He had to be a tobacco addict like my uncle. These stains were so similar. Thinking I was scared by his looks, his smile grew wider. I saw two perfect dimples form on both his cheeks. I tried to smile back. It was here that I realized that to maintain a smile in the face of extremity is the toughest thing to do. I could not even force a smile back. All that I could manage was a few tears that were now streaming continuously from my eyes.

The man started speaking in a choked voice, “This is Stephen here…..You….ehhhh…You can call me…aaahhhh…Ste…Ste…Stephen uncle. I hope you are not…not…scared of….me. Ha ha ha…aaahhh..I never thought smiling would cause me so much pain…ouch! Yaa…I was just hoping….God..aaaahhh..just hoping that you don’t start crying as well looking at me. All the kids who catch a glimpse of mine start crying. They can’t stand my…my…aaaaaahhhh…….appearance. They slip into…depression..he he he…ohhh..but you seem to be a…aaaahhhh…brave lil girl. I had this nickname back in college..ha ha ha…aaaaahhh….My batchmates used to call me Stephen IAS. Ohh..you are a kid. You wont know what an IAS stands for. It is the acronym for Indian Administrative Services(IAS). Not that I was academically brilliant and a surety for civil services…. IAS stood for Invisible After Sunset…ha ha ha..ouchhh!! You have some pretty smart guys good with such acronyms….ha ha ha…just imagine…IAS! Who could come out with such…such…ouchhh…such gem? I just grew in height…just like that….ha ha..nothing else changed…the same boyish looks….but this complexion and the curly hairs on top scare the kids away. I don’t intend to make them cry, but…aaaaaaaahhh….I see that you are not scared looking at me…Great…Don’t be scared of this hell we have got into either child….eeehhhhh…..Its not long before the rescue team arrives and pulls us out of this hell. Just relax and don’t cry. The tears would dehydrate you quickly. Even if you want to cry very badly, don’t.” That words registered like God’s command in my ears and I made an attempt to stop this flow of tears.

A resounding cry of a baby made me strain my neck towards my right. My heart leapt at the sight. I could not believe my eyes.

To be continued....

Her Last Words ...

It wasn't supposed to be a hunky dory! Was it?? Nope...not at all...I always thought that I was about to have a perfect life! You know why! I felt that I was finally going to have a happily ever after...I guess, thats why Shane always said "Be careful what you whisper" but why now? Why now?? Now that everything was going smoothly. He painted a room for me. He was so sweet...so caring..so trustworthy...No?? I don't know. I still don't know! And i would never know anything. Anything at all...Maybe because I was being a fool all this while...maybe because he was just the right kinda guy I always dreamt of, but I wasn't the kinda girl he wanted. Maybe because I needed him more than he needed me! If he wasn't faithful, then why did he spend a spectacular deal for the house?? why did he paint my room for me on my birthday?? why did he tell me that he loved me?? why did he say then that he didn't care if I was an India...If at all this was true, then why did he leave me starved?? It was meant to be "my" life! And another life is about to be born..then why now?? Am I asking too many questions? Yeah! I am! I am sorry...I apologize for giving you the fright of your life, Fred! I never cared if you never were able to speak my name! i didn't know...you knew way too many of them, that you forgot the name of the girl you lived with!! My brother was angry...he was annoyed of me...for I was living with you at the age of merely seventeen...How would he feel now?? After YOU tell him that YOU were cheating on me?? After YOU tell him that YOU only wanted MY money?? I cannot believe you...and I will not believe anyone!! For me...you were my everything. I went against my brother to live with you...the brother who did everything for me after mom died...the one who never let me feel lonesome when dad re-married!! But now, its time to fix everything. And I'll fix each and every piece of this situation...You know, I once had a dream of you, me and our family...What happened to that dream now?? I don't know! Your words still echo in my ears Fred..."Get out of my life and my house, Ashi!!" Your straight face said everything...it told me that you weren't lying...But i still won't believe you...
You are not reading this page, I am sure! This page would probably be washed away after a few minutes! Its my best friend's birthday today! I didn't wish her...because of you Fred...and I know after Shane comes to know of my impending death...she will never forgive me...probably nobody will....I wish I could tell you for the very last time how much you made a difference for me! I wish I could tell you for one last time..that...It was always YOU..and it always will be YOU...I am not over you...I can never be...but I'll free you of me! I apologize for the step I am about to take...

This is what she wrote just a few minutes before her death. The paper was full of blood drops. I wish I could read the whole entry..but it was too gory...
There's only one thing here....People come and go. Some are faithful, others are not. But, life does not and SHOULD NOT come to an end. No one has the right to kill oneself. Your life is the most priced possession. Keep it safely....nurture it with love and cover it with warmth...
Every beginning has an end...But in Life...every end is only the new beginning...

I Have realised that,,,

This Pic, From the Blog Enlightenment
۩ सर्व शकितमते परमात्मने श्री रामाय नमः۩
In My previous Post i had called upon and initiative called the "The Feedback Month"
Although there are many suggestions i wish to point out,but we only have to make one suggestion.
Among all the different Ideas running in my mind, I want to share my thoughts on the blog template we have here.Black is not my personal favorite color but that's not the only reason i find this template not up to the mark of writer's lounge.
Many bloggers use this template for there personal blogs, but i feel,that for a group blog,this is not very apt.The reason being that here many authors post in different fonts and colors, and only in a light background will their beauty glow.This is what i feel.
Members,Readers,Writers pour in your thoughts regarding the blog template in the comment section, and suggest ways to improve the blog by participating in the feedback month.
Thank you
____________________________
I would be leaving this blog due to some personal reasons.
My Last post,would be up soon.
Voila!!! We have 13 followers for this blog.Cummon members,we are doing good here it seems.
And yeah.Wishing Asbah a very very very Happy Birthdayyyy
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Jai Shri Ram !!!

Tarnished Dreams ....

Little Amy had a dream.
To excel in every stream.
A day in her life shatteringly dark.
left her wounded,bereft of her innocent luck.
She weeps with reminiscences
Submerged in a life time of painful reminders.
A dark cloud puts her to shame.
Seeing her innocent face,
the emotions wails like a silent dirge
Ruined by a monster at an early age,
she is locked in a pain filled cage.
Poor Amy left filled with loathings
She never speaks nor she smiles.
Calm down Amy ,is what all say.
The huge monster ,
a familiar face,ravished her puritan self.
shredded her virtue with a cruel dagger.
A word of comfort is what she seeks,
But there's no one to soothe her meek pleas.
Poor Amy, cries and weeps thinking ,
of what she would do in the face of adversity.
Shame and fear sealed her resolve.
reminding her of the unholy violence.
She wanted to remain away from these thoughts.
She recalls the horrifying crusade against her,
If only she could have done something to erase the hurt
Fear kept her frozen to the spot.
She became weak and even feeble.
She recalled the little girl that she used to be.
She curses her fate that lead her to vain.
which included tortures and pain.
Poor Amy, cries and weeps thinking ,
of what she would do.
Her dreams are gone,
She needs a helping hand.
Atlast, she is a solitary soul,
Shattered and left alone without any dreams to galore.....

story of LIFE !!!

A murky shadow that starts to grow up when you are born... Keeps on shifting its course escalatingly, comes under your feet, takes you to the acme of the mortality and over again it starts declining and start laying at your front... you just want to grasp it.. Want to capture it... But it runs ahead of you... Leading you to nowhere and when you get sapped and reach the zenith of your thirst for it. It sets...Taking you with it in the "murky grave" forever...never to rise again!!

Will You Not Come Back To Me?

Darkness cleaves at my blinding eyes,
my twisted soul no longer cries,
the rant of qualm still mocks at me,
I stumble in pieces of obscurity.

This sense of loss still lingers here,
I’m tortured by the gloom of fear,
no longer will I give in to pain,
the imp of hatred has been slain.

I have emerged from rancor and rue,
a rebirth of love to take me through,
Will you not come back to me,
or are we just not meant to be?

Am I still the reason same?
Am I still the one to blame?
If my ardor could lead to sorrow,
will I be the same tomorrow?

Through bedlam and through anguish too,
I would mend the acrimony in me and you,
This lurid dream of lonesomeness,
of bitterness and wretchedness.

I have emerged from rancor and rue,
a rebirth of love to take me through,
Will you not come back to me,
or are we just not meant to be?

Answer Me Just Once..Please!

Don't you sometimes feel that you're doing everything to make others happy but they're only more upset with you? I have felt that very very recently! I smile to make others smile. I crack jokes to make others feel good about themselves. I even sing when they're low! And I am not doing it for strangers..am doing it for those for whom I care. I console them when they cry, then why today when I am crying, none of them showed up? Why does time always plays around with me?
The moment I cry, everyone makes a face and goes. I do not expect them to come and console me. But at least they should not make a joke out of it. Why is it that the people closest to me fail to understand the reasons of my sorrow? Why is it that the only ones who ever understood me have gone away forever? They would not let me be alone with myself. Neither would they understand me. They would not even make an effort to understand!

I then decided that I will never cry in front of anyone! Anyone..means everyone!! Its better to cry and weep off alone than watching your tears getting wasted in front of those who never cared for them. And I actually thought that I had some "understanding" people around me! Why am I the only one to suffer all this? I had never done anyone any wrong. Then, why is God so mean to me? Why can't He just let me live a normal life? A life like evryone else's. I don't want to be different anymore!

me.. The creation

me... The Creation
Invoked by the selfness
It bothered the feud of fiendous
Flicker of vivid deed
Ensued the soul with an acmic clout
It so astounded me
It so tranquiled me
The entire “I” rejuvenate
To the fangled me
So pliant so fine
So is my Allah’s compassion
Revealed to His creation,
Crammed with the vices
So dire, so nasty
But He’s the Compassionate
He is the Beneficent
He is my Author
He’s scribbled me
The way He sought
My beloved Lord

I promise I will be back soon...

You have been a great inspiration for me.
At times I struggled ,you were the one who supported me.
When all were against me,it was you who was on my side.
When I cried ,you were the only one who soothed me.
I was looking for help and it was you who stood by me.
You always thanked me ,but I owe all my credits to you.
You were annoyed when I spoke against our loved ones.
You have been a friend,guide and a philosopher.
your suggestions always helped me.
A peice of advice was all that I required from you.
I hurted you, made you cry and even sad.
Even then you called me a best friend.
You always want me to be first in life.
You got angry when I wasted my time.
It were you who changed my life.
My life would be incomplete without you.
You scolded me when I was naughty at times.
You helped me,when I was tired.
You accompanied me when I nervous.
It was on your shoulders that I relied much.
I trusted you and you trusted me.
But now everything is gone,
Every one is against me.
But I don't care ,but I do wait only for you.
I am going ,
I am going forever.
Thank you for all that you have done for me.
Thank you for considering me as a best friend.
Kill me,hurt me ,leave me.
But do remember me,
for I remember you as a person who changed my life.
I am going,far and away,
but will back soon.
Do remember me for the rest of your life.
Only thing I can say you now ,
Keep waiting,
I promise I will be back ,as soon as possible.

An Unexpected Friendship

"Guys, let's start...C'mon, squeeze your brain cells, we are supposed to submit the model tomorrow evening", I exclaimed as I heard a knock at the door. " You're just five here right ?, one more guy can accompany you and that'll make it six " said the volunteer of Kriya 08. ( Kriya ?? Yeah..we were at PSG Tech Coimbatore to attend their National Tech Fest ' Kriya ' in February 08 ). " Fuck !!! Why do these people push in unknown commodities into our room and invade our privacy ?? ", I murmured with disgust. Though I knew it's not right to exercise my control over the room allocations, I was frustrated with the addition of one more guy.

" Hello Guys, I'm Chandrasekhar doing Mechanical Engineering at SASTRA, Tanjore ", the unknown commodity started. One look at his face, he looked a thayir saadham ( meaning curd rice...the term is generally referred to people who look antiquated with a tinge of innocence written all over their face. I'm always very frank in my views when it comes to blogging and so...sorry Chandru if it was offending you ) and I introduced myself " I'm Rajesh doing Mechanical Engineering at SRM ". " Oh!! SRM ah? ", he was quick to reply. The conversation proceeded and as it went on and on, we completely forgot about the windmill model we were supposed to do and I was so much involved in my conversation unlike my friends who were just listening to ours as though a tete-a-tete was going on between us. He started talking about his college, blah blah, life at his home town Trichy , the reason as to why the train arrived late that evening, and after some time, as he continued, the intensity of my conversation changed drastically from

' not-so-bothered ' to ' very-much- bothered '.

The first one which made me raise my brows was his mammoth GRE score and he followed it up explaining about his internships at Saint-Gobain and IIT Bombay. This was where my friends got into the conversation and it was as though we were having a free career counseling session. What I admired in him was his confidence, mature talk and eye contact when he started to interact with us. It's always tough for anyone to adjust and share a room with five unknown faces at least in those initial moments. I was totally stumped and was in awe of his attitude. He seemed ready for his MS explaining his future plans and was conversing at ease and never really felt like a stranger stranded in a room. His confidence and mature talk, this is something I should learn from him. He offered us a few slices of bread not knowing the fact that we had just finished a sumptuous dinner and after compulsion, we heed to his offer. Finally it was time to sleep and we dozed off.

Next morning as I was rubbing my eyes still wondering if that was the right time to get up, he was ready in formals, working on his laptop and looked all charged to present his project at the fest. We went together to have our breakfast just in time before they could pull down the shutters of the mess hall. Post-breakfast, we parted ways and we got busy with the project and he went straight to his workplace. Although we had planned for a movie that evening, things just did n't seem to materialize as we were held up with our project and things finished late that evening. We had dinner together after some serious search for a decent vegetarian restaurant nearby. After dinner, we exchanged views about each others college professors, current affairs, our notorious acts in college and it was laughter that filled the air around as we strolled our way back to the hostel. Though we started playing rummy, the diplomat he is, did n't join us and slept very early.

Next day evening, it was time to say goodbye - he was ready to leave for Trichy and we were all set to get back to Chennai after winning the third place in the windmill design competition. I was stranded in the college campus meeting my school friends and couldn't catch up with him at the hostel. He called on my mobile, asked me to come out.... waved his hand from the other end and then crossed the road. We exchanged pleasantries " Bye da...take care...all the best for your MS...keep in touch ", I said. With so much affection, he wished me best of luck for my future and one comment of his made me very emotional. He cuddled me saying " I really made a very good friend in you and I'll surely miss you da...do stay in touch " . I've always considered 

' the hug ' to be the best form of expressing one's affection and hence it was very touching. He was very kind enough to text me the next morning ' reached home safely da...bye....take care.. keep in touch '.

' Wow!!! a person with such a golden heart ' I wondered after reading that sms..

The Kiss (part Four) Girl side of story continued!

---------------------------------------------------------------
Original post by "The Lover":
Her : I'm sorry. Forget what happened. That will be best for us.
Me : Do you think that just a sorry will make everything go away?
Her : Well, all I can do is apologise for that night. Just forget what happened.
Me : What about the kiss?
Her : It didn't mean anything.
Me : A Kiss Always Means Something...
What did it mean?

Asbah's take on the same and her twist:
Him : I'm sorry. Forget what happened. That will be best for us.
Me : Do you think that just a sorry will make everything go away?
Him : Well, all I can do is apologise for that night. Just forget what happened.
Me : What about the kiss?
Him : It didn't mean anything.
Me : A Kiss Always Means Something...
Him: Sometimes few things have no meanings. Nothing, I'm sorry. I'm not for you, trust me.
Me: Smiles.
Him: thankyou! thankyou for understanding.
Me: Smiles again.
Him: Goodbye!
*a gun shoot, sound of a bullet piercing in the skin, smell of something burning, the red color over the carpet and the floor.*
Me: Smiles. when I kissed you I told you one thing; if I wont be yours sweetheart, remember you wont be anyone else's.

Sandeep's version of the continuation:
I dashed out of his house and walked towards my car fuming and cursing myself for trusting a cheat. My tears seemed to have dried up. Probably he was not worthy enough

to deserve them. I had no feeling of remorse within. No sooner had i reached my car that i noticed a bouquet of blue roses, which were my favorite, kept atop it. I couldn't get

a hang of what this meant. With trembling hands i reached out for the letter tucked in between the flowers.

"Love....Happy April fool's day!
My dumbhead...how could i ever afford to let you walk away just like that....
you sealed our love with that kiss. It meant the world to me.
I love you."

I stood there dumbfounded. My throat went dry all of a sudden. My legs seemed to give away. I gathered myself and rushed to his house. He lay there in a pool of blood.

Me: Ohh...What have i done? Ohhh god!!
Him: ..............
Me: Am so sorry dear...am so sorry...Please keep your eyes open...Stay awake...Please..Oh God!
Him: ..............
Me: Here....take this gun and shoot me. I dont deserve to live. Not without you. Please.
Him: ..............
Me: Please say something...Please...I wont be able to forgive myself ever.
Him: ..............
Me: Shoot me....Kill me....Curse me....Please.......Say something....Ohhhh Godddd...
Him: ......A....KKKK.....KKiss.......Always......mmmm.....means sss.......somethinggg..................aaaaahhhhhhhhh........ ........... ...... .... .. . . . . . . . . .

Stephen continues....
I shrieked and screamed.I called for help,but I could not see anyone in sight.The place was dark.I was scared and afraid.My throat went dry of a sudden and my voice went low. I was scared .
Me:Why did I kiss you dear?
Him: ...........
Me:Am so sorry dear...am so sorry....Please keep your eyes open....Oh god please help me....
Him: ..........
Me: Dear, please say something.
Him:....I....stilllll ....love....you..
Me: Oh god! please save him.
Him:..I .... want to kkk......kiss you.....
Me: oh dear, lets go to the hospital..
Him: I...
Me: yes ...I....
Him: .....I...
Me: yeah go on....
Him:..... I stilllllll .....looo.....love...youuuuu....
Me: dear,lets go to the hospital..
Him: ...i waaannnt ttt tooo live.....wiiith yyou...aaah
Me: Oh jesus.... please help.
Him: kkkk kissss mmmm .....mee...aaaaahhh.
Me:dear....
Him: pppp pleease....aaah.
Me: dear....shoot meee....curse mee......i dont want to live a life without you.All started with that kiss.... Why did I kiss you??
Him:......A....KKKK.....KKiss.......Always......mmmm.....means sss.......somethinggg..................aaaaahhhhhhhhh........ ........... ...... .... .. . . . . . . . . .pleasseee kkk ...kiss ....mmm meee.
Me: * kisses him*
Him: .... aaahhhh.......lllloveeee youuu...aaah....rem .bemmbbr meeee.....
Me: ......
Him:....A....KKKK.....KKiss.......Always......mmmm.....means sss.......somethinggg..................aaaaahhhhhhhhh........ ........
(And he closes his eyes.)
Me: cries...

One day with a stranger .....

Every one knows that I was not selected int the campus interview that was held on February 23rd.It was conducted on two days and based on the performance of the individuals on the first day itself.Earlier we had an aptitude test which carried 60 marks.Would you believe,we had to wait for 6 hours for the display of candidates list who made into the next round.It was a joint campus where around 2500 students all over mumbai applied .Finally at 6 pm in the evening ,the list was declared and I was happy that I made in the second round.Unfortunately ,none of my friends made into the second round.We were then asked to assemble in the seminar hall where we were given information regarding group discussion.I was placed in group no 11 and we were asked to go to class room no 405,where we would be having the G.D.
Finally,we were given a topic.The topic was "Is Mumbai a safe city??".This topic was very easy topic ,but all group members were talking in favour of the topic.I was the one who strongly opposed the topic and I was against the topic.All were against me,I just wanted to remain calm.I could hear a voice which was a girls voice who eventually supported my point.Finally,the H.R selected both of us and we were given the invitation card for the next round.By then ,it was 11pm.I was walking alone to the railway station.I heard a sound behind me."Hey,you spoke really well",she said.
"I am pooja(name changed),doing my I.T Engineering " ,said she.
"Hello,I am Stephen,doing my Computer Engineering from TEC",I replied.
She accompanied me till we reached the railway station.We were glad that we both got selected to the next round and we were asked to report at 9 am the next day and it was Sunday.She was with me in the train and we shared our experiences and talks .She got down at Vashi and I dropped by Kurla.I reached my home at 12:30am.Mom and Dad were really upset as I didn't reached home early and didn't called them..The next day we were supposed to have a technical and HR interview for which I had to prepare .I was not familiar with old concepts of C and C++ and I had to revise the same.I revised my concepts till 3 am and slept at 3:30 am and got up at 6 am.I finally reached the place at 9 am and I met the same girl Pooja in the train.It seemed that she was nervous and had done little as she had no time.We were asked to report in the assembly hall and I was placed in the group along with Pooja which would be having HR interview first.The HR who took my interview was very friendly and I answered all questions confidently and he selected me for the next round.The selected canditates were asked to wait at classroom no 203.We had 3 hrs to go before our technical interview.I was busy revising my concepts.
Me: hey guys any one knowing Data Abstraction.
Vivek:no idea ,yar.
She: hey I know it,data abstraction means considering only a part of information and not the whole.For eg,consider a refrigerator,you need not know the internal details of the refrigerator and you are just supposed to know the working.
He:Oh !! thank you,that was sweet of you.

She gave her Technical interview and it seemed the person was very strict.He did'nt selected her and even he asked me with some stupid questions althoughI answered all,but I was not confident at all.After interview ,I asked he,"hey ,did you get selected?".
She remained silent for a while and said"No!! i didnt".

We finally left for the railway station and she asked me"Hey,Steph will you please tell me the route to Thane".
"You go to sanpada and then change ",I replied.
"Best of Luck for the next interview",I added.
"Thank you and the same applies to you",she smiled.
"Bye ",then she left and I left .

I never bothered to exchange phone number with her.After that I never met her.
Finally,I got selected in TechMahindra on 27th February.That day was a very important day in my life,I remembered that stranger who accompanied me when I was trying for Accenture.

The Gift of Life - Blogisode 3

To read the earlier two parts of the story, please click on the links below:
Blogisode 1: http://weandwords.blogspot.com/2008/09/gift-of-life-blogisode-1.html
Blogisode 2: http://weandwords.blogspot.com/2008/09/gift-of-life-blogisode-2.html

Khan uncle screamed,"Earthquake"!! Gathering his senses he gave Alaena in my arms instructing me to make a dash towards the ground floor and from there to the open, while he rushed upstairs. The intensity of the tremor and the accompanying rumbling noise gradually diminished and suddenly increased atleast three times. I could clearly the see the plinth of the nearest building oscillating through a distance of about 15 cm. I had no clue what to do. My brain had stopped functioning alltogether. I could only here people screaming and running around. Reaching the ground floor seemed like an eternity. People were rushing out in droves now pushing people along. With Alaena in my arms, almost a a munute had elapsed since Khan uncle had left us. I reached the ground floor and was just about to head towards the open when I witnessed a panel wall thrown out completely out of its frame structure. I could not hear any voices. All i could hear was wails, shrieks and a strong rumbling sound which was growing in intensity with every passing second. I stood there frozen as I witnessed two of the lowest floors of the adjacent Malhar apartments plunge into the ground. Something strong struck me at the back and I let go Alaena off my arms.
My head felt sore. There was suddenly a deathly silence around me. It was unusually dark and dusty. I was sure that whatever I had seen was a bad dream and the day had just begun. But sometimes, your worst fears tend to come true. I found myself in the midst of a rubble with a bam preotecting me from the debris that had accumulated in heaps right above. I found it hard to breathe. I tried to get up the way I used to jump out of my bed every morning, but some strange force was pinning me to the ground. My legs were trapped. I was stuck under a seemingly endless rubble of cement, stone and bare rods. I could see bodies crushed by the beams lying immobile besides. Blood oozed out of their bodies draining them of their life with every passing second. "What have these innocent people done to be put through such an ordeal? What have I done to suffer like this?", I wondered. I felt like vomitting. It was a ghastly scene. I shut my eyes unable to take in these gory scenes any more. I was trembling with fear. Never in my life have I been more scared. Never. I screamed. I screamed at the top of my voice. My screams got lost in the cries for help that were originating from everywhere. I could see people trying to wriggle out of the mess they were down under. My ears were filled with pleads and cries which were emanating from all over the place. My nose had got used to the smell of blood and the rubble all over. Suddenly, i realized that Alaena was nowhere besides me. I looked around for Alaena. Where was she? I felt my heart skip a beat at the thought of she being trapped under the debris.

To be continued......

(* God...Let there be peace all over. Natural or manmade disasters....please dont test us. Let us pray for the Delhi blast victims.)

The Kiss (part Three) Girl side of story continued!

Happy Birthday Shruti From everyone here at Writers lounge. Welcome to the 17th Step of Life
---------------------------------------------------------------
Original post by "The Lover":
Her : I'm sorry. Forget what happened. That will be best for us.
Me : Do you think that just a sorry will make everything go away?
Her : Well, all I can do is apologise for that night. Just forget what happened.
Me : What about the kiss?
Her : It didn't mean anything.
Me : A Kiss Always Means Something...
What did it mean?

Asbah's take on the same and her twist:
Him : I'm sorry. Forget what happened. That will be best for us.
Me : Do you think that just a sorry will make everything go away?
Him : Well, all I can do is apologise for that night. Just forget what happened.
Me : What about the kiss?
Him : It didn't mean anything.
Me : A Kiss Always Means Something...
Him: Sometimes few things have no meanings. Nothing, I'm sorry. I'm not for you, trust me.
Me: Smiles.
Him: thankyou! thankyou for understanding.
Me: Smiles again.
Him: Goodbye!
*a gun shoot, sound of a bullet piercing in the skin, smell of something burning, the red color over the carpet and the floor.*
Me: Smiles. when I kissed you I told you one thing; if I wont be yours sweetheart, remember you wont be anyone else's.

Sandeep's version of the continuation:
I dashed out of his house and walked towards my car fuming and cursing myself for trusting a cheat. My tears seemed to have dried up. Probably he was not worthy enough to deserve them. I had no feeling of remorse within. No sooner had i reached my car that i noticed a bouquet of blue roses, which were my favorite, kept atop it. I couldn't get a hang of what this meant. With trembling hands i reached out for the letter tucked in between the flowers.

"Love....Happy April fool's day!
My dumbhead...how could i ever afford to let you walk away just like that....
you sealed our love with that kiss. It meant the world to me.
I love you."

I stood there dumbfounded. My throat went dry all of a sudden. My legs seemed to give away. I gathered myself and rushed to his house. He lay there in a pool of blood.

Me: Ohh...What have i done? Ohhh god!!
Him: ..............
Me: Am so sorry dear...am so sorry...Please keep your eyes open...Stay awake...Please..Oh God!
Him: ..............
Me: Here....take this gun and shoot me. I dont deserve to live. Not without you. Please.
Him: ..............
Me: Please say something...Please...I wont be able to forgive myself ever.
Him: ..............
Me: Shoot me....Kill me....Curse me....Please.......Say something....Ohhhh Godddd...
Him: ......A....KKKK.....KKiss.......Always......mmmm.....means sss.......somethinggg..................aaaaahhhhhhhhh........ ........... ...... .... .. . . . . . . . . .

An Indian speaks...

I live on the edge,
And as I leave home each day,
I just can't predict,
Whether I'll be back in the same way,
Explosions await me,
In each and every lane,
I see people dying around,
People in so much pain,
A tiny bomb explodes,
And takes so many lives away,
Is this really the world of God,
This world where I stay?,
Of having a peaceful life,
I really can never be sure,
This cancer, cancer of hatred,
Does it have any cure?,
Yes, I am a poor Indian,
Troubled, and in a bad shape,
And I just want to know,
Will I ever be safe???!!!

Lets pray for all those who have suffered in the bomb blasts today... lets try and find an answer to these questions... !!

The Hare and Tortoise - Revisited

Hare and Tortoise were   amongst the best friends in the jungle. They both   served as a true example that clearly exhibited friendship. They were like made for each other. Hare  was timid, but very fast .On the other hand tortoise was   tentative. He was obsessed with  the thoughts  of doing good works to fellow jungle mates. Dozy, the donkey always used to be jealous of these  good friends.Simha, the Lion who was the king of the jungle also appreciated them. He even arranged a seminar for the jungle members   and asked hare and the tortoise to give speech on friendship. Sassy, the fox was known for its cunningness. He along with Tony, the hyena were s the villains in the  jungle. They could not bear others happiness and would always tend to subvert the relationship amongst peers.They could not sustain  others happiness.

 One day Dozy, Sassy and Tony made a plan. They decided to separate Harry, the hare and Torti, the tortoise. Their main intention was to hurt them and create a drift  between  them.They decided that Dozy would provoke   Harry and Tony would provoke Torti for a fight. But, nothing seemed to work.

At one point of time, it seemed that   not even a single earthly power would destroy their friendship. Hati,the  elephant was  the  jungle minister of  the entire jungle  and  Sherry, the tiger was  the  sports minister  of  the jungle. They both had planned  for  a sports  event. They both demanded active participation from all side.Dozy,Sassy  and  Tony  were very much  aware of this. They    were sure that this time their plan  won’t   fail. Tony   gave a wicked smile just like  other Hyena’s. The entire  jungle knew  the  history of  the running race that  took  place  few decades ago where Harry’s and Torti’s  grandfathers’  participated .To  summarize  in short, the race was won by Torti’s grandfather as Harry’s  granna  slept  on the way  due to  fatigue factor and laziness. This  event  shooked the entire  jungle as it was the first time that a tortoise  had  won a  running race. This event made way to  various school textbooks  and  lectures. People   all over the world  used a  phrase “Slow and steady wins the race” ,just to  motivate people that  even a slow start can lead people to victory.Dozy,Sassy  and Tony  were very much  aware of this past facts. That  event  lead to  woes and  friends became enemies.Harry’s father  and Torti’s dad never spoke to each other, but  their kids were  best friends. Even Harry and Torti knew  about this fact. Initially ,Harry didn’t agree to the concord. But  later on  Tony’s insistence both  Harry and Torti agreed to take part in the  race. It was the sports day in the jungle .Harry and  Torti lined up for the running race. It was a long race, so  just  two of them participated .Simha,the king,Hati,Sherry ,Bageera,the  panther were present  .Bandy, the  monkey was the race  instructor   .He guided and  instructed both  of them  and finally the whistle  blew ,the race started.

Harry ran fast and Torti was slow just like  his grandfather  who won the  race few decades   ago. The whole  jungle  was keenly waiting  for the result. Two hours later ,Harry   started feeling tired and fatigue factor once again    came into picture.He sat down   near a bush and  he slept. The tortoise was merely walking on the   path. As soon as he reached Harry, he could hear snoring of  Harry.Torti could well  make use of this  situation.Torti  believed that  Harry was his best friend and Harry believed the same. He soon woke up Harry and they  make a plan. As per the plan  Torti, walked  fast  and Harry followed him  from behind. The jungle folk were much tensed and some of them betted that Harry will win.

They both reached the finishing end .Simha,Hati,Sherry,Bandy and Bageera were  waiting  at the other end. At  the end ,they both place their foot  on the line. The astonishing fact was that  they place it at the same  time. The judges were  in a fix. They  were clueless on what to decide. Dozy, Sassy and d Tony  were anxious to know the result. Finally ,the judges  declared both of them as the winner. Finally, everyone was happy as no one incurred loss,but Dozy,Sassy and  Tony were vexed. At last  it was true friendship which  won.

Moral of the story:True Friendship and Love alone can lead one to victory. 

7.05-8.05 am

“Bye pa”, I say and get down from my dad’s bike and stroll towards the staircase at the Mambalam railway station to board the electric train en route to my college. The aroma of coffee at the stall refreshes me. Though the companionship with my mp3 player is second to none, on many days, a newspaper, I feel is much better just because of my curiosity to get to know what atrocities are happening in an otherwise heaven- India, read interesting articles relating to health and fitness,and above all, fulfill my everlasting desire to improvise on my English vocabulary. It’s already 7.05 in the morning and as I was bustling towards the stall and deciding which newspaper to buy, the train had already entered the platform and I finally settled for the new colored version of  The Indian Express and pushed myself into the compartment against the throng of commuters who were waiting to get down before I could get in.

A train journey especially in the mornings is something I’ve always loved where the scenic beauty could be enjoyed to the fullest. When I see the rising sun, the flowers raise their buds towards the sun whose warmth really injects freshness into me and as I pen down now, I can reminisce those wonderful journeys I had made traveling in the Brindavan express to Bangalore as a kid. Coming back, what a train journey can do to one especially when you’re seated next to the window, or if I confine to myself is, I can really rewind myself to my past life incidents looking at the meadows, the vehicles on GST road and of course the landing and take off of flights as I pass through the Guindy- Pallavaram stretch. It's just a perfect time for introspection which I truly love when left in solitude, and it is always joie de vivre and sometimes I only feel like laughing at things I had done a few years back with so much enthusiasm, some included notoriety as well. Occasionally, when the thoughts get so funny I would become too expressisve and I manage to control myself sensing what impression a person opposite me might get when I giggle to myself. The gamut of my thoughts is very interesting, it varies from my childhood ambitions of playing cricket for my country, the flair for the language of French (thanks to my French teacher Ms. Divya) and the interest I had developed in solving math problems (and I’m interested even today) while in middle school, the enthusiasm with which I used to admire and imitate my physics teacher Mr. Sundaresan in high school, my funny ideology of somehow managing to impress a girl soon as I enter college (this of course is something I can only laugh at if I think of it now and thank god I never put myself in embarrassing situations like proposing etc..) and I can visualize what lies for me in the future, a perfect SWOT analysis flashes across my mind. If one of my friends seated next to me starts a conversation, I would still be in my own world and when I try to reply, I’m left in a state of delirium. Just as the one hour journey is about to come to a halt at Potheri, another episode of my flashback had come to an end with an imaginary phrase at the left bottom of my mind

“ To Be Continued….”

Read Between The Lines..

Read this “HATE letter”. It is so funny and creative. This is a love letter from a boy to a girl.. However, the girl’s father does not like him and wants them to stop their relationship..and so...the boy wrote this letter to the girl……. He knows that the girl’s father will definitely read this letter…
1 “The great love that I have for you

2 is gone, and I find my dislike for you

3 grows every day. When I see you,

4 I do not even like your face;

5 the one thing that I want to do is to

6 look at other girls. I never wanted to

7 marry you. Our last conversation

8 was very boring and has not

9 made me look forward to seeing you again.

10 You think only of yourself.

11 If we were married, I know that I would find

12 life very difficult, and I would have no

13 pleasure in living with you. I have a heart

14 to give, but it is not something that

15 I want to give to you. No one is more

16 foolish and selfish than you, and you are not

17 able to care for me and help me.

18 I sincerely want you to understand that

19 I speak the truth. You will do me a favor

20 if you think this is the end. Do not try

21 to answer this. Your letters are full of

22 things that do not interest me. You have no

23 true love for me. Good-bye! Believe me,

24 I do not care for you. Please do not think that

25 I am still your BOYFRIEND.”
So bad!! However, before handing over the letter to the girl….

the boy told the girl to “READ BETWEEN THE LINES”, meaning-only to read 1.3.5.7.9.11.13 (Odd Nos.)
So… please try reading it again! It’s so smart & sweet….

It is better to laugh about your problems than to cry about them.

Lazy people.

Sometimes I wonder how lazy people are. Yeah that’s true, I have seen many people who are lazy. Well, I feel that I am the right person to talk about laziness. One should know that Lazy people tend to work less and they very often look forward for shortcuts.Ok, enough of laziness, now I wish to talk about the same but in some different perspective.

Lazy while going to college.

Lazy people always get up late. How late? One should better ask them. Usually I get up at 7:30 am in the morning during my college days and 11:30 am during holidays. My College starts at 9:15 am and I get up at 7:30 am. Finally I leave home at 8 am. I wait at the bus stop for around 30 minute’s .At last I reach my college at 10 am. Well, sometimes it is embarrassing to enter the class 45 minutes late. Some times I have to take risk at my own expense and very often I search for classmates so that we all enter the class at the same time.

Lazy during Examinations.

I always used to score well during my school days. Friends often ask me about tips for getting good marks. To be honest ,I don’t check my answers again and I am least bothered .If the examiner is too lenient and generous then give marks else I don’t expect marks.But any how I get marks .Thanks to Almighty. If it wasn’t Gods grace then I would have flunked in at least one paper in all my Engineering Sem Exams. And I haven’t flunked till now and I don’t hope so as getting KTs is easy ,but to compensate the failure is really bad.This time I got 73 % in my semester 6 exams . This was my all time high in Engineering and my all time high has been 94% . :)

Lazy while playing cricket.

Here it goes. I really like to talk about my sportsmanship and yeah I feel that I should talk about the way I play every game. I was known as master blaster (I mean not Sachin J) ,in fact I really hate running between wickets. I am very lazy you see. But people often compare me to Virendra Sehwag as we both play the same way .He likes playing big shots ,but he even likes taking runs .On the other hand I work well when I am not running.

Lazy while online.

I really hate coming online. But, once I come online I hate getting up and doing some other works. I start my pc hoping that I will be online for 30 minutes and finally end up with 1 hr.

I also believe that there are many lazy people like me. There are no bounds for laziness. I know a friend who gets up at 1 am everyday and takes his breakfast at 2 pm and lunch at 4 pm.Sounds weird ehh!

So tell me are you lazy? Tell me one incident which clearly depicts your laziness

But,he never spoke a word......

They were strangers to each other.They were seated next to each other.They were seeing each other for the first time.She was a gorgeous looking Indian girl.She was fair and beautiful.They were waiting  in a hospital for their turn to come.Dr.Rajan was a famous dermatologist in Mumbai.So people rush there for  various skin  and sex related problems.The boy  looked at her from sideways pretending that he  was talking to a friend.His sister was taking a note of all that he was doing.The girl smiled at him,but he never spoke a word.The  sister  was keenly looking at her brother to know his reaction.He was shy.He smiled back at the girl,she smiled again.He didn't had the courage to say  a "hi" to her.Finally it was his turn.He  went to meet the doctor with his sister.He came back and  still the girl smiled at him,but he did not speak a word.

sister:Brother,your'e a big fattu.You dont know that she wants to talk to you.
he: I know that ,but how  would  I talk to a stranger whom I dont't know.
sister:Your so dumb man...big fattu.
he:ty for the compliments......

That night he was thinking of the girl with whom he never spoke.....he wanted to meet her once again...

wht do you have to say guys???

The Kiss (part Two) Girl side of story!

Him : I'm sorry. Forget what happened. That will be best for us.
Me : Do you think that just a sorry will make everything go away?
Him : Well, all I can do is apologise for that night. Just forget what happened.
Me : What about the kiss?
Him : It didn't mean anything.
Me : A Kiss Always Means Something...


Him: Sometimes few things have no meanings. Nothing, I'm sorry. I'm not for you, trust me.
Me: Smiles.
Him: thankyou! thankyou for understanding.
Me: Smiles again.
Him: Goodbye!

*a gun shoot, sound of a bullet piercing in the skin, smell of something burning, the red color over the carpet and the floor.*

Me: Smiles. when I kissed you I told you one thing; if I wont be yours sweetheart, remember you wont be anyone else's.

The Gift of Life - Blogisode 2

"Good morning Meera", wished Khan uncle. He was my favourite uncle in the building, Meera Apartments. Almost everyone in this building, right from the ground floor occupants to the Khan family on the 7th floor, knows me because i share my name with our building. Khan uncle cooks up the most amusing and make believe stories. He almost forced me into believing how the building was rechristened "Meera Apartments" after i was born to wade off evil spirits. And that they would take control if i were to move out of this building ever. So I should never ever move from this building and in doing so am helping out the other occupants. Khan uncle even jokes how i am famous in the whole of Ahmedabad. He even went to the extent of claiming that he had forwarded the story related to me and the building to both national and international news agencies and how i would be famous world over soon. I sometimes secretly wished i was. Being a celebrity was so cool. And Khan uncle said it with so conviction that i would do mock thanking sessions before my bedroom mirror everyday. That was Khan uncle. And i loved him from the core of my heart. He also enjoyed my company and i would at his place in all festivals as family. Be it Id or Onam or Diwali, we celebrated each of them like one big family. And i loved it this way.

"The lift is ot of order my dear. I fear that you will have to walk down the stairs all the way down sweetheart. I think Alaena and me would love to give you company all the way down in your marathon attempt my sunshine", Khan uncle giggled and i noticed Alaena in his arms. I recollected him mentioning that he was expecting his cousin's daughter and her child over on Republic day as it was a holiday. Alaena was as cute as it gets. All of 9 months, she gave her toothless smile which had me drooling all over her. Her cheeks were red and she was wearing a red frilled frock which went with her wheatish complexion. I had this desire to hold her the moment i saw her waving towards me. I didnt want to go to school all of a sudden. I wanted to play with this lil bundle of joy. I never liked babies much, but Alaena had won my heart with that toothless smile. I wanted to pull her red cheeks and plant a kiss on each of them.

"Sweetheart...i know you want to play with Alaena but your bus might be waiting for you. Moreover Alaena is here for a week so you can play with her as much as you wish. But school first!", Khan uncle had read my mind. I glanced at my watch. 8:44 am. All the cuddling and playing part could be carried out in the evening was what I said to myself and started walking downstairs. Khan uncle turned to my mom who was standing by the door all this while, "I think you can carry on with your household chores Mrs. Krishnan. No need to walk all the way down to the ground floor. I have to buy some bread from the market and we will accompany Meera downstairs. I will see to it that she gets on her school bus. You dont worry at all." And with that reassuring words to mom, we started our downward trek to the ground floor. Yes, a trek! I don't know how else would i describe climbing down the stairs from my 7th floor apartment. The two minutes it took us to reach the second floor seemed like hours. I glanced at my watch. It was 8:46 am and we were at the second floor.

All of a sudden I felt a high frequency vibration through my feet. I felt the ground getting displaced in the northerly direction. There was a strange sound accompanying this displacement. The sound resembling to that of heavy furniture being pulled over a rough surface. I had no clue as to what was happening. I turned backwards to see a horror stricken Khan uncle. Never had i seen him in such a state. A feeling of fear mixed with horror loomed large on his face. He looked at me and screamed, "Earthquake"!!!!

A Kiss Always Means Something

Her : I'm sorry. Forget what happened. That will be best for us.
Me : Do you think that just a sorry will make everything go away?
Her : Well, all I can do is apologise for that night. Just forget what happened.
Me : What about the kiss?
Her : It didn't mean anything.
Me : A Kiss Always Means Something...


What did it mean?

Let Go..

Strings are loosing out
The connection is gone
It was supposed to be forever
But couldn't last long

Nothing is wrong
But nothing is even right
Forget about the future
Even present is not bright

When more than pleasure
Something holds you back
Its better to give it up
To come back to track

Yeah..its not easy
To give up and move on
Just sounds impossible
But have to go on

Whats the point of holding
To something which is dead
Whats the point of doing efforts
When someone doesn't wish to go ahead

Nothing can survive
If its not from the hear
tWhen relations go sour
They need a brand new start

Memories will always be cherished
Even if they were just for a while
And now I let you go
Let you go with a smile....

In today’s world being academically weak is a curse?

This is a very often question which strikes in those students who are academically weak.

In today’s world of intellectuals and with a Tiff competition among each other weak students somewhere has lost an opportunity to get ahead. They are just dominated by intelligent sections of the society

If we analysis the ‘cons’ of being an academically weak ten its really a curse.An average student of 40%-45% stands nowhere according to the education policies of various universities.For ex if we take our own Delhi University to get into the good college a student should at least get 95%+ to get into the best known course or course of one's interest.

Getting 95%+ in 12^th is obviously not a child’s play.Every student can’t have same level of intelligence or grasping power.

In the end students with average%or I should say below average stands nowhere,they end up taking admissions in correspondence or sometimes students gets so depressed that they end up taking their precious lives

There are times when seats are vacant in various institutes and people there just rudely say No to weak students,all this results in negative thought process of a children ,it results in a thought process of that only people with grey cells are respected in the society,weak people have no standing.

Sometimes, Students tend to feel so neglected n they start underestimating themselves wen they have to face such a rough n dry behavior of various institutes.And all this frustrations land up in personal lives too,parent’s taunts, their scoldings all this makes a person feels soo suffocated and it starts giving a feeling of killing oneself.

Parents too play a crucial role in all this scenario of academics.Their support to a child is a pillar.If they compare their children with other intelligent and talented children than a weak student will always feel degraded or demoralized.

They should support there children and understand their potential and they should not criticise them always for doing nil in academics.They should groom them in other best fitted fields,in which a interests of student’s lies. But all this doesn’t mean that they should become carefree towards academics,they should time time help them in there academics also,give them a doze of studying regularly not in stretch but of course in small intervals,they should not burden their children.

These days people don’t realize that everybody has a talent, some students discover that in themselves in a early stage but some can’t they need some time.People low with intellect powers basically are more talented,they have more God gifted qualities.

We are not here against intellects but we are here just emphasising that institutions should be soft in dealing with people who are weak,they should also give them an opportunity to prove themselves,they should be treated as equal, as respect full like other intellects of the society.

At the end I will rap up just by saying that there are huge group of students who are weak and feel this is a curse but I would just like to convey this have some patience and put in some hard work without taking too much pressure .And if possible communicate with parents, that there this attitude will not solve the purpose, rather its very depressing n demoralizing.

So take a chill pill and take a break from all the taunts n put in your hard work again with same enthusiasm n zeal n zest.

Life is all about ups n downs but we have to bounce higher n prove that we are very strong.:-):-).

Note:This post is originally posted by me at my personal blog Unpredictable life than to my very dear friend's blog and now here:-)

Have you Ever...

۩ सर्व शकितमते परमात्मने श्री रामाय नमः۩
*The Poster Transplanted From the blog Enlightenment.

* Me, a small stake holder in this blog wishes to raise an initiative on this blog.
* On July 17 i guess this blog was started.I joined it a couple of days later.
We have crossed the 100 posts milestone.Our blog has i think more then 25 members.[I don't recall the exact number] and around 10 followers [Till the last count]
* I feel its time to slow down and reflect back.So i wish to announce
"The Feedback Month" On the Writer's Lounge

* Each member of this blog is requested to Post one [Only 1] Suggestion To make the Writer's Lounge a more better place to write in.
* Not to say that you should give valid reasons for your suggestion,and how it will improve the blog.
* Please Please, Deliberate,Malicious Criticism is not invited.Only Positive feedback.
* Members will point it, I know, that Stephen is a very accessible person,and we can always submit our suggestions any time to him in Private.Why post on the blog?
Well the point i wish to make is that we discuss your suggestion and then Ste can always take action accordingly.So write a post please.
* Also, please members, wake up our friends on the blog,who are not able to post very frequently.
* I don't promise but yes,i will try my level best to prepare a badge for the best suggestion received.
* The 30 days time period starts the day this post is published.
______________________
This is our blog, and it should not be ste's headache alone, thinking about betterment of the blog.
Lets also voice up.
Raise our opinions!!!
After all we all have a common objective
A great Writer's Lounge
_____
Hoping for a Good response
Remember Just 1 suggestion per member
Jai Shri Ram !!!

Poems.

Written around 200 poems, i still dont like poetry much. Pros to me, can do magic.
but I have been reading to my old pieces forlong because perhaps i am unable to write as creative as i used to, once upon a time.

want you all to read two poems for a comparison. or not even a comparison, just for the sake of it.


1) Gaze.

that honey sunken gaze
fixed on my face,
and i,
trembeling,
with blood emptying from veins
and rushing to my cheeks
too glad to speak,
overwhelmed by his presence.

"what ever i feel
i have to conceal
my secret heart throbs.
let it not reveal,"

but when our eyes met;
he came near and said

"you know what sweetheart"
"you are trying in vain"
"cuz everytime your heart trobs"
"i can hear it whispering my name."

wrote it 5 years ago, of i dont know what. much have been something I dont remember now. and while I am reading old ones, I found that this is quite good. for say, a 15 year old (now dont compare me and shruti, she's quite fast for her age!)


2) this one is well right after read HP's fifth installment... order of pheonix.

burnt,
burnt alive;
scarlet red flames
ashes of her flesh

and smell of burning blood
the feathers un-tie
crushed!
fell akin yellow-autumn leaves
breaking loose.
she turned her gaze towards the mystic skies

the moon wept!
the birds woed!
the sun cried!

some diamond beads;
flickered -
fell from the corners of her eyes

she died.

but this is not the end of her life
from the tears she cried,
a new life was re-surrected

a new pheonix was born,

she'll live to die
she'll die to live
thats her fate,
thats her life.

Thanks Dad ,for all that you have done for me

I'm sending this note especially for you Dad,

because you're the best Dad I could have had.

Thanks for teaching me right from wrong,

And what it really means to be strong.

You taught me its all right to make a mistake,

and to always be honest and never be fake.

You taught to value every life,

and that harsh words lead to strife.

Thanks for all the sacrifices you made for me,

And for teaching me that love is the key.

Thank you for showing me how to pray,

and that it is something I should do every day.

I am grateful for all you did to encourage me,

Without your help, I don't know where, I would be.

(I would like to dedicate this post to my father ,who has done a lot to my sister and me and how would I forget my mom ...... thanks mom and thanx dad for all you have done for me and Anu)

Tryst with teenage- Part 1

‘What film is this? You’re watching with so much curiosity?’ my mom questioned. It was a Sunday evening and after a long time, I was watching TV non-stop for more than an hour. Categorically, it was a Tamil film that kept me glued and this was what made my mom throw at me, such a question. ‘Maa…the movie is really good…an adventurous-thriller’ I exclaimed. I switched on the TV around 4 in the evening after a cup of coffee and that was when the movie commenced. It unfolded with two youth driving on a Highway and as the car was stopped to make them attend nature’s call, a person (identity concealed) from behind the camera kills both of them with an axe. ‘Huh!!!!! What movie is this???’ I exclaimed to myself. Sun TV replied immediately with a flash, ‘A Film by Arvind’. Yeah…a Tamil film with an English title. That was fashionable a few years back. As it unfolded, every scene had something watchable. An adventurous journey from Chennai to a wooden house in the interior locales of Andhra Pradesh and the hunt for a psycho-killer formed the crux of it. An hour and a half passed when my mom entered the hall. I was glued to the TV set and my mom from behind, was watching the same and cleaning the shelf side by side. Minutes later followed an intimate scene between the lead pair, my reaction to which made me ponder over and finally pushed me to pen down this write-up. Mona Chopra (now Sherlyn Chopra) was dressed in a sleeveless top and mini-skirt whilst the male lead, (a new comer, unsure of his name) bare-bodied was clad in a jean. Mona was enjoying her rub over his chest and he was fondling her lips. They came closer and the space between them, I would say, was almost vacuum-packed. A smooch was expected in next to no time and as the lips were about to get locked, as expected in Tamil films, they moved away from each other and a coyly smile adorned their faces.

When this scene was in progress, I was unmoved and watched it just like any other scene, very muchMINDFUL of the fact that my mom was just behind. I profess, the moment I saw Mona entering his room, and from her seductive stance, I got a feeling if such a scene would take place. There was a latent thought which made me wonder if I should change the channel considering the fact that my mom was watching too, but then, I exclaimed ‘Why should I ?’ And I felt, shifting channels may only leave my mom in bewilderment when I get back to the same channel after a while. Also, even if I change, I would be desperate to know if that scene had drawn curtains. This would definitely make me take a glimpse of a few clips of that particlular scene. Hence I didn’t find the need and carried on. All these thoughts flashed and I drew conclusions in a matter of nanoseconds, or atleast microseconds. On this note, I would like to add, my mom seldom accompanied me to a cinema and hence, I’ve never watched such intimate scenes (not uncommon in Indian cinema these days) in her company. Even at home, we rarely watch TV together. Hence, this, I guess was the first instance. I didn’t take notice of this act of mine with so much importance then, but, that night, when I was about to hit the bed, I was reminded of this. I pondered over. Change of channel was the first thing I would have done, a few years back, and a blush with compunction painted all over my face would have followed it up. But I would have felt ashamed for no mistake I had done. That’s where, actors, performing such erotic scenes win over you and it takes time to get back to normal. On retrospection, I found both my reactions (the one I would have done a few years back and the one last Sunday evening) neither shocking nor surprising, but interesting and something to ponder.TESTOSTERONE PROPOSES I DISPOSE befitted both the reactions. Yeah...it was my control over the sex hormones that I guess, resulted in me taking control over the situation, react accordingly and thereby draw conclusions. Now you may wonder what conclusion I drew. Yeah I did!!! I felt, it was time to recognize my exit from the realms of teenage. 

As I pen down this piece, I’m aged 20 years and 188 days and affirmatively, I’m at the doorsteps of the teenage world and it was time to say goodbye to the teenage me. This acknowledgement has made me get into the process of figuring out where that thin, impenetrable blurred line is, separating the stimulation of erotic and aesthetic feelings. If I had made it ‘simulation of erotic rather than aesthetic feelings’, it would have defined my process in a different and in a manner in which most people think. In the sense, it would have questioned the need for the arousal of erotic feelings and showed eroticism in poor light. Now, whether or not eroticism is a degrading word is not the discussion here (though I admit, it’s one of the topics I would like to think about, sometime later) but what exactly makes it replace aestheticism on most/few (the most/few here, differs from person to person) occasions. As far as my perception of the word eroticism is concerned, I would like to stay neutral as I feel, every feeling is to be respected and each has its own significance. 

Before I start with the discussion, I would like to rewind myself 4 yrs back when I entered teenage with all wordly desires. I would like to look back at my own thoughts, how I perceived things then and how different are my perceptions today. What was my affinity to soft-porn and porno stuff ? Did I ever watch porn ? What influence peers had on me ? Whether my teenage was lived to the fullest ? How do I see myself as I leave the teenage world ? If ever I experienced eroticism ? If ever I experienced aestheticism ? How did I differentiate then ? Lots of questions remain unanswered. After answering and analyzing all these, I’ll draw conclusions. This topic certainly needs much time to jump to the right conclusions.

To be continued…..

The Gift Of Life - Blogisode 1

Sorry friends...Have been missing from the action since past few weeks. Thanks for all those who made me the member of the month for August. And a bigger thanks for showing faith in me this month as well. I bring to you another short story from my stable, "The Gift of Life", which i hope will be able to capture your imaginations this month. Am posting the first installment of this baby of mine. Cheers!!

“Meera, you are getting late for the flag hoisting ceremony at your school dear. It’s already 8:20 molu. The white uniform that you are wearing is just fine. No need to keep on looking at that small spot on the collar again and again. It won’t vanish by itself daa! Its hardly noticeable molu. Be quick! Ohhhhh…you still haven’t had your breakfast!! Come here this instant.”

I could hear my mom shouting from the dining room. How on earth did Amma know that I was glancing at the spot standing in front of the mirror here? “Mothers are mothers. The supreme beings. They know it all. Their sixth sense antennas are always turned on”, said a feeble voice within me.

Being Meera Krishnan was tough at times. After all why don’t these grown up’s understand that a 10 year old girl has better things to do than have breakfast. I consider breakfast a sheer waste of time. I could have slept a little more or had a longer look at the calendar to anticipate and plan my approaching birthday the next day, January the 27th. I wanted to simply stand there dreaming of the gift dad promised me this time around.

Another routine call by mom had me rushing towards the dining table. I glanced at the clock and wondered how mom managed to give me a call in exact 5 minute intervals from the moment I got up from bed to this instant. I threw my bag on the sofa and took my seat on the dining table. The seat at the centre of this dining table belongs to me, Miss Meera Krishnan. Though I dislike spending time munching stuffs made lovingly by mom, which I consider a sheer waste of time, but I do enjoy being made the centre of attention. Dad enquiring about my day and mom asking me if I would like another helping, my seat at the centre enabled me to have a clear view of both and bask in the attention being showered.

I made a dash towards the casserole and peeped into it. I closed it the very instant and threw an angry glance at mom. “Idli’s again??? Yuck….Amma, this is not fair! You keep doing this all the time. You promised to make me sandwiches for breakfast last night. I don’t want to take this to school. Kids have labelled me a South Indian ponytail because my tiffin always is stuffed with either idli’s or dosa’s. Stephen Gonzales of our section keeps bringing fancy items in his tiffin everyday. It’s a new thing everyday. Or take Asbah Alaena of Section B. She brings along sandwiches with a different filling every day. She has made so many friends in my section just because she is so cool. Mona Aiyar, Ani, Rajesh, Ttushar…ohhh…the list of the cool people in my section is endless mom. It’s only me with these idli’s and dosa’s. Yaa, there is this Sandeep Balan who brings the same stuff. But that’s precisely the reason no one hangs out with him. Students make fun of him and call him “Dosa boy”. At least I have some friends with whom I hang around. I don’t want to be like that boy and labelled as a “South Indian” mom. It’s not that cool when I have to give explanations that it’s not Parachute coconut oil that we use for cooking. I am tired of telling them that this is the costliest and purest oil around and not the cheap ones which are used for hair. It was just the other day that Mona Aiyar was making fun of me. She said that your mom applies the oil that remains after cooking in your hair. How embarrassing is that? I want to take sandwiches along to show them that we don’t cook in coconut oil mom. Why don’t you understand?” I looked up at mom and she didn’t even show a sign of registering my complaint. If I meet God one day, the first thing I would like to ask him is that why are 10 year olds treated so miserably by heir mothers. I swallowed two idli’s making faces and slipped the tiffin into my bag. I had school for only 3 hours today. Today being the republic day, we had a flag hoisting ceremony in school followed by some sports. I was looking forward to the 100 m dash in my age category where I was among the favourites. As soon as mom ordered me to stop and head towards the school bus which seemed to have arrived below, I jumped out of my chair. I could feel a feeling of triumph within me. I think this is how prisoners feel when they are set free after being behind the bars for years. It is so liberating. I made a dash towards the lift on our floor.

To be continued....

Perhaps I am Still Unanswered...

Today I feel so low,
I don't know why its happening now!!
It was my decision only to forget you forever,
And that, we'll always be friends forever...
Then why today my eyes are filled with tears???
Why learning to live without you gives me fear??
Everything was going normal, as I thought..
So, why my heart wanna say that I still love him a lot??
Of course I was happy with whatever was happening till date!!
Then, why suddenly I wanna curse my fate??
There was no memory in my heart that could last..
But from where suddenly came all the moments from my past??
Why can't I control my emotions today??
Why is there solitude and I feel like a loner today??
Oh!! I am confused and perturbed...
It was my decision only... Then, why is it paining so much to do that today??

This is not written by me but by one of my closest friends..Kajal...Please comment to encourage her

Inside Out..

How amazed I am at my own self
How I had been living my life
How I let go all my happiness just in a short while
I kept looking for bliss where it wasn’t present
And when I didn’t get it I found everything unpleasant
Wherever I went I used to spread smiles
But now my own smile seems to be lost
I am loosing which I am loved and adored for
When did I became so hard I couldn’t decipher
Its high time I get back to my real self
I have asked enough, now I don’t need help
Nothing can make you smile
When your heart isn’t willing to do so
But now I am not gonna be like this anymore
I will fight and bring back the flow
Happiness is not outside but inside of you
Search for it if it’s not coming to you
My search in on..And things look brighter
I will soon bring back the feel good factor…

ONE... By Shawnee Kellie.

One word can spark a moment,

One flower can wake the dream;

One tree can start a forest,

One bird can herald Spring.

One smile can bring a friendship,

One handclasp can lift a soul;

One star can guide a ship at sea,

One cheer can obtain a goal.

One vote can change a Nation,

One sunbeam can lift a room;

One candle wipes out darkness,

One laugh will conquer gloom.

One look can change two lives;

One kiss can make love bloom.
One step must start each journey,

One word must start each prayer;

One hope can raise our spirits,

One touch can show you care.
One voice can speak with wisdom,

One heart can know what's true;

One life can make a difference,

One life is me and you....

beautiful gazal by jagjit singh

۩ सर्व शकितमते परमात्मने श्री रामाय नमः۩
_______
*This one is Again from the blog Enlightenment.
*Not In english, though so please pardon for the language
* This Picture was clicked by me.DO temme if you like it.
_______________________________

dard se mera daaman bhar de ya allah...phir chahe dewaana kar de ya allah...maine tujhse chand sitare kab maange...roshen dil bedaar nazar de ya allah

ab to ghbra ke ye kahte hai ki mar jaayenge.....mar ke bhi chain na mila to kidhar jaayenge...hum wo nahin jo ki kare khoon ka daava tujhse...gar poochega khuda bhi to mukar jaayenge

hum to yun apni zindgi se mile...ajnabi jaise ajnabi se mile

koi dost hai na raqeeb hai....tera saher kitna ajeeb hai...yahan kiska chera pada keron...yahan kon itna kareeb hai

kon aayega yahan koi na aaya hoga...mera darwaza hawaon ne hilaya hoga

kabhi yun bhi to ho...dariya ka saahil h...poore chaand ki raat ho...or tum aao

tere aane ki jab khbar mahke....teri khsboo se saara ghar mahke

mainu tera shbab le baitha...rang gora gulab le baitha...changa hunda sawal na karta...mainu tera jawab le baitha

chaand ke saath kai dard purane nikle...kitne gam the jo tere gam ke bhane nikle...dil ne ek int se tameer kiya taj mahel...tune ek baat kahi laakh fasane nikle

aankhon mein jal raha hai kyon bhujta nahin dhuan...uthta to hai ghata sa barsata nahin dhuan...aankhon ke aansuon ke marasim purane hai...mehman ye ghar mein aaye jo chupta nahin dhuan

khumare gam hai mahkati fiza mein jeete hai..tere khyal ki aavo hawa mein jeete hai...na baat poori hui thi raat toote gai...audhre khwab ki aadhi saza mein jeete hai

koi ye bataye ki wo tanha kyon hai..wo jo apna tha wahi or kisi ka kyon hai

apni aankhon ke sumandar mein utar jaane de...tera muzrim hoon mujhe doob ke mar jaane de...zakhm kitne teri chahat se mile hai mujhko...sochta hoon ke kahoon tujhse magar jaane de

sadma to hai mujhe bhi ki tujhse juda hoon main...lekin ye sochta hoon ki ab tera kya hoon main

besabab baat badane ki jarurat kya hai...hum khfa kab the mana ne ki jarurat kya hai

saayad main zindgi ki saher lekar aa gaya...kaatil ko aaj apne hi ghar lekar aa gaya...taumar dhoondta raha mazil main ishq ki...anzam ye ke gard-e-safar lekar aa gaya
___________________________________________
*Please do vote on a succession voting Being held at the enlightenment.

*Why do i see so less followers on the writer's Lounge???Friends, lets mobilize our strength.I would appeal to Ste, to put up the followers gadget on the top right column of the blog and the reader's of this blog,Add the writer's lounge to your follow list.I wish to see atleast 50 followers in next 10 days.
Buckle up friends.

* Thank you people for voting for me in various polls on this blog.

Jai SHri Ram !!!

Women.....special

Why are you crying?
a young boy asked his Mom.
Because I’m a woman, she told him.
I don’t understand, he said.
His Mom just hugged him and said:
and you never will, but that’s okay.

Later the little boy asked his father,
Why does Mom seem to cry for no reason?
All women cry for no reason.
was all his dad could say.


The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.
Finally, he went on his knees and asked God:
GOD... Why do women cry so easily?
And God answered...



When I made women,
I decided she had to be special.
I made her shoulders strong enough
to carry the weight of the world,
yet her arms gentle enough to give comfort!
I gave her the inner strength
to endure childbirth and the rejection
that many times will come,
even from her own children!
I gave her a hardness that
allows her to keep going and take care of her family and friends,
even when everyone else gives up,
through sickness and fatigue, without complaint!
I gave her sensitivity to love
her children under any and all circumstances,
even when her child has hurt her badly!
She has the very special power to make a child’s boo-boo feel better
and to quell a teenager’s anxieties and fears.
I gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faults,
and I fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart!
I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife
but sometimes tests her strengths
and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly !


Son, for all of this hard work…
I also gave her a tear to shed.
It is hers to use whenever needed and is her only weakness!
When you see her cry, tell her how much you love her and all she does for everyone.
And even though she may still cry,
you will have made her heart feel good.
She is special!!!

When I Knew Only Laughter....

Life can't get better than the one I had at Jawahar Vidyalaya. It was, in fact 'better than the best'. Precisely, I made the most of my last four years at JV that is from my 7-10th standard. They were, and will definitely be the best phase of my life where I used to enjoy even the smallest things happening around me and now, when I think of it, feel blessed to have made friends around me happy.Before penning down that wonderful journey, I would like to thank all my friends without whom this article would never have been made possible.

Seventh standard was to me what a spark plug is to an engine - initiated the fire or rather kicked off that wonderful journey of mine. I used to be a very quiet boy, face ebbing with innocence, being too circumspect at times with a not-so-friendly attitude. What brought about the change in me was unintentional but something that just happened and I feel that's what they call GOD. What really surprises me is the fact that I never knew I was changing but was thoroughly enjoying and there never seemed to be a dull moment at school. Even those numerous art classes when I was chucked out were warmly welcomed with a smile or rather laughter. The lack of concentration in class just because I was busy planning for my next dig at teachers thankfully didn't hamper my studies. I was very successful in maintaining a consistent score of 80-85 p.c and to my utmost satisfaction, got a higher rank than my close pal Shriram almost every time. This was a key factor in me not compromising on the fun part at school. Another pivotal role was played by my cousin Divya who never disclosed any of those mischiefs to my parents at home though she knew most of them. The tallest of all - when I was caught of malpractice in that f***ing IT paper ( details of that incident revealed later in the article). I'm very thankful to her.

I loved school so much that I missed just half-a-day of class in ninth standard to attend the 13th day rites of my grandfather. I still remember that day- I pushed my mom to get my lunch done fast and rushed to school in my Hercules MTB cycle to attend the second half to make sure I've cent percent attendance in the ART hour. First of those funny incidents was in seventh standard when I misplaced my friend Sreeja's pen which had a photo of Sai Baba. I was so perturbed that I started making fun of her and refused to search for that pen. She ended up in tears, won my sympathy and I had to compromise and thus offered her a pen which my friend R.B had with a photo of Vinayak. She was in no mood to accept and wanted that Sai Baba pen alone. I got so frustrated that I shouted 'Podee Baba' and a few around me burst into laughter and eventually she was nicknamed Baba. This incident will always remain etched in my memory- her weep and those moments which really tensed me and R.B. Being an innocent boy, I was afraid if she would complain etc but things ended up on a good note and we found her pen just behind her chair. She stopped weeping thus bringing my pulse rates back to normal.

Eighth standard was just perfect when all the french students merged and I should say, we really gave the teachers a run for their money. I had become a boy sans fear - Come what may, I was ready to face it and nothing could be done at the expense of the fun we had. I still remember the day during one of those math periods when the six of us ( myself, Shriram, M.B, Rakesh, Vignesh and Murali) teamed up to cook up a story with all teachers in an amusement park. Though I don't remember what exactly the story was, it was that day when we all got together and the intensity of our laughter was just too (three) much. It was also the year when I learned all those filthy words and found pleasure in using them even when situations didn't demand. The best was my verbal dual with Arvind Raj on one of those days during lunch hour ( I don't want to get into this topic any deeper just to maintain the decorum of my blog space). These funny incidents had no boundaries...to name a few more... those Mane Mane cherche lines in our hindi classes, Taj Coramandel matter, By the by My name is Damayandrui (craft), the extent to which Shriram and I laughed when I copied during a hindi test...those funny conversations Kutty Sriram, MB, Murali and our class teacher used to have among themselves almost every day...the art hour when Vignesh and I hit chalk at our Sir and ran away. Art hour used to be unique in a way that it was supposed to be the only class where I had fun from outside the class. In a sense of exuberance, on most days, I never used to bring the Art note just to irritate him. The friendly cricket matches we used to play during holidays deserve special mention here ( Rakesh, do u remember the reverse shot we used to play). It feels nostalgic to remember those days when we assembled by 7 in the morning and played till the sun took the toll on us. Almost all matches were nail-biting finishes.

Ninth and tenth had tough moments as well.... juuuust and ssssss ( our sincere efforts to imitate our geography and history teachers) were part of almost all the conversations we made... Another notorious incident worth reminiscing was when Shriram and I burst into laughter seeing UPK Ma'am take the podium to conduct the morning assembly and almost all students scowled at us with disgust as they were tired of our laughter. We feared if we would be pulled out and taken to task by one of the teachers present . Thankfully, nothing unfortunate happened but our laugh was instantaneous as we were astonished to see a fat lady adjusting herself between two doors. There was not a single class when I failed to get away without rebuke from my history and geography teachers. The situation worsened one day when my history teacher left the class in disgust as i jacked her left, right and center. She found it so insulting that she left the class saying, I quote "I will not take history classesssss for you peepul (people), horrible classss, alwaysssss loghing (laughing) and making fun of all teacherssss. One idiot (myself) startssss loghing and the whole classss followssss him. All of you keep standing and no one should sit...keep standing". After she left, I murmured to myself ' Who the f*** is she to make me stand... F*** off '. That was the only day I actually wept in school. Mrs. Shantalakshmi had complained this act of mine to the class teacher and the latter asked us to stay back after school hours. Our class teacher entered and in an angry tone said " Except Rajesh, all of you shall sit". I felt like a stranger stranded in a jungle. She shot back " What an audacity you have!!! Who do you think you are?". I was lambasted verbally in front of all the 42 students. I knew, I was the sole reason for having made the entire class to face the axe. After we dispersed, I found a group of my class girls standing outside the gate having a private conversation and I was very sure they were cursing me. I felt so bad that soon as I came back home, I went straight to my room upstairs and wept for nearly an hour. Another terrible incident was when I used a red pen to add a few marks in my IT paper and complained the teacher of totaling error. I admit to the fact that I was not smart enough to use the same ink she had used. She was bustling towards the principal room when I stopped her to plead guilty. That evening, my pulse rates soared as I had to meet the principal but thankfully the principal had left school little early and the VP was kind enough to let me off saying "You thought you can fool her every time? Today is her chance to win over you."



Excursions added spice to the fun and fortunately we had two outings in ninth standard ( thanks to Divya Ma'am for arranging a trip to the Chennai harbour ). The bus journeys were just great. We leaned out of the window, made fun of fellow motorists but the fun inside was kickass stuff...imitating the way Anuja sings and her apple polishing attitude, Sukanya's Oonjal matter and of course we had Kutty Sriram who was always made the scape goat. Dolphin City and Mahabalipuram made for two great places of visit that year and we had a wonderful time.

On the whole, JV life was where I made ' FRIENDS FOR LIFE ' and it's a special feeling when I see myself in touch with almost all of them even today. The time we all spent together are great memories, which might better find place in a book.

I love you....

Come hold my hand,
gaze into my eyes,
Lets go for a walk,
under the starry skies,
Lets watch out of the window through the bars,
Look at the rustling leaves, count endless stars,
Lets dance on a tune, going on and on,
Lets be madly in love, till both of us are gone,
Lets run in the green meadows with a herd of sheep,
Let our love be divine, pure and like the ocean, deep,
Since the day you have knocked on my heart's door,
I love you my love, more and even more!!!!

Dear God...

Dear God, forgive me for the wrong things I did,
And the right things that I didn't do,
Forgive me for all those mistakes,
That I have committed all the way through,
Teach me to be righteous,
Teach me to be true,
Teach me to be selfless, thoughtful,
To be as pure as you,
Teach me to be merciful,
Teach me to be kind,
Help me remove all bad thoughts,
And all evil from my mind,
Forgive me for my sins,
Forgive me for whenever I did err,
Let me be satisfied with life always,
And let me be happy forever!!!!

The bond that was never made....

Life had always been a bit dark,
So why am I shocked when it's taken a gray shade,
Don't know why I am sad that it's broken,
The bond, that was never ever made...

He owes a lot to me,
The debts of my feelings are still unpaid,
Don't know why I still expect him to return,
And make the bond, that was never ever made...

I can't complain, can't ask him why,
Some funny obligations life has laid,
But this question will always ring in my mind,
That why wasn't this bond ever made???

Thinking about him, I've spent countless days,
And countless nights, I've awake stayed,
And am still hoping and will always hope,
That some day this unmade bond will be made...!!!

(This poem conveys a certain emotion... however I do not approve of this attitude... Holding onto broken relationships cannot lead anyone anywhere.... but many of us do experience this emotion.. and I experienced it too and put it into words...!!!)

Lets make peace...

Why do people quarrel,
Why do people fight,
Why can't they ever understand,
That two wrongs don't make a right...

Why can't they accept with happiness,
Whatever they have to do,
Why can't they take their defeat,
Their ego why can't they break through?

Why do people despise others,
And make their own selves sad,
When it's so easy to be good,
Why do they want to be bad?

Why do people refrain,
From extending a helping hand,
Why do they feel they are great,
When they are mere grains of sand?

Why do we hurt others,
And break their fragile hearts,
We forget the word 'love',
From which each life starts...

God decides good and evil,
We are no one to decide,
Our duty is to spread love,
And be by each other's side...

It is never too late,
To spread the message of love,
By giving, sharing and recieving it,
This world, we can preserve!!!

Lets spread love, lets make peace...!!!!

Expectations...!!!

‘224', my professor called. 'Absent Sir’ was my reply to the roll-call. That’s the last register number in my class and soon as he finished marking the attendance, I pulled out my mobile from the left pant pocket and the clock showed 1522 hrs. ‘Shit!!’ I exclaimed. The next electric train arrives at 1526 hrs. Before I could finish saying S-H-I-T, I was already at the stairs. I heard a scream ‘ Rajesh!! Wait…I’m coming’. I was in no mood to wait and I ran from my block to the station ( this is the only instance wherein one can see me run…to catch a train)….a 200m stretch and as I reached the gate, I could see the train entering the platform ( a few minutes ahead of scheduled arrival ). The foot-over bridge was completely out of my sight and I crossed the road, ran across the bushes, climbed over the platform, bustled towards the train and boarded the first-class compartment just before the train could depart.

Phew!!!! A relief !!. I looked around the compartment to see it almost empty. At one corner was an average-looking girl, a college-mate of mine. I wondered ‘How long shall I ogle ??? Huh !!! No point sitting here’. I called one of my friends and he said a group of five was in one of the general compartments. Huh !! I decided to travel alone by comforting myself with the mp3 player. As I unzipped my bag, the thought of having lost my earphones, this morning shook me. PANG !!. Only then, was I reminded of the presence of my mobile’s headset ( in one corner of my bag ). I took it out and connected it to my Nokia 6070 and turned on the FM radio. Ever since I bought the mp3 player, I turn snooty at the very thought of listening to radio on my mobile. Yeah !! Supercilious !!! But when things get worse, I ultimately have to get back to it just like this day. FM Radio, My Saviour !!!!

I discovered something during the journey and my discovery could be acknowledged by a few. Some may view it as a ‘Blown-out-of-proportion’ stuff while to most, it would appear déjà vu. Well… as many of you might know, I enjoy even the smallest things around me and the learning process is no different. It was, in my opinion, noteworthy and I’m glad to share it with you.

Coming back, I tuned in to Radio Mirchi first and it was Taxi Taxi. It is, these days, on the lips of every youth - a sensational number from the film Sakarakatti tuned by the Mozart of Madras A.R.Rahman. I listened to this number (one of my favorites), then, kept changing stations but never experienced boredom. Atleast one out of the nine FM stations played a favorite song of mine and on most occasions, it was two or three. Being a music addict, I was thoroughly enjoying myself and the likes of Karthik, Hariharan, S.P.B, Chinmayee and many more Tamil singers kept my ears glued to the headset. Half-an-hour passed and as I was changing stations, a thought dumbstruck me. After it's flash across my mind, I inferred what it takes to bridge the gap between EXPECTATIONS and FULFILMENT.

Had my companionship been with the mp3 player that evening, I wouldn’t have been that contented. This may not have been experienced by many but I’m the epitome of this quality. Now why is that ? If it had been my mp3 player, changing of songs is at my will but the same is not applicable while listening to FM radio and I got to accept with what the RJs and producers of the FM stations play. So, when that happens, I’ve no expectations and I’m contented with what is being played. If a favorite song of mine is played, I’m all the more happy. With an mp3 player around, I long for THE BEST and how many BEST songs, you think will suffice to fulfil my expectations ??? I'm greedy for THE BEST everytime and beyond a point, I listen to songs half-heartedly though it might be a favorite song of mine. But when the same song is being played on the FM stations, I look a contented man.

Now, that doesn’t stop me from listening to songs on my mp3 player henceforth. It's just that I’ve learnt to listen to all songs with pleasure. The osmosis inside, has made me reach the equilibrium necessary to transmit from a sense of desire to a sense of fulfilment.

No music - related write-up of mine is complete without a mention of Ms.Shreya Ghoshal. Well…all songs mentioned above / listened on radio that day were non - Shreya tracks. This nightingale, forever holds a special place in my heart and her songs are always THE BEST. . Latest of hers which is making me go overboard is Tere Ore (Singh is Kinng) and Ek Haseena (Karz). The latter deserves a special mention here. Though Shreya is not heard much with Himesh nasal-ling his way through, Shreya’s impact is wow!!!. That one line of hers ‘Roz Milne Lage’ (at 2.22 min) makes me touch the Himalayan heights of enthusiasm everytime I listen to it. Wow!!! What a singer!!!! Love you loads..also worth mentioning here is Shreya's latest Tamil song 'Oru vaarthai' from Poi Solla Porom...another amazing number and it's a fast-beat..do listen to it.

what is life,if full of care

well this is my first post in february and i was almost set to post this in last week of january but due to unavoidable reasons I had to do the same now.Well how often do people take care of yourself and being a 19 year old one cannot expect mom to feed you evryday just as she used to do it when we were in class 5 or class 6.Have you ever wondered how do mothers take care of their childrens and even if the childrens dont take care of their mom ,it is the biggest sin as per the holy bible .I have always been my momma's child and i always wished to be the same.Since I was young ,my mom used to take care of me and imagine my dad used to leave me to school even when i was 15 year old.I almost never knew anything in life untill i entered my degree college where I met new friends.Very often I still wonder why do people wanted to be cared.A nurse takes care of patients in hospital and so does mom who cares and nurses her kids.Whenever I reach my college ,my dad used to call me "have u reached ya college safely" ,common what do u expect me to say dad "am i a kid!!".One day I had an extra lecture and unfortunately I never informed my mom about the same and it was terrible thing that i reached my home at 11 pm.When I reached my home It was like "aahh common whats happening here"!!.My mom was like she was really crying and so was my little sister.
"what is life ,if full of care
No time to stand ,no time to stare!!!"

I remember this lines and i guess that its true to some extent ..

When I Look At You

You have no idea,
you don't have a clue,
what it's like to be me,
when I am looking at you.

I wish you still knew...

Embaressed

Well I was in 5th std and I was among the elite students during my school days.I always used to score good marks in all my exams and used to be in top5.At those times we used to have a subject called morals where we were taught nice topics such as courtesy and things about god and all.I used to be the favourite of all teachers in my class and everyone used to know my name.
Our morals teacher gave a project which constituted 75% of our marks and told that this project would decide the marks in the final terminal exams .She told us to make a group of 5 students each and gave topics to each group.She gave topics such as patriotism,courtesy ,patience,anger,anxiety etc.The most dissappointing thing was that I was not present, the day when our teacher gave us the topic due to fever.As a result my friends were supposed to note the topics.The topic which we were supposed to work on was "patience" and my foolish friends noted it as "patient".Since i was absent that day , even i didnt realized that it was patience and even I thought that it was patient and we went on to make a project on patient. Friday was the deadline to submit our projects and teacher told us that late submissions would yield us a deduction of 20 marks which would result in marks loss.So we tried hard to complete the project within the stipulated time .
The next friday everyone was ready with the projects .We submitted our projects as well.The astonishing fact was that I was the group leader of my group .So our mam went through all our projects and she came through our project as well.After seeing it she was shocked for a while and called me .She said to me
"Stephen!!,I never expected this from you.You were supposed to make a project on patience I suppose and what is this"
without knowing I was stunned and I replied
"What??? patience ....my friends told me it was patient"
she said this to evryone in the class and the news spread like a wildfire.This embarassed me to great extent.All my teachers were surprised as I used to a brilliant student.I asked my teacher to give me a chance ........after requesting she allowed me to make another project.
I wonder this was the funniest thing that happened in my life.I was embarassed for a while and this incident hurted me a lot.After this I decided that I wont indulge in any group activities for any projects and all and I would do my project works and home works by myself and I follow this till now.Thee thing is that no one in my family knows this till now .........its disguise and i wont tell my family members as well.


Ps:This post is transferred from The Solitary writer blog

CLOSED

YES ATLAST THE CHAPTER IS CLOSED FROM MY SIDE. the things dat din begin, ended so early n so easily.but i shud admit i did the same mistakes i did in my past. um sad but its okk... one has to deal wid things ..it may take tym but um gonna be fine soon. yeah my emotions wont effect my life. a beginnng wid certain turns ended in such a staight path.
i made the things go on fly .......yeah dats the reason um repenting.today i can say i cant understand boys n even not gals.

Hi stephan....its divya from Chennai :)

Well, I am here after a long time.I really feel weird sitting at a cyber cafe  and surfing  as I  dont like going to cyber cafe these days and have to shell  out 15 bucks for an hour or so.So I decided to use my airtel gprs connection for a day and so  decided to post something after a long time.

It was 27th August ,2008.It was a big day for us ,I mean not for me but for other unplaced students of our batch.Cap Gemini  was supposed to visit our campus  on the same day.Every one was busy preparing for the apti's,GD and the interviews.By then ,I was  already placed and  me and prashant were cheering  the other unplaced guys in our group.Cheering means providing  our interview experiences and  encouraging them.As cheering is different than cheer leading,  may be they are similar to some extent... watch IPL highlights :p.

By 12.30 pm,the results of the aptitude tests were declared.Chandan and Pravin had cleared Aptitude tests  with high scores and a total of  23 students cleared the  apti where 101 students failed .The selected candidates were asked to prepare themselves for  interviews and students were happy as there was no GD coz only 23 students were selected from apti.
Well,I have some reason to write  and I guess my friend Rajesh would know this better.Right Rajesh??.
It was 1.30 pm ,I was busy helping chandan and Pravin.At the same time,my cell phone gave me a beep...

beep beep  and all started here.
I got a message from an airtel number. Well,I dont plan to mention the number here for some known reasons.

It read,
"Hi Stephan.....this is divya from chennai.Read your blog yesterday.Now I am in love.U are truly a genuis.I am ur fan of writing".

"What the fk ?" was my reaction at the beginning.I was confused for a while as I seldom give my phone numbers to any online friends.Well I was worries and I was confused coz how come a reader of my blog get my  phone number although I have  never mentioned my number any where in my blog.

I soon gave a call to the same number.

beep beep message num 2
"Hey I am in college lecture ..pls call later."

I then messaged that number.
"Hey who are you and how come you get my phone number? pls reply"

beep beep mess num 3
"who are you? and what is a blog?"

After reading this I  was pissed off.I then tried calling the same number from  few of my friends phone,but no reply.

Later on evening,
beep beep message num 4
"Hey sorry dude,This is Rajesh ,your blogger friend from chennai.I wanted to play ..sorry  i guess u were confused".

"What the fk?" was my reaction  after reading the  message.

I soon called him and explained and told him not to do  it again coz its irritating as u dont know whts the situation at the other end and you having fun.
Please dont ever do this to any of ur friends.
Coz its irriating and hurts at time. I felt like writing this ,so I have written it here.


No offence.

The Attitude Problem!!

Teachers' Day is round the corner and I being in class eleven now, have to prepare a dance performance. We have eight people-four girls and four guys. I am doing absolutely nothing except for dancing and showing "Attitude" as told by a few of them. Hmmm...well, even if I am showing attitude, am loving it.

I hate my partner in the dance. He is fat and doesn't know how to dance. He scares everyone with his "excited" moves! And I being only 45 kg..its difficult to interact with him. I have no issues about dancing with guys. Come on, I was trained in Salsa when I was about 14. Forget that. So, he happens to be the son of an MP. Whoa!!! Big Deal?!? Huh?? So the equation goes somewhat like this:
MP's son= Dominance+ Irritation
And another one: MP's Contacts= Son's Bragging about himself..

Its irritating and not happening. I don't take unnecessary shit. Why should I, anyways? Just because he is some MP's son?? Whatever!! So, this guy decided the song, mixed it and came with an absolutely absurd song. Never mind, we managed to choreograph it. Everything goes as per his decision. No one moves without Sir's permission. I don't know how he came up with this step, where the guys have to hold the girls by their waists (read bullshit!!!!). The moment I saw the step, my reaction was weird: "No ways...I am not letting him hold me by my waist!! Just look at the weight difference!!" Everyone wanted to laugh, but they didn't dare! As Always, the step was approved. Yeah, obviously. No one else has a partner like Pulkit (his name). The story is very long. A friend of mine was initially paired with him, but she was very afraid of him. So, I exchanged partners. And no one in the bloody group came with a better idea! Whatever..so, I told him, "You're so not holding me by my waist." He smiled like a lame guy!

Practicing with him has proved to be so irritating that I decided to treat him the way he treats most of us. Every time he called me for the dance, I refused. He asked, "Shruti, please stop showing attitude." I raised an eyebrow and snapped back, "Pulkit, you haven't even seen a drop of it. Call me the next time and I'll show you my attitude!" Since then, we have been having short hot talks every now and then. The other day, I had to drop Sumbul (new girl) to the new library and I see this fat ass walking towards me. I said, "Go to Hall #1" He replied, "Main bhi wahi keh raha thha. She can go by herself now. You come with me."
"Let me just drop her" I said.
Then he started teasing me with this "I don't know" line which said:"Why So Serious??" In the mean time, Jai joined us. I was walking ahead of Pulkit. He was constantly asking me the same question. I turned around and showed him the silent finger. His reaction: "Whoa!! Why this?? Tu aaj kal itna attitude kyu dikha rahi hai?"
"You know what, Pulkit? I am pissed off by your actions and I swear, I can piss you off so hard that you will never ever talk to me. So, please don't disturb me. And as far as attitude is concerned. Fine, I am showing it and I am loving it. I don't show attitde to anyone but when you need to draw the line, it becomes necessary!!"

Jai continued laughing as he said, "Le li..teri toh le li."

Man!! Level headed creeps are in abundance in my school. You look in this corner you see one, and then you look towards another corner hoping not to find another. And then, you are disapponted.
*Sigh* Life is full of creeps, but as mom says, "You should know where to draw the line and how to do it."

WILL this choc N cheese will work

Will i l be able to understand him ever.i dont know y um feeling a lil absurd today. i dont know wen he 'll be serious.
Sometyms i cope up wid things..........sometymes i loose my control...sometyms i do love this thing.but sometyms i get fed up of all such strange talks i never did n i never thot of..........
WELL , i do agree need is the most important factor dat keeps two contrastingly differnt person together.as long they r fullfilling eachother's need.they stay togethr.
I dont want to modify his qualities but definitely i want to make them work for rather than against us.i hope i can mantain a balance between these retraining personalities traitsn can modify its extreme ends..
''WEN I WALK ON THE BEACH TO WATCH SUNSET I DO NO CALL OUT'': a little more orange to right or purple .
NO way then how i can say my love to change.i want to respect n appreciate his individuality.
BUT How long i can go wid things i never wanted n how long i can keep myself deprived of things i always wanted...................DEFINITELY i hv to draw a line btwn my own needs.
sheetal_madaan958@yahoo.co.in

"Bonding with God"

From my childhood I was Religious,but I never knew that basic steps of being religious.That Time for me being religious was to go to mandir, stand and fold our hands pray and that finishes the process of being religious.

Then i grew up,i started getting know the real meaning of term being religious i.e was a "Bond With God" a faith,a trust on him.Though I am still not that perfect in all this but somewhere i knew that i had connection with God.I can feel hi presence around me.Today also am not that great devotee of his but than also i had a feeling that after all this God loves me,protects me.

Bonding with God is a very integral part of somebodies life.Its a very deep part of ones life.It can never be expressed in words.As it was once said by my dear friend that feelings for God can never be expressed 100%,its beyond ones thought process.

Today am 20 and nowI have started realizing what is the actual meaning of tuning with God.Though it will take another many years to discover more deeply,to reach on higher levels of God. I feel at this point my bonding with God is just like a 'new born baby'.Its still need to blossom and nurtured more.

I have always believed that living life to its basic rules are decided by God.But we humans till the time we experience them we don't find them worthy,that's what human tendency is.

God teaches us that excessive attachment is injurious to health,but till the time we don't experience it we don't find the teaching worth it.
Similarly God teaches us not to expect much from others,not from anybody,but we are humans,we can't help it,how can we understand things by just meare teachings or just by reading holy book.God is very kind to us,before any mishappening he gave us various signals but we live are lives soo blindly or i should say that we are soo engrossed in external world that we forget about our inner world n then we become soo dumb, deaf n blind that we don't understand his signals,which can save us from big disappointments.
But once you catch that frequency with God you start connecting with his signals,with his teachings,your trust rates tend to rise u start having more faith in his decisions.

If today somebody asks me' Who is God??How would you define him?'Then I'll just say that"God is another human being but the difference is that hes invisible and we humans are visible.Hes supreme power,we are his children and whenever we are in pain,we go to him,talk to him,pray to him,he helps us with his best idea's and his best approach,for what we are deservent and makes us feel composed,better"

Pure mind,innocent mind human beings are also God'd favorite and he is sometimes bias to them,though nobody in today's world is 100% pure but purity here means Good intentions,being forgiving,loving,Caring,n having a true innocent genuine heart.

God is kind to everybody he loves everybody and full fill wishes of everybody but for all this what we give to God??Nothing.How selfish n occupied we are with our worlds that we tend to forget that supreme power behind all are happiness.

This is the high time that we should be less selfish n less involved with the external world n take some time out for God and Thank him for all his blessings,his love,everything.

Note:This post is originally posted by me in my personal blog Unpredictable life,then at my dearest friend's blog DharmaKarma and now here:-)

Few words straight thru heart

i can write my feelings today in just few words.................
Um not excited, but um happy
Um not full of love ,but um full of life
Um not confused,but um desperate
um not loving this feel,but um satisfied by my this feel.
YES atlast the heart's ringing hv stopped coz i hv pickep up its call....now nothing can change my decisn.um goin wid wat my heart is sayng......
sheetal_madaan958@yahoo.co.in

Ranjish

۩ सर्व शकितमते परमात्मने श्री रामाय नमः۩
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Ranjish hi sahi dil hi dukhane ke liye aa
Aa phir se mujhe chhod ke jane ke liye aa

Pehale se marasim na sahi phir bhi kabhi tou
Rasm-o-rahe duniya hi nibhane ke liye aa

Kis kis ko batayen ge judai ka sabab hum
Tu mujhse Khafa hai to zamane ke liye aa

Kuchh to mere pindar-e-muhabbat ka bharam rakh
Tu bhi to kabhi mujhko manane ke liye aa

Ek umr se hoon lazzat-e-giriya se bhi maharum
Ai rahat-e-jaan mujh ko rulane ke liye aa

Ab tak dil-e-Khush faham ko tujh se hain ummidein
ye akhiri shammein bhi bujhane ke liye aa

Mana ki mohabbat ka chupana bhi hai mohabbat
Chupake se kisi roz yeh jatane ke liye aa

Jaise tujhe aate hain na aane ke bahane
Aise hi kisi roz na jane ke liye aa
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Transplanted From The Blog Enlightenment
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Jai Shri Ram!!!